I just found the Third Thing

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by trinityroyal, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I had never really understood the saying that bad things happen in threes before, but I seem to be living through it.

    I received a phone call last night from my estranged mother, whom I have not seen in nearly 8 years. She called to tell me that my darling Auntie Gem has died. Not really an auntie, but a close friend of the family, and an honorary one. My mother had been calling her on and off for several days, but didn't receive a return call. Worried, she called Gem's sister in England, who phoned her other (estranged) sister here, who called the police, who broke into Auntie Gem's apartment and found her dead on the floor. She had apparently been there, dead, alone, for at least three weeks.

    I can't contemplate how horrible that is. Gem was alone in the world. 70 years old, no husband or children, nearest family in England and the Caribbean. She and I hadn't seen much of each other for the last 10 years or so, but she always held a warm spot in my heart. She was beautiful, stylish, eccentric, had a smile that would light up a room. And now she's dead. Old, alone and dead. What a horrible way to pass, with no one to even notice you're not there for weeks. My heart is breaking for her.

    And now I'm confronted with the possibility of having to deal with an impromptu family reunion once funeral arrangements are made. I don't want to see or speak to my parents, my brother or his family. They (my parents, certainly) WILL be there, and I will comport myself with grace and dignity, just the way Gem would have done, and just the way she would have wanted me to. But I don't want to deal with it.

    mother in law's memorial is this Sunday. I haven't really even had time to start grieving for her. And now Auntie Gem is gone as well.

    BFF's second brain surgery was earlier this week. She is progressing slowly, but the doctors are pleased with her progress. She still cannot walk or talk, but she has a bit of feeling and movement on the paralyzed side, which they see as very positive. They are Medevac-ing her home this weekend, where she will continue with physio and rehab. It will be so much better having L and R back home, close enough where I can do something to help, besides just praying.


    If you could please spare a prayer for Gem, that she's at peace and that she knows how much she was loved, even if we weren't there to show her directly. And one for L that her recovery continues.
  2. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Prayers sent for all, including you.
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Prayers for you, Gem, L and your family. I'm sorry for all the losses. You've had a tough time. Hugs to you.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, Trinity! It's so heartbreaking that your auntie passed that way. But you should remind yourself that it was her body lying there so long alone unnoticed, her spirit was long gone to the other side. She is at peace now and happy.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss and that you had to experience the "comes in 3's" thing. Things such as these are hard enough dealt with one at a time, but when it's the 3's deal you don't so much as get a chance to catch your breath.

    Sending many warm gentle ((((hugs)))) and praying for you and the family. Glad to hear bff is recovering. I'll keep her in my prayers as well.
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Prayers for Gem, your BFF and your mother in law.

    Gentle hugs and peace in your heart for you. I'm so sorry for these losses.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh sweetie. :hugs: and lots of prayers.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im sorry trinity. I dont know what else to say. It just feels inadequate. Prayers and hugs for sure.
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry for your losses. Will say a prayer.
  9. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Adding my prayers.

    I'm glad that L is getting to come home this weekend. Being in her own town will probably help her and it will be better on her husband.

    I'm sure your Aunt knew that you loved her! Just as you know that she loved you. Just because you don't see someone doesn't mean that love stops.

    Sending {{{Hugs}}} your way!
  10. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Trinity I'm sorry (hugs) I often wonder if this "things come in 3" thing is to shock our bodies all at once so that if each thing came one at a time the strain/pain of having to handle just 1 of them wouldn't be even more so. Think about it? If we have one thing and we devote all our energy to it it seems to last longer and is must stronger but having 3 at once to juggle and handle, while it probably is and can be overwhelming, chances are it's a quick burst and not as prolonged of an action as a single thing. Just my perspective over the years.

    In any case, as I said, I'm sorry and sending you lots of hugs and strength your way.
  11. keista

    keista New Member

    Prayers going out.
  12. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Lots of prayers and ((hugs))
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    So sorry for you pain. I've noticed things tend to cycle as well. Lots of bad stuff then a break then back at it again.
  14. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry for you myriad of pain. Lots of types of it. Huge hugs and support for you.
  15. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Sending hugs and support your way. l am so sorry for your pain.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    How awful about your Auntie Gem! You hear about this happening, but OMG...

    I PM'd you with some more private thoughts....
  17. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs and prayers going out.
  18. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and prayers everyone. Having this safe haven here where I can vent, scream and cry lets me keep my "game face" on in the world.
    Perhaps once the hoopla has settled a bit I will have a chance to collect my thoughts a bit. Right now, I feel like I'm riding my bicycle up a steep hill into a headwind. I'm pedalling for all I'm worth, and grinding it out. The only thing worse than to keep going would be to stop and roll back down the hill.
  19. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Trinity, sending you many hugs, I'm so sorry! If you don't feel able to deal with seeing your family, don't feel obligated to go. You can grieve your own way, privately. Don't subject yourself to more hurt and pain, it's not necessary. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, I'm so sorry. (HUGS)