Ohh Deni I so feel for you... When husband originally took pics of the kids, tapes of biomom etc. to the police they told him to drop it and if he didn't they would arrest him! And biomom has called the cops on him a lot of times, usually at times like after midnight which really messed us up for work the next day. He never got arrested because they could not prove a thing. A few weeks ago when difficult child 1 asked to call CPS so she could tell them what biomom had been doing, saying etc. they sent someone out to talk to her, but the woman didn't seem to be listening, then went to biomom and gee, when biomom denied... They believed her. because as she said "If I was getting in fistfights with her wouldn't I have scratches or bruises?" Hello... difficult child 1 hasn't seen biomom since beginning of February... She has flat refused to go. So even if she had had marks they wouldn't have been there. And last school year difficult child 2 said she had punched him in the head, had a goose egg and sore spot but no bruise. They wouldn't take husband's call, but when difficult child 2 told the school -- ! Sent someone out who couldn't "see" anything (never mind that we could see the lump and difficult child 2 showed the guy where it was), then the guy went and talked to biomom then called us and said, "She said she didn't do it, so I am closing the case." WTH?! Just before Thanksgiving we got the first real break, difficult child 1 had attacked me, then husband, and he was restraining her (trained how when he was in Police Academy) when the cops got there (he had called, then I did 20 minutes later in a panic because she was beating her head against his and she's a big girl - 5'3 and about 135 lbs.)... The cops arrested
her, like I said first break, released her back to us then at counseling the next day she said she tried suicide. No marks again (said she tried to hang herself) but they put her in hospital (ended up for 5 days) and that is when we found out biomom's boyfriend was abusing her. Since then she has not lashed out at us any more because she knows we believe her (so do the cops and CPS) and we have a CPO against him. Her behavior is SO MUCH BETTER now. But that's not your situation, just I do understand the fear and eggshell-walking, damage to the house, cops taking the other side, no one being willing to help. Honestly if I didn't have this board to vent to...
So I agree with the DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. We have well over 5,000 pages of documentation on all this and it looks as if husband will finally get full custody next week. And difficult child 1 is getting the counseling she needs and will be talking to the judge. You see, she wants, and I quote, "supervised visitation... AT MOST" with biomom. She's afraid biomom will find out that
difficult child 1 doesn't want to visit and it's not husband and me. Afraid????????? HMM.
Another thing. The police cannot take your child to a different church. You are still his legal guardian. You make the decisions. However may I make a suggestion? Let difficult child pick his church, even if you don't necessarily agree. At least he is going! My parents did this when I was a kid, they didn't go but I wanted to. Just tell him he can pick his own within X miles of your home. "Choices within limits"...
Just my 2¢...