I think my son might be using drugs....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Joe Lancaster, Dec 22, 2013.

  1. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    My son is 17 years old. He is generally a good kid, involved in sports, community activities, has straight A's and has already been accepted to a fairly prestigious university. He has never given me any reason to suspect any wrong doing, but what I found today has me fairly certain that he is into some bad stuff.

    I was in his room looking for his cellphone charger, I couldn't find mine and needed to charge my phone. While looking through one of his drawers I found a little box tucked in the corner. Inside were all these little baggies with different labels, there were tons of them, here is a list of what they were labled...
















    Does anyone have any idea what these are? Most of the baggies had white powdery residue on the inside. Is this what kids nowadays are doing? Where is he getting this stuff? I am very afraid he is going to overdose, I think the best thing might be to call the police and let them handle it.

    Please help, I really don't know what to do, I'm just absolutely shocked right now.
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Welcome, but sorry that you need to be here. This website provides info on those chemicals: http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/

    I don't even want to know which of these my son used! Others will be along to give you advice and support. My son is now 24 and doing much better, though he regrets his drug use.
  3. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    Thank you for the resource! Good to hear your son is doing better.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He is getting the drugs from his peers. It's not hard to get any drugs. Some drugs that kids use, which are dangerous, are prescription drugs used wrong. I have no idea what is what, but if it's white powder that is never a good thing. Sounds like he is very involved in the drugs. Have you noticed any changes in him? Expect him, when confronted, to claim he is "holding them for a friend." We actually believed this the first time our daughter told it to us because we couldn't believe she'd use drugs.

    I would try to get him into a rehab. I would take away the use of the car until he was clean. My daughter got into three car accidents and one was quite serious and cost her a fortune.

    I think it's safe to say that he is not a new user with all the baggies you found. He may claim he's new to it though. Keep us posted...and I'm so sorry.
  5. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    They just sound so alien, I've never heard of anything like these before. Back in my day all I would hear about was pot. That's the thing, I haven't noticed any changes at all, and judging by the number of baggies I don't think this is a recent occurrence, it looks like he has been into it for some time. He gets home from work at 4 so I guess I'll have to confront him then, I just don't know what to say.

    The thing is he buys all his own things, he bought the car and pays for gas and everything so I don't know if it is my place to take it away. He has never been in any acidents or even recieved a speeding ticket.

    I just don't understand why he is doing this, he is so smart and seems to be going places. He hasn't changed at all but I'm worried that might change.

    Thank you for the supportive words!
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm 60 and kids took all sorts of drugs back then in the day and they do now too.How do you tell him? You say, "I was looking for a charger in your room and I found these" (hold up bags). While he rants about his privacy, stick to the issue. in my opinion kids don't get the kind of privacy they get once they move out on their own once we find out they are harming themselves.

    Frankly, I'd do a drug test on him and I'd spring it on him without warning, although many drugs don't show up even if the child has taken them. But many do. If he isn't sober, I'd cut off the car insurance and take the car keys. If he gets into an accident and kills himself or someone else...you don't want to be responsible. I would keep checking his room. After my daughter broke the law by using drugs, we told her flat out that she had lost her right to privacy in our home and that we WOULD be checking her room. We did too. You'd think she would have been careful, but she wasn't. We found tons of stuff in her room. It was like she'd lost all of her common sense.

    My daughter claimed she mostly took drugs after we went to sleep. I'd call his school to see if they noticed anything with him, like sleeping in class or a bad attitude...anything at all. It's puzzling that there are no clues at all, really. Do you spend a lot of time talking to him or does he mostly just go his own way?
  7. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    My daughter is like your son - a good student and on track to go to a good college and I recently found LSD in her room. I am still suspicious that there is more, but I haven't seen signs of it and I have looked. I would not have known if I hadn't discovered it either.

    They can order drugs off the internet now. So they don't even have to know someone else who can get it for them.

    We have considered making our daughter quit her job since she is spending her money on things we don't approve of. She is about to be 18 but she drives our car, so we do feel that we can take that away. We did take it away for a while and even now, follow up on making sure she is where she says she is. We have not allowed any sleepovers at anyone else's house so far and we look for signs of drug use when she gets home. We are trying to make it as hard as possible for her to do them but have no doubt that if she wants to, she will find a way.

    We did take her to an attorney when we first found the LSD. He talked to her about legal consequences of possession and driving under the influence. It was a free consultation.

    I don't really have any answers but share your shock that this can happen, seemingly out of nowhere.
  8. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    I've been reading up on some of these drugs the past few hours and it seems most of them don't even show up on home drug test, they seem very obscure. Maybe I should take him to a lab and have them test him?

    He also basically pays the car insurance. I mean it's in my name but he gives me the payments. He has always been pretty independent. I'm worried if I upset him he will just move out and live with a friend, his best friend, who is 18, has an apartment and I'm sure he would just move in. At least if he is at home I can keep an eye on him.

    I just had parent teacher conferences two weeks ago and they all say the same thing, that he is very bright and they love having him in class. We are pretty close, we always talk about how the day went after I get home. Like I said he is independent but he also is pretty open about talking to me.

    He has the same friends he's had all through highschool, his grades are good, he still does good in sports. He doesn't even "go out" that often. Maybe once a week if that, most of the time he is free he spends in his room reading or watching movies.
  9. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    Wow that does sound very similar. I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing as well.

    And about the whole ordering them off the internet thing....I also noticed he had a lot of empty envelopes on his desk which is odd because what kind of 17 year old nowadays get's mail? I mean he will occasionally order some packages on amazon but what is he doing getting envolopes with return addresses to like alabama?

    I might look into a lawyer consultation as well. I'm also worried that I could get in trouble if he has things in my house. I really don't want to end up losing my house because my son has drugs in it.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The fear of getting into trouble because Daughter had drugs in our house was a big reason why we finally had had it and made her leave. It wasn't the only reason, but it was a big one.

    It's your call, but I wouldn't let him have the car if I found out he was using drugs. He could be do9ing it alone when you think he's watching movies. I didn't think my daughter had time to do drugs. She was being homeschooled (this was after we found out). She was leaving the house through her window after we were asleep and she used drugs alone as well.

    Drug users are very sneaky. The kids we knew and trusted turn into these strangers...it is very sad. Since my daughter has quit, she is back to herself again. It is strange that nobody sees any changes in your son. I'll admit, that's a real puzzler. It does sound, by your description of what you have found, that he IS using drugs, but usually the kids change a lot while using them. Wow.

    Well, hang in there!
  11. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    That is like my daughter, too. She doesn't go out very often, except to her job, so I wonder if she does the drugs in her room, at her job, or not much at all. We are also concerned about reacting in a way that will put her on a worse path that she wouldn't otherwise go on, like moving out, quitting school, etc.

    In your first post, you said you were considering calling the police. We never considered that because again, that might start a path that might not otherwise happen. Lots of kids experiment with drugs and end up doing fine. For me, it was that it was LSD that was so alarming and shocking. The drugs you found are also in that category, in my opinion.

    I think a lawyer is a good idea. It sounds like your son has a lot of drugs in his possession. We learned that small amounts were mostly ticketed offenses in our area, so we haven't worried about our house at this point. The lawyer did not say anything about that. He talked to my husband on the phone first, then my daughter alone in the office, then my husband and me without her.

    I try to be the first to get the mail now. She had always said she "liked" getting the mail. Even though she will be 18, I will not hesitate to open any package that comes to her.
  12. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Wow. That's tough because he certainly seems to have his act together. When drugs become a problem, at least in our case, there were signs. Grades falling, seclusion, totalled 2 cars, lost 4 jobs... Maybe your son is dealing and not using?

    I'd probably run all of this by a police officer and see what they think, then take him to your primary care doctor (don't tell him you're going) and they can order any testing necessary. Request they specifically test for some of those substances you found. If he is using, get him into a rehab while you can. Once he turns 18, you can't force him to go. Time is of the essence.
  13. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    Hmmm I never considered the angle that he might be dealing.....that thought just makes me very nervous, do you think I should maybe search his whole room thoroughly to see if I find anything else?
  14. stalln4x

    stalln4x Member

    I suppose you ought to search his car as well not to mention the history on his computer and phone. You need to look for texts to drug dealers.
  15. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

  16. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    I feel really uncomfortable about this but I guess I will, I love him and want him to be safe.

    I'll report back
  17. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Where does he get his money to for his insurance? Does he have a job? If so, have you verified the job or physically seen him working there? Does the math add up? I mean, my sons insurance was outrageous (before his first accident) and with a 20 hrs week, minimum wage job there wasn't much spending money left over after gas & insurance. Do you see a lot of "things" he's purchased and wonder where he got the money to buy it from?!

    (No expert here, just tossing out things to think about!)
  18. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Don't know if this is true, but my daughter who once was saturated in drug world said that if you use, you sell. They go together. There is nothing pretty about drug use. And there are no ethics. She had a wide network and said she never heard of somebody who just used drugs without also selling them.
  19. Joe Lancaster

    Joe Lancaster New Member

    Oh my god.....I don't even know what to say....I can barley breathe right now.

    So I went through his room pretty thoroughly, didn't find anything right off the bat but then I decided to look under his mattress. I was moving the mattress to check underneath and I noticed something was moving around inside. I flipped it over completely and I saw that there was this square of fabric that didn't match the rest of the mattress material. I pulled at it and it had some sort of velcro stuff underneath so when I pulled it off there was a hole that went into the bottom of the mattress. I reached in and felt around and I ended up pulling out a shoebox, and my god....I just don't even know anymore....

    The first thing I noticed was the money....I counted out about $1,800 in cash, mostly $20's. There was also 2 cellphones that I've never seen before, both had passcodes so I couldn't look through them. It gets even more disturbing though. I also found a fake ID, it had his picture and a fake name, it was from a different state. I also found two debit cards that were issued to the fake name on the ID. On top of that I found some bank statements about wire transfers, one as much as $800. There were also various bank receits for some pretty decent sized withdrawls and deposits.......

    I'm just in complete shock right now. I feel like puking. Does this mean he is selling? I'm at a loss for words. I put everything back together in his room but kept the box and what was in it and put it in my closet, he will probably be home soon. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Do I call the police? Please help
  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You have a serious problem. He is dealing drugs. Is there any other adult in the home? You are going to have to confront him but I would want someone else there with you.