I need stories of hope. Have you ever told yourself, after being heartbroken many times, "Never again. I will never trust anyone." Then you accidentally let someone in your heart. They break it. Then you tell yourself, "I told you not to trust anyone, stupid." Well that's how I'm feeling now. I have many failed relationships, some of them lasting only six months, the longest nine years. They leave or they cheat. Or both. And I fall for it, again and again. And I tell myself I won't but I do. The last one was married. Didn't find out until we were already involved. I was attached. I feel betrayed, alone. My ex fiancé, before him, had an online relationship the same time he was seeing me. We broke up. He is now engaged to another woman, and she just moved in with him. He moved her all the way from Texas to Nebraska. I don't want him anymore, but I am jealous. Jealous he found somebody first. Jealous he is living the dream, and most likely, I never will. I have had about nine or ten relationships in my lifetime. They have all gone so wrong. I don't know if it's due to my bipolar and anxiety. Maybe I don't deserve love. At least not THAT kind of love. People tell me I have to love myself before I could love anybody else. At times, like recently, I did love myself. My bipolar, anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), for the most part, were finally stable. My kids are still struggling, but that's a lifelong issue, and I was at peace with what I had. Then this. Opening up, knowing I shouldn't. Big mistake. At my age, I feel like it just wasn't meant to be. I am not relationship material. Some people are, some people aren't. And I am not. Then people say, "It will happen when the time is right. You're still young. Don't give up hope." Well I am giving up hope. I am fast forwarding my life ten years from now, seeing myself as the crazy old cat lady, retired, with ten more cats, calling my kids every day and begging them to come visit me. Meanwhile, everybody around me is getting married, or they are married, and they are happy. And I am resorting to lifelong loneliness. So what I really need is any story, of someone you know, or perhaps yourself, that thought it was over then it all worked out. Older people, who have been through much, then finally found love. Or peace. Or something. Right now I'm just lost.