Good Morning, fellow Warriors.. After spending yet another hour reading on our beloved site, I came to this conclusion. Some of us would have gone stark-raving mad without being able to unload on this site, and regroup, and gather information, and be otherwise directed by those around us. I've come and gone over the years....but I always came back My son was a toddler when I first joined this site and he just turned 20 years old. I was going through Haedes with him on a daily basis...wondering what to do next, blaming myself, blaming his bio family, blaming anyone and anything I could think of. I've now spent sixteen of his twenty years researching medications (trying many with him), spent hours and hours and hours with therapists, camped out at the schools that I didn't think were treating him right, defending him to family and friends daily. It was totally exhausting (though I know you all have been there) and I lost myself in this whole process. I couldn't and wouldn't step back and take care of myself...I had to go on and on, move, change direction, try this day school therapy, try a new medication (horribly expensive), read another self-help book...I was consumed with making him a better person as he became an adult. I don't regret any of it. I also am not sure any of it helped in the long run. BUT all of you have held me up through those trying times. I still come and read and commiserate...my son chooses to be unmedicated (BIG mistake), doesn't hold a job, does drugs, drinks, and is very ugly acting to his adoptive father (my ex) with whom he lives. Difficult Child is a bit better acting to me because my new husband will NOT tolerate him being disrespectful. I'm slowly, slowly, getting it that I didn't make him this way, I did everything I could possibly do to help, and now it's up to him to become a decent human being. He listens to no one, is enabled by his father. Some days I feel like I bailed out on him, but how long does one give and give and give to the exclusion of your soul? I did that and you, on this board, did/do that. That's because we are parents and we love our children dearly. A few years ago I decided if he wouldn't help make himself the best he could be, then so be it. I can't do it for him forever. I love him with all my heart, but I needed to have a life or my life was going to be over. I still love this board....and all the wisdom that is here from your educations to your been-there-done-that help. We have to be very, very careful not to lose ourselves...it would be so very easy to do.