Is he naive or an good person?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by A dad, May 10, 2017.

  1. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    SO my son instead of taking his vacation days ro visit us while an certain relative is visiting us meaning just a weekend he decided to let an newer employee take his vacation time because he needed it more according to my son.
    YOu see as my son has 2 jobs on one of them he is in the weekend.

    His colegue needs 3 weeks off at this time to do an seasonal job in agriculture.

    NOw here is the thing I believe he is taken advantage of. I do not believe his coworker lied but everybody has issues but there is an limit to the type of issue where you sacrifice your rights and this is not one of them in my opinion?

    SO is he naive or its an nice gesture and I am overreacting?

    ITs not a big issue but as I really lost my empathy about this things some time ago because of my job.
     
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    I think I'd look at it as he's trying to help the coworker. The coworker may be really short on cash and have a bunch of kids to feed. Your son thinks he needs the weekend more, so he made a decision. IF the coworker is taking advantage of him, he will soon figure it out.
     
  3. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    A dad, your son is doing fine in his 2 jobs. Wow. That is real progress for him. And you had such a fine time with him during your last visit on the holidays, as you previously shared with us. I do not think your son is naïve. With his new job on weekends, he may not want to use up his vacation days just yet, and if this other co-worker needs this time for 3 weeks, I think it is very generous for your son to postpone his own vacation. The other party may just reciprocate back to help him at another time.

    Here in the USA, it is common in some business firms for the employees to work out their vacation schedules among themselves and come to mutual agreements about the vacation time, to ensure there is still adequate staff present at work. Sometimes sacrifices are made, but in the spirit of understanding and sharing.

    I do not think anyone is taking advantage of your son. He seems very smart enough to stick up for what he wants to do, and to claim what is rightfully his, if he really wants to. He seems thoughtful and empathetic also to the needs of others. He has done so much on his own and worked hard and developed self-confidence since he left your home to go away.

    Maybe you are just a little disappointed, because you would like your son to come for the visit to your home while the other guests are there. I think you might wish that your son wanted to come back to visit you now also, instead of making a choice to stay back while another colleague takes the vacation. I understand how this may be disappointing to you, but we need to let our adult children make their own decisions, and often times their decisions do not put us first in their lives and wishes.

    I know you are very proud of this son and want the best for him. Why don’t you express that to him, and tell him you understand how he wants to help a colleague who may have a greater need at this time, and that it is quite thoughtful of him.

    Your son sounds like he is doing well in growing mature and responsible. You will see him again before too long. He is going to be alright! Best Wishes to you.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    A Dad, you have a fine son. Two jobs. Wow. Why not just be Proud Dad and he will visit you at a better time. He will. You are both good men.