Is there a benefit in letting my daughter visit her mom in jail?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by I1924, Jun 11, 2017.

  1. I1924

    I1924 New Member

    The charge is a forgery charge and it is a sevem month sentence main problem I have is she will see her mom in jail clothes and see guards and other inmates that could be intimidating I have a daughter who is 15 and she seems to be handling it fine. I told her right away about it and she reacted pretty calmly. I told her mom did the wrong thing and is rightfully serving her punishment. Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? They have a good relationship.

    Main problem I have is She will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit She will see other inmates and women behind bars The guards could be intimidating Is that ok for a 15 year old to see? Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. Interestingly they have a good relationship

    my wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea
     
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I think at 15 daughter is old enough to see her mother in jail. Can you talk to her mother and convince mom to explain to her daughter that she did something wrong and this is what happens when you break the law?
     
  3. seasky

    seasky New Member

    I think if your daughter wants to go and her mother wants to see her then bring her to visit. If you don't then your daughter might get angry and think you're keeping her from visiting her mother. It's a difficult situation I to would be concerned if I were you but at 15 she is mature and knows her mind surely seeing prison guards and a prison will show her it's not a good place to end up it. Good luck hope all goes well
     
  4. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    Kids should learn about reality. Don't shelter them from facts so they only live in a world of make-believe fantasy. It is reality and a fact that if you violate the law, there are consequences. She will need to know these things when older (to hopefully stay out of trouble herself).

    So yes DO take her and talk all about it. Make it a learning experience.
     
  5. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I went to visit my step-dad when he went back to prison when I was 15/16.

    It didn't have any adverse affects on me, as far as I know.

    I mean, we knew he went back to prison. That was the worst part.

    I actually enjoyed seeing him.

    It was a nice Federal Prison, and the parts that I saw were actually better than where we lived at the time.

    No, the worst part was my mom crying on the way home.

    But visiting him there?

    For me, it was a good thing.

    Appl
     
  6. Exhaustedmommy

    Exhaustedmommy New Member

    Go for it. Sheltering her will just anger her plus seeing what happens when you break the law might deter her from making the same mistakes. Her being excited is normal. It's a situation she has never seen before. Thinking it's funny is normal however indicates she is not thinking about the reality of the situation or that inside she scared and hiding that fact by joking. Take let her see it but sit down with her after you get back home and ask if she has any questions about it.