is it depression along with anxiety?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jesshas?s, Sep 10, 2008.

  1. jesshas?s

    jesshas?s Guest

    my 6 almost 7 yr difficult child has anxiety. She has been in preschool since age 2. She has sep anxiety (school, church birthday parties) and still just as bad as it was when she was younger. She doesn't know this but my husband and I have thought she is a worry wart since she was little. She worries constantly about everything. She gets easily frustrated and will lash out on herself. Hits her head with her fist as hard as you can imagine. She will put her hair, slap the **** out of her face and say I hate my life. I hate myself. Screaming crying and say that she is a jerk! A dummy! A bully! So mean to herself and expects way to much out of herself. She is a perfectionist also. Everything has to be just so! If not, she's not good at it and she can't do anything right. She has always masterbated. I think its comforting to her. At almost 7 yrs old we are having to remind her that isn't something you do when you are around others. She will lay in the floor while her and her sister are watching a movie and begin to do it.

    We praise her always and try to use positive reinforcement with her.

    I am beginning to wonder if her anxiety has brought some depression on board now too? What do you all think?

    One reason I am so afraid is if she is doing alot these things to herself at 6, what will she be doing to herself as she gets older if its not helped?
    Lasted edited by : Sep 10, 2008
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow. Has she ever been evaluated by a neuropsychologist for possible high functioning autism/Aspergers? How was her early development? Does she socialize well? Any delays in her development? in my opinion she should be evaluated for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). That can make a kid afraid of new places, afraid of transitions, very frustrated, and they sometimes do lash out at themselves. My son did when he was young. He has gotten so much help, he's doing great, but I'd look into it. An evaluation by a neuropsychologist will be helpful no matter what they find or don't find. She may well have anxiety and depression, but it sounds like something more is going on. Even depressed kids don't usually hit themselves or scratch themselves...Masturbated a lot IS a stress reliever. It can also be a stimulant. does she do anything else to soothe herself, like rock, or make high pitched noises, or click her tongue or flap her arms...? Any obsessions about any topics that seem over-the-top?
  3. jesshas?s

    jesshas?s Guest

    we have seen a mental health psyc. and she said difficult child was very intellligent and capable of handling whatever comes her way. She said that she sees children with much worse behavior everyday!

    I was enraged when I left that place. My difficult child is extremely embarrssed of her behavior and has people fooled because she will not act in such a manner except at home. She is the most well behaved child at school and will has told me that she is scared to get in trouble in front of other people. She fears a lot! Terrified of toilets that flush automaticly. She will have a panic attack if she is made to use one. (for example- long road trips)

    We also seen a couselor for about 6 months and she said she thought difficult child had ODD and would grow out of it. UGH!!! people just don't get it!

    Early dev was great. She is smart as ever! We noticed her easily angered and frustrations right before she turned 3.

    Socializing is a major problem for her. At the pool this summer she said she wouldn't play with other children because they would think she is wierd. She says people won't like her. She only likes to play with me.

    So sad for me to hear her say that!
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is sad that the "experts" so rarely acknowledge that children can be so burdened with anxiety. It really can impair their lives and their functioning.

    Has she been evaluated by an Occupational Therapist (OT)? The Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation done by a school will only focus on things that affect academics. I think that your daughter might be helped significantly by a private Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation for Sensory Integration Disorder or other sensory issues.

    One of the things my youngest had a huge problem with was feeling worthless if he couldn't do anything right. He has many sensory problems and is a very anxious child (always was). I was AMAZED that the FIRST time we were exposed to brushing therapy for sensory integ disorder he immediately started feeling more able to handle things. Brushing hterapy, and other Occupational Therapist (OT)/sensory therapy has made a HUGE change in his anxiety level. It has increased his confidence, decreased his fear and anxiety, and made him a much more pleasant person to be around (FAR less clingy).

    i recommend the book, "The Out-of-Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz. Even if the Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation is mixed I recommend "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun" by the same author. The first book explains Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and sensory issues. the Has Fun book is packed with activities to provide the sensory input the child needs. Most of the activities are actually fun, easy to do, and can be amazingly affordable. It was far and away the cheapest therapy we ever used with any of our kids. It also had surprisingly rapid results.

    As for masturbation, it is quite normal for a child your daughter's age to masturbate. It is comforting, as you guessed. Most kids have to be worked with to remind them that it is something you do in private. As you know, it usually works best just to remind them that we only do that in private, or some other low key reminder.

    I do think further evaluation will be helpful, and neuropsychologist evaluation can pinpoint things because it involves a number of hours of testing, sometimes more than 12 hours worth (but not all at one time). School can provide some evaluations, though generally private evaluations are more thorough.

    Welcome to our corner of the web. I am sorry you needed to come find us, but glad you are here with us!

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wouldn't you like to just tell the therapist off? I'm sorry you heard that. I was a VERY phobic child. I was scared of bandages at age 4, nosebleeds at 6, throwing up at 11...the list goes on and on. Unlike your child, who has good self-control, I couldn't hold it in at school and the kids would call me "crazy." So, trust me, I sympathize! I do think an evaluation is a good idea. Sadly, she obviously already feels like she is different. I can relate as I did too as a child (if it makes you feel better, I could care less what anyone thinks of me Many things could be going on. I would skip the talk therapists for now (jmo) and go to a neuropsychologist for an evaluation. I don't think a neuropsychologist will trivialize your concerns and you could get some real insight as to why your daughter is so afraid of things. And then you can start getting her help that will make her life easier. It's NOT fun being a phobic child or feeling different. Poor little girl. I really feel for her.
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Anxiety and depression commonly go together. My child was born anxious. Literally.

    Did you see a psychologist or psychiatrist? A good child psychiatrist might be a good place to start.

    Welcome to the board.