I think I'm going to hide under the pillows....


Well-Known Member
as much as possible the next few days. easy child/difficult child's situation is
turning increasingly ugly through no fault of his. It appears that the States Attorneys office thinks anyone who gets a VOP should do a minimum of TWO years in prison. If he doesn't agree
to 2 years and protests the offer...they can up it to five years!

To say I am sick about this is a massive understatement. Both the S.A. AND the P.D. feel comfortable ignoring the Judge's request that on the next court date (Tuesday) that availability
and suggestions for s.a. programs be available.

As you guys know I am proud to say I am a Warrior Mom. I am
calling programs myself and asking them to fax letters saying they have space and would welcome my boy. On Tuesday...or maybe
on Monday via a delivery service...I am going to interject myself
into this decision making progress.

Frankly, I am afraid. This Judge is unpredictable. The very young attorney from the S.A. office has that cocky self confidence that one gets when first given power. The P.D. "faked
me out". I thought he might be an advocate for easy child/difficult child. He did
telephone me after I faxed five pages including the MD report
showing the deficits. BUT, alas, when he visited easy child/difficult child at the
jail today he didn't offer anything but "take their 2 years or
hope you don't get 5". :crying:

I am angry. I am nauseous. I am frustrated. I simply do not
understand why thousands and thousands of violent people are allowed to wander the streets and a dumb kid with brain damage
could get sent to prison for years because he had some pills in
his unoccupied car.

Although I may change my mind and pop up a zillion times this weekend, I'm going to ask for some prayers aimed at my kid. He
would be physically safe in prison (thank God, I don't worry about that) but he is suppose to be healing and having his brain
cells take over for those that were lost. Being separated from
his family AND doing nothing for two years will/could limit his
recovery drastically. Please pray. DDD


New Member
I'll keep him and you in my prayers.

I'm sorry you're having to do all the leg work! I hope it makes all the difference and your son gets placed someplace that helps him!


Well-Known Member
Im so blasted confused by your legal system down there DDD. How is what your grandson did worthy of that length of time? Up here he would practically have to rape a small kid to get that. Ok...maybe not that drastic...but I know a guy convicted of sexual abuse with no contact just lewd conduct and he got 3 years.

Pills? That is not 2 years! You would have to be trafficking in major quantities.

Having you thought about moving...How bout someplace on the NC coast?

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
Fingers crossed and lots of positive vibes being sent down to you..

The legal system makes no sense to me at all - no ryhme or reason - I just don't understand.

Oh my friend, I am so sorry. I think you should request a new PD. That's RIDICULOUS. Your difficult child has issues and they should take that into consideration. You can go and talk to the S.A. He may be an :censored2: but if you let him know that you're going to fight, he may back down a little. They're probably focusing on the VOP not the actual "crime". Research VOP cases in your area so you can refer to them. This is absolutely unacceptable and although you want to go under the covers, the only way you will be able to deal with this is to fight.

It's not my place to tell you how to deal with it, I'm just speaking from my experience.

You go Warrior Mom!



Active Member
and when you hear that nicole richie got 81 minutes in jail for her multiple DUIs and lindsay lohan, paris hilton and others get a slap on the wrist....

my son is not a violent offender either. he is afraid he will be killed in jail. he consulted lawyers and is looking at up to 5 yrs as well. he is begging me to hire one instead of a public defender and I cannot and will not.

it is so hard. I know if anyone can come up with a solution or help for your boy, it will be you. we just get so worn out from it. we fight a huge war, climb the mountain and climb down the rocks with our kids on our backs, fall exhausted to the ground from the struggle, slowly heal and bolster up some hope that it can get better....and they go fall off another cliff again.


Active Member
:warrior: Offering you my spare polish and lost of strong {{{sunny hugs}}}. It's true, if anyone can get the legal system to do something...it would be you.

How 'bout a letter from the neurosurgery office and from any of the programs saying prison for a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is not acceptable nor helpful. Are you writing the judge yourself? Great idea about calling the programs yourself.

:angel: Asking all my angels to help you.


Well-Known Member
A lot of prayers being sent down to Florida...Come on out from under the covers, polish your armour and start the fight!


New Member
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I simply do not understand why thousands and thousands of violent people are allowed to wander the streets and a dumb kid with brain damage could get sent to prison for years because he had some pills in his unoccupied car.</div></div>

I so agree with this statement. They scream and yell and say we have no room for criminals in our justice system and they always need money to build more jails. I wonder if it ever occurred to them that situations like that of your easy child/difficult child may be part of the problem. I am a firm believer in letting the punishment fit the crime. It's just these kinds of things that make me wanna scream.

Ok, easy child/difficult child did break the law but, who, other then himself did he bring harm to?!?!? Yes there should be consequences but two to five years?!!!? That's just ridiculous!!! It's my opinion that most young people 98% at least will grow out of most of these behaviors. Maybe I'm just an optimist but that has been my experience. I love young people and I never lose hope for any of them. To have something like this happen to them does not increase their chances of growing up and becoming useful members of society in my humble opinion.

I will step down from my soap box now but I know so many young people this has happened to it just makes me sick.

DDD, I really wish there was something I could suggest for you that might be helpful but all I can do is understand your pain and keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I think it will be years or never before our justice system gets the idea that maybe their not helping our society by doling out these kinds of punishment for these kinds of crimes.

The two boys that may have to go on trial for Butte Friday just appalled me! Even if it had been my daughter that was touched I would still think it was blown way out of proportion.

Do they not take his medical history into account? I feel so bad for you all. Your a strong lady and your easy child/difficult child is so lucky to have you. I hope things get better but in the meantime please take care of yourself and take strength in knowing we all care deeply about you and your family. I will light a candle and send up a prayer for your son today.



Well-Known Member
I'm reading and accepting the support. Trying to keep my energy
focused on the composition I am preparing and the appropriate delivery.....it's terribly complicated deciding whether my effort
to help might in fact hurt. on the other hand, if I don't do anything he could be loaded up in a bus and taken away. Geez. DDD


New Member
When I think of everything wingnut got away with, including sale of a controlled substance to a minor and she never spent one day in jail, what they are doing to your difficult child really makes me sick!!!!


Psycho Gorilla Dad
DDD, re: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I am angry. I am nauseous. I am frustrated. I simply do notunderstand why thousands and thousands of violent people are allowed to wander the streets and a dumb kid with brain damage could get sent to prison for years because he had some pills in his unoccupied car.</div></div>
In short, (a) because they can, (b) because it's easy, and (c) because it's another notch in the gun holster.

I don't say that lightly. My bro was a PO for over seven years (before being hit with narcotics charges of his own). It's pretty safe to say that both the PD and the DA's look for the easy wins in the latest tar-baby issues. Commies in the 50's, hippies/druggies in the 60's, drunk drivers in the 70's and 80's, druggies again in the 80's and early 90's, child molesters and druggies from then until now.

That's not to say that there aren't good people in the PD and DA's offices, but unfortunately DA's are elected and have to "prove they're doing their job". PD's are just as overloaded, and will many times do whatever they can to "clear the books". It may have simply been easier for the PD to clear their books and move on. It wouldn't be the first time, sorry to say.

While I have many times thought about (and almost followed through) with calling the PD on my son, I've never harbored any illusions that he would get a fair shot. At that point, it was that the solution via the legal system seemed to be the lesser of two evils. I know that there are good people in those jobs, but the dice are loaded, and there's a better chance of getting folks who are interested in moving volumes of work, not producing smaller quantities of good work.

Sorry for the rant, but your observation has been a pet peeve of mine for many, many years.

I wish you the best, and will keep you in my prayers. I sincerely hope that you're able to interject some sanity into the conveyor-belt mentality your son seems to be on with the legal system.