difficult child 1 is home on leave and has decided he wants to visit his bio mom. It happens every few years, he renews contact, things go well for a bit, and then she pulls her old stuff and it falls apart. Well, he wants to go visit today. His wife is absolutely mortified at the idea and has refused to go. I cant say I blame her, she was not even a half-way decent parent to difficult child 1 when he lived with her. Locking him in cars, exposing him to drugs and prostitution...no, I can't blame her. Bio mom has cleaned up, but its still not good by any means. The cycle continues, the kids are in and out of foster care, running away from home, calling the cops on their mother, or vice versa. So while it seems they are "clean"? They don't seem to be much closer to functional. So...difficult child 1 and his wife and son are 5 miles away from his bio mother's house. Bio mother's family is waiting on them. Currently, wife is refusing to go and refusing to allow him to take the baby. She wants my advice, and I can't give it, because it won't help. (fwiw? The visit today would be the easy part. It will be the continued contact. The expectation that they provide a place for them to stay whenever. The midnight phonecalls to take a sibling that's called the cops on mom again, etc...that's what I fear for them. That's what's been in the past. Just this last Christmas, 2 of the siblings tried to get money from difficult child 1...) And its supposed to be easier when they're grown? My heart breaks for both of them. This is one hope difficult child 1 just can't let go of - that some day his bio mom can be something to him. Poor boy.