If I keep laughing about this, does it mean I've completely lost it?

[flutterby]

Saw therapist today. difficult child completely denies any anxiety or panic attacks with her. Yet, when I ask her why she isn't working on coping skills in therapy, she says she doesn't know. She's playing us.

I told therapist about difficult child telling psychiatrist that she has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). therapist's eyebrows shot up.

therapist had gone over the criteria of all of the personality disorders with difficult child to see what difficult child thought she met with the criteria. Some of them she was right, some she denied and she so fits them, and others she said she fits and she doesn't at all.

Then.....



Are you ready?






difficult child told therapist she missed one.

I think I've completely lost it because I can't stop laughing about that.

difficult child told therapist she missed Schizotypal. OMG. (by the way, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is the one difficult child does NOT fit.)

Bottom line is difficult child meets the criteria for 7 - yes, 7 - personality disorders. I've decided I'm not calling it Mixed PD; I'm calling EFPD (every freaking personality disorder).

therapist said difficult child is the most difficult patient she has ever had, and that she loves her, but she feels like she isn't making any progress with her. We both agree that difficult child needs to be in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and she's going to see what she can do to make that happen.

Oh...and difficult child wrote in her journal that she takes to therapist every week that she wishes her entire family was dead. Yeah. therapist is going to be using that as leverage to try to get her into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

Me? I'm skipping through my meadow....

 

[tiredmommy]

It's all pretty surreal, isn't it?

 

[gcvmom]

Tra-la-la La-laaa! You have to laugh, Heather, or you will lose your mind.

 

[flutterby]

Surreal? Yeah, definitely.

I'm really questioning my sanity at the moment. I keep breaking out in giggles. And this isn't a laughing matter.

Oh, well. Better that than wanting to crawl in a hole and hide. That will probably come tomorrow.

 

[Marguerite]

Laughter is a release from tension. It can also be caused by a relief from tension. It doesn't mean all tension is gone, just that the level of tension has changed. That's why hysteria shows up as laughter.

At least therapist is seeing the need for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and isn't snowed by any of this. That has to be a partial relief for you.

Marg

 

[flutterby]

It is a relief, Marg, but whether or not we can make it happen is a huge unknown. therapist is going to contact some people. She also said she would work with psychiatrist (she calls her Minnie Mouse, which makes me giggle, too - she is very mousy - and therapist isn't a huge fan of hers). The facility that psychiatrist is at has inpatient facilities, but I have to research and see if it's short term crisis, or longer term.

 

[flutterby]

I just want to know how we got from severe anxiety to this? I mean, I've always known she is difficult, and I've always suspected a personality disorder.

But this? I can't wrap my head around it. I can't understand how it happened.

I was asked today if I have resigned myself to difficult child living with me for the rest of her life? I answered no, because I think she can rise to the challenge of living on her own. I have, however, resigned myself to the fact that she is going to need me constantly in order to do so.

 

[Shari]

If ya don't laugh, ya cry, so may as wll giggle.

Besides, if you've lost it, well, we can enjoy being lost together.

Hugs. Hope they can find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) soon.

 

[DammitJanet]

Ugh heather, I would be going bonkers too. She is really decompensating quickly. Or maybe she is just letting everyone really see what she really feels? Dunno.

Hope they can find someplace that can help her. Quickly.

I would refuse to give in to thinking she will always be with you. You dont need that with your health conditions. She needs to be able to live somewhere she can be safe even if its in a supported environment away from you. I think that will be important to both of you health-wise.

 

[JJJ]

I giggle at some of the craziness that Kanga brings into our lives as well. Kanga scores very high for: paranoid, schitzotypal, borderline, histrionic, narcassistic, avoidant, and dependent types; high for antisocial and OC types and moderate for schitzoid type. So, I'm going to borrow your EFPD diagnosis for her

We have to laugh, or we'll never stop crying.

 

[flutterby]

difficult child scored over the top for Schizoid, followed closely by Passive Aggressive PD, then Avoidant PD, Dependent PD, Borderline PD, and I can't remember the other two at the moment. therapist thought Narcissistic, but when we went through the criteria, she didn't meet it - close though.

 

[JJJ]

I like the new DSM-V personality disorder diagnosis - no more choosing just one.

 

[flutterby]

One of the other ones was Paranoid PD. I still can't remember the last one.

 

[KTMom91]

Wow...

 

[klmno]

I think I'd be laughing myself silly, too. And yep, it's a lot better then crawling in a hole and shutting down.

 

[flutterby]

JJJ, I looked into the DSM-V personality disorder diagnosis, and I find it rather broad and confusing. I'm also very tired and emotionally drained. And maybe I'm just too schooled on the DSM-IV criteria that it would be a hard adjustment for me.

My mom is totally freaking out about the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) possibility. She asked if they are going to drug her into a zombie. I told her it's nothing like the old 'mental institutions'. She then asked if I could live with difficult child hating me and visiting difficult child and having difficult child tell me she hates me and how could I do this to her. I told her I live with that everyday, and it's not my job to be a popular parent; it's my job to do what is best for - to give her the best chance at happiness and success at life that I can.

She is going to go with me to talk to therapist and said she's going to write down a list of questions between now and then.

easy child and DF are also going to go to therapist with me - on a different day - because they live here and there is a lot of resentment, especially with DF, and mental illness effects everyone in the family. I need them to understand what it's like to be difficult child.

 

[TerryJ2]

I'd be laughing myself all the way to the funny farm, like in that old song, "They're coming to take me away, haha."

So sorry doesn't even come close to the sorrow and empathy I feel for you.

You are absolutely right, in regard to your mom. You are doing what's RIGHT, not what feels good at the moment, because of guilt or shame or old parenting concepts that were based on "normal" kids. You GO!

Fingers crossed.

 

[Star*]

EFPD - coffee on my monitor now......THANK YOU FLUTTER. Only we could laugh and not get an ugly stare from another Mother.

Actually? One time, driving down the road after Dude had his jaw broken in half and needed surgery and, and, and, and....I looked over at a bumper sticker on a mans car as we were driving down the highway. I know what it say (Real Men Love Jesus), but my mind told me it said (Real Men Love Cookies) and I started to laugh hysterically. I laughed so hard, so long, so ridiculously that it scared DF and Dude. DF literally pulled off the road and was about to slap me to bring me back into some form of reality. I truly was loosing it. The bumper sticker wasn't funny. The brain just knew if my body didn't start something? I would end up in the nut hut. Had DF opened the car door on the side of the road? I would have rolled literally in the grass laughing and probably gotten arrested or hauled off. I could.not.stop. I couldn't stop because laughter is the bodies way of helping the brain reboot. Honest. When the therapist found out about it two days later? I couldn't laugh about a thing. I couldn't find anything humorous about it at all. Not even a snicker. Therapist said I was () close to a breakdown, but explained to me like I just did to you what had happened. Laughter like that? Is the bodies way of protecting the mind before your cheese proverbially slides off the cracker. No joke.

That's why crazy people in the movies in insane asylums are often seen laughing. They went over the edge...no joke. Like Terry said - YOU ARE doing what's right. You GO! I second that.

Hang in there - hugs.
Star

 

[DaisyFace]

Laughter like that? Is the bodies way of protecting the mind before your cheese proverbially slides off the cracker. No joke.

That's why crazy people in the movies in insane asylums are often seen laughing. They went over the edge...no joke.

Star

You mean my body is protecting my mind because I am close to the edge?

Shoot.

I thought I just had a really good sense of humor....

 

[flutterby]

Today? Not laughing. Not crying. Not angry. Not upset. Just completely numb.