I just heard sad story

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Aug 12, 2018.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have often spoken of my friends who adopted four kids and the one son was too troubled to live at home so he was sent to residential treatment. But the family still engaged with him. It seemed like a perfect marriage, perfect family. You know the type.

    Several years ago the mother died of a blood clot after a hysterestomy. She was 42. It was SO sad. We had an age difference but were close to the family. This left the awesome, grieving father with four minor children. Everyone scrambled to support him and his family. We had all loved them both so much.

    A few months after his wife died Jumper saw him making out in a restaurant with another woman. We thought it was soon but that he was probably very lonely and sad. Who were we to judge? A tragedy like that had not happened to us.

    Fast forward many years. The kids are grown, except for the very youngest in her teens. I thought they had moved out of town but I saw a daughter working at a Dollar Tree. Later she went on break and we talked. She had moved back to our town.

    Her father had married a foreign woman and dumped his entire family, never sees the children. The two oldest girls, 18 and 23, live together. The 18 year old had been living with her granddmother but she died. Then her other grandmother died. She and her sister are alone. Youngest sister was a family adoption and went to live with her birth father which is in Illinois so they rarely see each other. Son, who spent years in residential, is on the streets, drugging, trying to be a rapper. Homeless and alone. I think she mentioned jail but honestly there was so much sadness to take in, maybe not. The girl spoke strong and bravely and without rancor.

    I told this girl we would welcome her and her sister over anytime and will invite her.

    Apparently the father is suddenly shunning everyone and is out of the country a lot. His wife must be a piece of work to be okay with this. At least in my opinion

    All four kids had very rough starts in life and now this.

    I was very sad about this and still am.

    Just a vent.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2018
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    That really is sad for those kids even if they are grown.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It was clear that the 18 year old is heartbroken but is doing her best. The 23 year old was always strong. I hope she is holding up well and able to support her sister. The younger one is trying to finish cosmetology school while she works.

    I know this never would have happened with father if the mother had not died. Something about that changed him to his core. He had been so good to his family. Now he doesnt even talk to his siblings! He had been so close to his family. I dont get it. How can you abandon your children who adored you and looked up to you? I remember them climbing all over him and him hugging them and how he would do anything for his wife . I cant believe he changed this much.
     
  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    You're a very kind person SWOT, to look to the dad with compassion and an attempt at understanding.

    I can't even imagine what losing your spouse does to people. I have told Jabber he doesn't get to die first and leave me alone. But, when you have dependent kids??? Well, you don't get to look after yourself first and foremost. You have to be strong for them! These weren't kids that were being "difficult" like some folks here deal with. They lost their mom, too!

    Still, I guess "there but for the grace of God am I" is a good way to look at it.

    It is a sad story.
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have no sympathy for the father now. His kids are barely adults and they have nobody else. One is a teenager. Adopted kids are especially sensitive about being dumped by parents! The two biological siblings cant even look for their birthmother as she has severe schizophrenia, which I suspect the boy also has. He has never been right and has had psychotic episodes.

    I cant imagine dumping my kids for a new honey no matter what. Not even now that they are grown up. They still need me. They always call when they are upset and need to talk.

    The kind mother must be turning in her grave.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2018