Im thinking too much again!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Confused, Apr 5, 2015.

  1. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    I have been reading and every time I read, I just feel more and more "relief" of sorts Im not alone. I know I said this before here. I still ask myself why my kids? Why? But you know what? I think Im starting to figure it out, I hate any child/adult having to live with any health or mental problems and of course wish my kids can experience pure relaxation and happiness, no rages no sensory issues, just a normal life. As you all do for yourselves and your kids.

    My son asked me yesterday if Id ever have another kid and he wants a brother, daughter wants a sister. Well I explained to them Im too old and I already have two kids! My son asked if I could go back and have different kids if I would. "No, it may be hard with all of our different issues but I love you both and would do it all over again." He said "knowing what you'd get?" Yes, I said knowing what Id get. I meant it.

    Of course it hurts me to see my kids having issues, worrying about their futures, but I love them, their mine and yes, Id have them all over again. And another thing, yes, working is a good thing but I am very fortunate to have been able to spend the extra time I have with my kids by me not working! I wish I had money saved up, my own place by now, but, Im going to try to look at this as a positive experience from now on. Life is too short to lose any time with anyone. I have been so embarrassed about this, so low to the ground for not having that income, but we still have been fortunate overall. This will help me be who Im trying to be currently.

    Im thinking more and more what Id like to do for a career in the future( a job, any job, will do just fine until then!!) And I have a few things in mind, kind of an addition to the working with animals of course. Still going to learn computer programs etc, but, I just need to figure out how to get my career off the ground, and yes, it involves owning my own business or a partnership! Even if my own business never takes, I still want to be doing what I am thinking of one way or another.

    And yes because of my kids, my life, my thoughts, other people and their kids, the world issues if you will, I have been really going on this deep thought process. So if ( hopefully when) my plans pan out, Ill let you all know after my kids and dad know!!! ( don't want to jinx myself too much now by saying too much as I usually do)

    Yes, its been a rough day, but hey, arent most days in one way or another? I can have my relaxing minutes haha Sorry so long!!!!!!!!!!
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You sound in good spirits today! it's great to have something to reach for, that isn't just for our kids...
  3. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    He sounds like such a nice kid.

    This was a difficult topic, and you handled it so well!


    It comforts me sometimes to know there are those who believe we are here on purpose.

    Here on purpose, just as we are.

    The longer I live, the more I believe this may be true. As it is with evolutionary theory, the complexity of what is just cannot have happened by accident.

    There is another saying. Something about "at the touch of Eternity, we will know".


    They grow so fast.


    It is good to realize that the choices we make define the ways our lives will go. The trick is in really getting it, not just that we are the choice makers, but that there is no resting place. When the job doesn't come through or we don't see how to begin, it is really difficult to trust that we will find a way. We are learning to be okay with that. If we could only realize that, as Brene Brown describes it, "human beings are hard wired for challenge". You, me, your children, mine. We are hard wired to meet whatever the challenge of the day is.

    If we keep meeting the challenges, if we continue believing, not that we will succeed every time, but that we will do our best, we will win.

    You are doing so well.

    I love this way you are thinking, now.

    Great job!

    The Federal government runs a program to help women develop, fund, and begin their own businesses. Did you know that?

    In addition, there are organizations like Project Soar for women with children, women who have been out of the workforce and have identified the need for assistance in figuring out how to get back in successfully.

    I have a friend who, though she does not need the money, applied for low interest rate loans and grants to begin a woman-operated sheep farm. She is turning a profit, today.

    Additionally, if you begin watching for articles about strong women, or television shows about strong women, or just wondering how to be a strong woman yourself, you will call those things to you. Perhaps they are there, already. It helps us to see role models, people just like us, functioning with strength and integrity. Then we know we can do it, too.

    I am so proud and happy for you.

    You are seeing your own strength and realizing time passes and things change and that you will have all that you need and more one day ~ just not today.

    You are strong enough, and bright enough, and you have successfully faced harder challenges than beginning a business will be in mothering your children well and caring for Grandpa and dealing with recalcitrant family members.

    You are going to be just fine.


  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Great post. So honest and real. I wish you all the best as you venture into getting a career going. I have no doubt you will excel at whatever you set your mind to.
  5. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Thank you everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!