I need some advice on AZ job

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So, I am supposed to hear back this week on the job in AZ, but I am still torn on if I should accept if the job is offered.

    I guess I was not impressed with 75% of what I saw. It is hard to explain, but just to name a few:

    • The town is extremely impoverished & racism is rampant
    • I would be a DM of 6 gas station/gift shop type of things which is not exactly the most pleasant environment
    • The company just laid off all their staff to start over new this year
    • They are becoming unionized
    • No one had a clear direction on what my new role would be & I would be working for almost all men
    • The town is inordinately small
    On the flip side:

    • I would live in a town that is inordinately beautiful
    • I would make twice what I make now
    • The chance to move up in this ENORMOUS co is abundant, and this position would be a huge, huge, positive on my resume
    • I could live in a condo that is 5 times as nice as my house for the same price - and my backyard would be a National Park
    • And if I have to spend one more minute in my current position with this current company where I continue to be harassed I might go mental.
    I am so torn. I just don't know what to do. I do not want to sell my house, and move, and absolutely hate it there. I do not need any more misery - I need healing.
    But the same goes for staying where I am. There is not any peace where I am, just misery. I brought my harassment case to the VP of our company today - it was a huge, scary step on my part. But I am done. I gotta move on. Where is the question. Any insight?
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I don't know, Steely, the racism would bother me. You were not there long and you are already aware that it exists in that community.

    I lived for 24 years in an extremely impoverished small town. When I moved to MD I was actually shocked to find out that the whole country was not stuck in the same fatalistic mood as my former environment. People here actually have fun and smile! I used to shop at Walmart, looking at all the young moms who were exhausted and overwhelmed. There was little reason for them to feel hopeful that anything could change in their lives.

    On the other hand, you are describing a beautiful natural environment. I don't have advice, other than to trust your gut. Good luck and I wish you the best!
  3. gwenny

    gwenny New Member

    Hi Steely, I'm in AZ and love it. We have not had any problems with racism (thank goodness). Just wanted to wish u the best of luck with ur decison.
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Ok, so let's break it down.

    The town is extremely impoverished & racism is rampant
    Impoverished town doesn't mean YOU will be.
    Racism....that would be a biggie for me too. But again, doesn't mean you
    have to be or are.

    I would be a DM of 6 gas station/gift shop type of things which is not exactly the most pleasant environment

    Better than a hog farm. ;)

    [*]The company just laid off all their staff to start over new this year
    [*]They are becoming unionized

    Union isn't always a bad thing. It CAN be but then again, it can be bad
    WITHOUT a union. As for the layoff...what is the company's history on
    this type of thing? Does it happen often or is this an isolated case?

    No one had a clear direction on what my new role would be & I would be working for almost all men
    It sounds like it is a new position. This could be an opportunity for you to
    make this job your own and show them what you can do. And the men?
    Personally, while I like having other women around too, I don't mind
    working with men. Most of them are good guys and it gives me different
    perspectives on things. (Plus, they are fun to pick on)

    The town is inordinately small
    Small towns, while boring at times, can be some of the best places ever.
    This is one you'll have to decide if you can live with.

    I would live in a town that is inordinately beautiful

    I would make twice what I make now
    If the cost of living is comparable to where you are at now, this would be
    a huge plus!

    The chance to move up in this ENORMOUS co is abundant, and this position would be a huge, huge, positive on my resume
    Always a good thing.

    I could live in a condo that is 5 times as nice as my house for the same price - and my backyard would be a National Park
    Sounds like THAT could help with the small town part!

    And if I have to spend one more minute in my current position with this current company where I continue to be harassed I might go mental.
    For me, that is reason enough to go to ANY other job.

    Personally, I think this job/move sounds like just the thing for you. You'll be away from the idjits at your current job and can go somewhere that would be free to be yourself. You won't be living under the shadow of the harrassment or any labels from it. Your difficult child is getting help right now and this can give you some Steely time. A fresh start, room to breathe, I think you should do it. But....that's just me and me going only by what you post here. You are the one who has to do it and you are the only one who can decide if the benefits outweigh the negatives. I live in a fairly small town. There are only about 30K people in the entire county and we only have one high school in the county. (Public anyway) It's a fairly racist town, the job situation isn't good but there are good things and good people here too just as I'm sure there are in the new town.

    If I were you right now, in your situation and with what I know...honestly I would be scared to death to do it. BUT...I'm a person who has never lived more than an hour away from my family and I've lived in one of 3 neighboring counties my entire life. Much as I would love to do things, last summer was the first time since I was 2 that I was west of Chicago AND the first time I was out of the country. husband has talked about moving to different states and while there is appeal there for me, I hate the thought of leaving my family and friends and the area that I know. For you though (and please don't take this the wrong way....I'm using this as a positive), it's just you. You have the freedom to do anything you want. difficult child is far away as are your parents. This is an opportunity for STEELY and personally, I think you should do it. In the end though, it's up to you. Go back over your list and decide what you can handle, what you can live with and what appeals to you. You'll do what's right.

  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thanks guys. I agree Mstng........it is finally ME time.

    I also agree with 3 shadows that the racism, and me being the "powerful white female" could really kill my soul.

    On the other hand, I could also use that for good, and influence people to stop the racism, and use my inordinate amount of tenacity to move the town in the right direction. (Yes, I am inordinately stubborn. I know, what a big surprise.;))

    This town is only 5K, and I live in a city of 3 million ~ big switcharoo ~ yet maybe I could have more influence in a smaller town ~ Change things, make this world a better place. I know, there I go again ~ dreaming. But that is me.

    Funny story ~ the only way to get to this town is to take a puddle jumper into the airport. So our 9 passenger plane broke down, and I spent 3 hours talking to this person who lives in this town in AZ. She is the one who really spelled out to me what I had already observed. She is in this town on a 5 year contract as a school teacher to try and change the environment there. She hates it in this city, and will move as soon as her contract is over. Yet, in some ways, she inspired me.

    The whole trip was a complete mixed bag for me. I cannot discern my gut ~ as I think fear has monopolized my intuition.

    Seriously, though. Nothing can be worse than my present job. I hate it. But to sell my house and move to a new state and city, just because I hate a job is not a good reason to take another job.

    Ohhhh...........the conundrums.

    OK, one more plus is that during the winter I would have tons of down time and I could finish my book.

    Then again, I may not even get the job offer, and so this whole post is moot. Thanks for any and all help.:confused: I am dazed and confused.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I would go for it. I was a DM for almost two years and I loved it. There's freedom to go from store to store, and if it's a new position, you have the chance to make history. A totally new environment, in my opinion, will give you a chance to heal.

    I know you'll make the right decision for you. Many hugs.
  7. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    OK, I am one of the older people on this board and I can tell you something. The biggest regrets of my life are not about the things I did; they're about the things I could have done but didn't.

    You are in an unbearable situation where you are. This could be a good thing. To me, it's worth a try. If it doesn't work out, you can try something else. At least you will know that you gave it your best shot instead if sitting around thinking, "I wonder what would have happened if I had tried it."

    You day the town is impoverished and racism is rampant. That could describe just about any place in our nation these days. I'll bet there are a lot of happy, well-rounded, non-racist people who love it there. And it's inordinately small? How would you like to come live with me? There are 200 people in my whole town. I"ve lived in cities and I've lived in SMALL towns. They both have things to offer. I don't know that one is better; they're just different. The job sounds like one that could be approached by accentuating the negatives but as I read you negatives it seems that, with a change of attitude, a lot of them could become positives. And you have a whole list of positives.

    You have said that your job and pretty much else in you life stinks right now. So what is the worst that could happen? You try something new and it doesn't work out so you then try out something else new. Isn't that better than doing the same old thing that you know you hate?

    I know this would be a huge move and a big change in your life but that is what growth is about. One of my favorite songs says "You can't look forward to tomorrow and still hold on to yesterday." What we know and what we are familiar with is comfortable and easy; the unknown is hard. But we have to move on if we want to live.

    I can't tell you what to do but if I were you I'd take the chance and try it.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yep Muttmeister you are right. Seriously, what do I have to lose.

    I officially got the job offer tonight. Now, I just need to accept ~ or not.

    I think many of my negatives could become positives.

    This is the decision, for me, of a lifetime.

    I feel scarrreeeeedddddd............:ashamed:
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I think I'd go for it and give it a try for six months to a year. I mean, you can do anything for six months, can't you? Despite the negatives, the positives sound really, really good. Remember, it's just a JOB. You can always change your mind if you get into it and decide it's not working out. And perhaps you can have some influence on that job description since it seems to be so nebulous right now.

    I'm of the opinion, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

    Go for it!
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Muttmeister raises several excellent points. And I can understand you being scared.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Congrats on being OFFERED the job!!

    I honestly can say that the only moves we have made that we regretted were to big cities. We live in a small city, but not exactly a small town. You won't be slave to this company for life. If you hate it, well, you were looking for a job while employed when you found this job. And even in the current economic climate managers are STILL being hired in many places.

    Small towns typically have a lower cost of living than big cities. Also, you can often count on your neighbors to look out for you because in smaller towns people HAVE to look out for each other.

    don't go in assuming that everything NEEDS to be changed. Different from the big city is different. You can impart some racial equity into hiring decisions, but you should take a few weeks/months to figure out exactly who's who and what's what. Become PART of the town and it will be MUCH easier to bring about change.

    But this is YOUR time. It osunds like a position they REALLY WANT you for. Your current position is one it sounds like the company doesn't care about (I don't think your co cares about anyone from what I gather!).

    I hope that whatever you decide, you are HAPPY. You deserve it!
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Steely, congrats on the job offer!

    What I keep thinking about is how absolutely toxic your current job seems to be and how much anguish you've had because of it! Maybe you could make this one into what you want it to be. Is there any chance of renting your house, maybe through an agent, so you leave your options open?

    There's both good and bad things about living in such a small town - it's not all bad. There's only two v-e-r-y small towns in our county and less than 5,000 people. Yes, there are lots of old fashioned attitudes and some that seem to be back in the 1940's. But there are lots and lots of good, honest, hard-working, caring people too. Honestly I couldn't picture myself living anywhere else now.

    And I agree with MWM - a lot of the things I regret the most now are the things that I could have done and didn't, the opportunities that I passed up.
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Steely, you have been miserable for a long time. This is an opportunity to start fresh and with a clean slate. It's definitely not going to be perfect and you will work with idiots and jerks. Such is life but you can take what you have learned and be better prepared for the hassles of work.

    My only concern would be the supports. I don't know if you have good support system where you are and if there are any in the small town. You need to be able to have those things that help you get through the day.

    You can't change the world but you can change you.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    Racism is EVERYWHERE practically. Just to what degree it's virtually acceptable changes.

    I think Ghandi said it best - YOU must be the change in the world you expect to see. I try very hard every day to live with that in my head. It's amazing what closed doors it opens. Not always but most times.

    The thing that bothers me the MOST - ?
    No one has a clear idea of what you should be doing -

    I wouldn't take that job unless I had a written outline /job description because what sounds too good to be true - can be if you have paperwork to back it up. WIthout a job description - you can become the strongest, onliest white lady, lets take advantage of her because whatever we say do she has to do - person. Not good.

    The rest will fall into place - and sounds like it's a better place than where you are - if you KNOW THE RULES AHEAD OF TIME (ie: job description) you can accel and move up and have a great house, and a lovely income.

    You can make new friends - you can do things you've wanted to do but couldn't due to financial problems - I think this is great - but again, if you don't know the rules to a game - and start playing things get changed as you go along and THAT is where the problems are. Maybe they are waiting for someone to write out an outline OF the mgr. duties and THAT person would get the job or be the tie breaker?

    Then you could literally write your own rules - have them agree - and do what you said you would do. Know what I mean??

  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Congratulations, Steely!!!!!

    I would take the job for 2 reasons.
    1) It's a change
    2) You said you have the opportunity to move up, so you will probably move again in a yr. It's a temporary situation.
  16. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Steely, I had the opportunity to make a huge change in my life when I was your age and didn't take it. I have always wondered about it and what my life would be like now if I had jumped in. -RM