Okay so Son calls me this morning because for reasons that are solid but will bite him in the backside if he does it, he wants to deposition parents of my grandson's friends...parents who ex has trashed him to so badly that grandson wasn't allowed to even talk to the kids when he was in son's custody. She's starting again. She has a strong personality so others tend not to want to get on her bad side. Often they believe her. I get his anger but think deposotioning parents will tick them off and keep their kids away from him again for THAT reason and that ex will keep doing it anyway. He feels she needs to be punished by the courts to stop doing it and other similar things. I don't think she'll stop unless in jail, which won't happen. I don't think his lawyer even wants to go there. His lawyer has acted disinterested in the case of late. And I don't want my son to suffer, but I am all tired out myself. I want to offer emotional support, but it never works. Well rarely. My son is the only stressor I still have in an otherwise peaceful, happy life. But he is a big one. So he didn't like something I said. The screaming began and I knew the names and abuse were starting so I said good bye quietly and disconnected call. I felt a little guilty. Not sure why. Maybe because son truly believes he is right and, even when he asks for input, I should know better than to give any. Obviously his thinking is abnormal in my opinion. I am going to Chicago with Jumper today to have our first Thanksgiving with Princess and granddaughter. My stomach is rumbling, the way only these adult kids can upset us. I texted him that I'm done with the case, that I love him but this was between him and his lawyer. He never texts so I'm safe from a reply. I'm not answering his calls all weekend and maybe longer. I am so tired of 40 years of either being ignored or, since the divorce, being abused. I have three other kids showing me exactly what a normal, loving parent/child relationship is like. I can't say I don't know. Son and I dont have a normal relationship. We never will. It is sad to acknowledge this but I am on a spiritual journey...and I don't know how to be kind to him, like I want to be and find it so easy to be with others, even those others i once struggled with. He is the my one person where kindness and humility and self love wont work. Thanks for a place to vent. Need to ask my God, angels, spirit guide for more wisdom. I can't figure him out on my own. I dont want to cut him off completely. But I need to cut contact to low. This is nuts.