i am scared

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Jan 14, 2009.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    another situation at work has caused me to be in the middle of a potentially unsafe, potentially physical unsafe, situation.

    i am having ptsd out the wazoo, and i am locking all of my windows, and worried, panicked, emotional. i have contacted all the right people within the company, but i don't know.

    for gods sake i did not ask for this cr@p. i just want a peaceful life. i told the mgmt team not to hire this person. i knew. and no one listened. but i had no idea it would end up like this.

    just like with h.'s death. if only someone had listened, she might still be alive.
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Steely, this job sounds like a complete nightmare.

    Are you job hunting?........I hope!

  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Geez..Steely, I'm worried about you. Can you give us some detail about what you've seen or heard that has you this frightened? I agree about the job hunting- no one can live like that and no job is worth it.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Steely, try not to panic. You've done what you can do. I know it's hard, but take deep breaths and try to relax a bit.

    I hope you're searching for a new job. I don't know how much more of this stress you can handle. I know I'd never have stuck it out as long as you have, and I'm one heckova stubborn person.

  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Babe, what is this new hiree doing?

    Praying so hard for you.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Steely -

    I admire your strength to stay and work things out - but have to ask; if this is the same job you had last Fall, why are you still there? That place was toxic then.

    I've lived through the severe PTSD. Therapy, time, sharing a home with a gun toting biker, learning how to shoot in the dark and two enormous pit bulls, a fenced in yard, and alarm system, extra strength on my door frames, powdering my floor with baby powder (for foot print evidence) and knowing my x was in jail? Allowed me to have a full nights sleep. I also planted holly and cactus under my windows, put glass bottles on my door knobs after I shut them so if someone actually GOT past the other stuff the bottle would fall and wake me up and swept the sand outside of my home with a broom (again for footprints).

    I hope you find something that helps you -but seriously I think you should check into a temp agency and leave the place you work at. If you feel this man/person is a danger? You need to get out now.

  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm sorry you are going through this.
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Steely, I'm sorry you're going through this again. I hope you are able to make someone understand and also that you're job hunting as well. This is just too much stress on you. Hugs~
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this. I sure hope you find something new soon. Hugs.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending hugs and strength. I don't know what is going on, but I know you have excellent instincts.

    Remember we are with you, and we love you.

  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Seriously if you need to get away you can come here to just chill for a bit. Or if you want to check it out here. Job hunt?
    If the in-laws aren't here you could even stay back and forth at our place and theirs!

    Just a thought.
    Please look into alternatives. We got good doctor's out here. You could go work Border Patrol!
    Take care of yourself, your should never live in fear. PTSD hoovers, I think a lot of us suffer from it and it needs to be dealt with sometime in our lives.
    I am trying, kicking and and screaming...
  12. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Steely, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
    Like the others, I do hope you're looking for another job.

    Star and Toto have given good advice. Please take it seriously. This job seems to have added boatloads of stress to your life without producing any of the satisfaction you were seeking. Now that it's bringing you into physical danger, it's time to cut yourself loose from it.

    Sending many hugs,
  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I know I have to leave. To stay is to continue to be a victim, and I am not going to do that one more minute in my life. I think I have stayed because I am stubborn and tenacious enough to think this will all work out, even if I have to make it work out, I will. But it is beyond my powers, obviously.

    I had someone follow me home tonight to make sure I am safe. I spent all day researching this creep. I will not do this anymore, and I told my boss that today. This place is toxic and crazy. No more.

    However, I cannot just work temp because I need the insurance for difficult child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I have to have a real job.........and that will take so much strength for me to hunt and conquer that I am overwhelmed.

    I am serious about moving though, and I would just sell my house and move if it was not for the health insurance that is so desperately needed.

    Please pray for me. I am so confused and scared. I need to find the strength to do what I need to do. I cannot live anymore scared and afraid, I have done that for my ENTIRE life, and I refuse to do it anymore. Period.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Has enough happened to have grounds for a protective order? I know you've tried to keep the jjob, but I agree- you need to get another one. Money doesn't matter if you aren't safe and healthy. It's one thing to perservere, it's another to stay in an abusive situation. Please keep posting and let us know how you are.

    What did this person do anyway?
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Steely...I don't even know what to say. Please be very careful.
  16. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    Breathe...............get some pepper spray Praying for a calmness and peace.
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2009
  17. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Steely, you are overwhelmed because you don't have a plan. Get out a piece of paper...

    With so much at stake about your son's placement it sounds as if you will have to bite the bullet and stay in your same geographical location until his program is over. How much longer does he have? Typically the same kinds of insurance programs are available at the same industries in the same areas.

    Call your insurance company to find out if the placement expenses would be covered at a new place of employment. If yes, you will need to find a job at companies what offer the same kinds of benefits with the same company. Around here The Blues are the major insurance company so that wouldn't be much of an issue.

    If you can overcome that hurdle, update your resume and start looking. If you need help updating your resume, there are a bunch of us here who would be happy to help you. We've done this kind of thing for other members over the years.

    You are feeling like a victim because you are immobile. Are you working with a therapist for yourself? When I was contemplating my divorce I saw one of Rob's old therapists. She helped me sort out my feelings, make an action plan, and follow it through, like a "life coach." She also helped me see that I was making progress even if it didn't feel like it at the time.

    I promise you that nothing will cure feeling like a victim more than taking some action, even if it's a little bit.

  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Just checking in this morning to say Hey.
    Hope you feeling OK?
    I have been thinking about you.
  19. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Steely, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this! Do you have 60 college credits? You can work in a school anywhere, with benefits ,with that amount, giving you insurance without a degree. You see an answer in moving, I think that's a great idea. Casinos offer benefits, and pay a living wage even if you don't have one college credit. Can you build, paint, or are you strong? A local painters union, carpenters union, laborers union might be something you can try in another state.

    Lasted edited by : Jan 19, 2009
  20. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    While I understand the desire to help protect Steely and I agree that being able to defend yourself is important, publishing how to maim/kill someone on this public forum is simply not advisable or appropriate. Please take future suggestions of violence to PM or email.