I was home today with a migraine and some really gross lower GI stuff (I hate that other word lol). Doctor gave me imitrex for the migraine. I know that it's supposed to be non-drowsy, but it knocks me out cold every time. The last few days have been a little difficult for me. Feeling very overwhelmed (have to move, finances - lack of them - health, work, kids, you name it), trying not to let it get to me and not being very successful. But still trying. A little background: Some of you may remember from previous posts how my son was before the heart attack how unsupportive - ok, outright nasty - my son was to me. Told me I was lazy, selfish and irresponsible. I was barely functional, my health was so poor. Doctor said I had Chronic Fatigue. We, of course, now know she was wrong. In April, I had my second heart cath followed by my second internal abdominal bleed (complication from the procedure). easy child knew what was going on. It's incredibly painful. The only pain medications I had was tramadol and tylenol...didn't cut it. I sat in a chair all night until 6:30 in the morning, Indian style and hunched over...it was the only position I could find that wasn't excruciating. I finally went to bed at 6:30 am. easy child again told me I was selfish, lazy and irresponsible. So, easy child got home from school today and I was asleep on the couch. That makes him mad. He calls Nana (my mom) on speaker so I can hear everything being said. First thing he said is that he wants to stay with her tonight. She lives 45 min away. Then he says the house is disgusting. There are 2 pans on the stove, dishwasher is loaded it just needs to be run, and while I was sleeping the dog got into the litterbox (ewww) and left a bit of it on the carpet. Told my mom I didn't go to work today. That may not sound like much, but he does these things to "tell on me" to my mom. He's always done this. Since he was little. If he got in trouble for something, he would call my mom. She takes his side. She did when I was so ill before the heart attack. I wasn't allowed to be sick. I was just judged. It hurts. AND he did this with his friend here. I sent his friend home and told easy child I was done. I'm done being concerned with how he feels. That's the only thing he is concerned about. I spent the last week consoling him over his dad and trying to figure out how I'm going to buy him a car. He can walk. And I cried. I may very well have lost my job today. I've missed so much work - not just since March, but the 6 months prior to, also. I can't seem to bring myself to care today. I'm rambling, I know. There is so much to say, but it would be a book. I just want to disappear. Find a rock to crawl under or a cave to hide in. I don't care where. Just somewhere else. Bleck. I'm whining, I know. I just feel like all my inner resources are gone.