BusynMember
Well-Known Member
A little background. Hub and Jumper are really close. Hub will never take my side over hers. If her and I are daughter/mother bickering, he will say, "will BOTH o you stop it!" She listens to him a lot better than to me. In fact, of late, she doesn't listen to me, just him. Last night I told him to tell her to get her homework done before she can go to her basketball game tomorrow night. After all, we are fighting the school for services and Jumper needs to do her part. At first he was on his computer and didn't want to get off. He said, "Can't you tell her?" I said, "Well, she doesn't really listen to me as well as you." He stood up, angry, and as he walked up the stairs, with both Sonic and Jumper able to hear him, he said, "Oh, I"ll tell her just to shut up your nagging!"
Now this is something he often says in front of both kids. Sonic will still listen to me, but Jumper is starting to take my requests with a grain of salt and I feel it has A LOT to do with how husband treats me in front of her. Like I'm just a pesty peer. Usually I deal with it. Last night I lost it.
When I say I lost it, I really lost it. I take a lot and then suddenly it all erupts. I yelled (I know, not good) and told hub that she disrespects me because he does (right in front of the kids. I know. Not good). But I was furious...I'd had it. I told Jumper that if she liked, hub could do EVERYTHING for her, including fight for her school interventions, cooking, cleaning. I told her she had no right to talk to me like I was one of her friends that she was irritated at. She was crying, and normally that breaks my heart, but I didn't care. I told hub that I'm tired of how he disrespects me to the kids and that I wanted to spent Christmas in Illinois without him and Jumper (and I meant it). Normally, talking this way would make me feel so guilty I'd want to jump off the cliff. Well, it's the next day and maybe I should feel guilty, but I still don't. I"m still just ANGRY. Lately Jumper won't even listen to me if I tell her to pick up a piece of paper that she dropped on the floor. If hub tells her the same thing, she does it right away. So he is disrespectful to me in front of her, yet he gets angry that HE has to discipline her and that she won't listen to me. DUH!
I made an appointment with my therapist for 3:00. I called hub and told him that if he wanted a marriage, he'd have to show up. Now I'm thinking of bringing Jumper too. Sonic is home sick. He threw up this morning and didn't sleep all night. I know it's because he was upset over all the yelling in the house. He's the only one I feel really badly for. I think I may give him an early Christmas present, one of his games, so that he has something else to think about.
Hub is not a bad person. He just does not get how his derogatory comments about me to Jumper impact HER actions toward me, and he gets ticked that she won't listen to me and doesn't see his contribution to it.
I am quite ready to take Sonic and leave. We'll see what happens after the meeting. If Jumper comes with she may not get back in time for one of her cherished basketball games. I DON'T CARE. in my opinion, she needs to realize that family is more important than basketball.
I hope I didn't just ramble. I'm not sure this post made sense. Thank you for reading the vent.
Now this is something he often says in front of both kids. Sonic will still listen to me, but Jumper is starting to take my requests with a grain of salt and I feel it has A LOT to do with how husband treats me in front of her. Like I'm just a pesty peer. Usually I deal with it. Last night I lost it.
When I say I lost it, I really lost it. I take a lot and then suddenly it all erupts. I yelled (I know, not good) and told hub that she disrespects me because he does (right in front of the kids. I know. Not good). But I was furious...I'd had it. I told Jumper that if she liked, hub could do EVERYTHING for her, including fight for her school interventions, cooking, cleaning. I told her she had no right to talk to me like I was one of her friends that she was irritated at. She was crying, and normally that breaks my heart, but I didn't care. I told hub that I'm tired of how he disrespects me to the kids and that I wanted to spent Christmas in Illinois without him and Jumper (and I meant it). Normally, talking this way would make me feel so guilty I'd want to jump off the cliff. Well, it's the next day and maybe I should feel guilty, but I still don't. I"m still just ANGRY. Lately Jumper won't even listen to me if I tell her to pick up a piece of paper that she dropped on the floor. If hub tells her the same thing, she does it right away. So he is disrespectful to me in front of her, yet he gets angry that HE has to discipline her and that she won't listen to me. DUH!
I made an appointment with my therapist for 3:00. I called hub and told him that if he wanted a marriage, he'd have to show up. Now I'm thinking of bringing Jumper too. Sonic is home sick. He threw up this morning and didn't sleep all night. I know it's because he was upset over all the yelling in the house. He's the only one I feel really badly for. I think I may give him an early Christmas present, one of his games, so that he has something else to think about.
Hub is not a bad person. He just does not get how his derogatory comments about me to Jumper impact HER actions toward me, and he gets ticked that she won't listen to me and doesn't see his contribution to it.
I am quite ready to take Sonic and leave. We'll see what happens after the meeting. If Jumper comes with she may not get back in time for one of her cherished basketball games. I DON'T CARE. in my opinion, she needs to realize that family is more important than basketball.
I hope I didn't just ramble. I'm not sure this post made sense. Thank you for reading the vent.