K
katt261
Guest
Hello again all, I'm so glad I found this place, it is at least a virtual outlet to my inner screaming on a daily basis...
Following on from my initial posting about the difficulties I am facing with SO's difficult child, there are a few things that I don't agree with, in particular stuff that SO allows his 9 year old difficult child to do, and considering difficult child has the emotional and mental age of a 5/6 year old, I'm not sure why SO allows this to be honest. I'll list the things that bug me and await your input into whether I'm being too strict in my views or whether these need to be addressed:-
1. difficult child is allowed to play Call of Duty war games on Xbox, these games being specifically aimed at a target audience of 18+. difficult child has regular nightmares. Has been excluded from school for threatening to kill his teacher, trashed the classroom, ripping up all of his little friends' school work and throwing things around the classroom. He was excluded on another occasion for sticking pins in another pupil's leg. He was excluded on another occasion for biting other class mates. The list goes on with regular exclusions involving some form of physical assault on other kids. Is this as a result of watching violent video games per chance? I went through the video games and chose only those suitable for a child aged 9 - to which result I was made to feel the evil stepmother yet again because 'all kids play COD' - all kids don't have the mental problems that difficult child does though!
2. difficult child is not fed healthy meals by SO, even though I have 'suggested' quite nicely that we could do with more vegetables and less junk food in the house. difficult child has chips with almost everything and even after a particularly bad day when his behaviour is out of control, he always gets 'pudding'(dessert) or otherwise he erupts into another tantrum. difficult child is severely overweight, is extremely obsessed by food, SO's reaction to this is 'well I can't starve him' whilst continuing to feed him adult-sized portions.
3. On the rare occasions that SO allows difficult child to play outside on his scooter, and is warned to stay within the confines of our cul-de-sac, there have been several occasions when SO has fell asleep on the sofa (don't get me started on that one!) leaving the parental responsibility in my hands. On the last occasion, difficult child went missing, it had turned dark, and when I woke up SO worried about difficult child's whereabouts, SO got angry with me for waking him up (!) we then found difficult child in the park, alone, climbing trees! I've since told SO that as he is the full time 'carer' of difficult child, that 'caring' involves staying awake at all times to supervise difficult child until it is difficult child's bedtime! Unreasonable?
4. Lastly, difficult child's attitude towards his older easy child sibling who is 17. Nasty, to say the least. This is a mirror image of how SO treats his eldest child so no wonder when we get the professional psychiatric's reports back stating 'difficult child has 90% negative thoughts about his older sibling' it breaks my heart. I stay in this house to support the older sibling, otherwise he'd be all alone in this dysfunctional set-up.
Rant over.
Now tell me that I should just shut up and put up (as my SO keeps telling me to do) with difficult child's condition. I swear, if I hear the words 'he can't help it, it's his condition' I will scream! There are no excuses for WILLFUL bad behaviour, condition or no condition!
Following on from my initial posting about the difficulties I am facing with SO's difficult child, there are a few things that I don't agree with, in particular stuff that SO allows his 9 year old difficult child to do, and considering difficult child has the emotional and mental age of a 5/6 year old, I'm not sure why SO allows this to be honest. I'll list the things that bug me and await your input into whether I'm being too strict in my views or whether these need to be addressed:-
1. difficult child is allowed to play Call of Duty war games on Xbox, these games being specifically aimed at a target audience of 18+. difficult child has regular nightmares. Has been excluded from school for threatening to kill his teacher, trashed the classroom, ripping up all of his little friends' school work and throwing things around the classroom. He was excluded on another occasion for sticking pins in another pupil's leg. He was excluded on another occasion for biting other class mates. The list goes on with regular exclusions involving some form of physical assault on other kids. Is this as a result of watching violent video games per chance? I went through the video games and chose only those suitable for a child aged 9 - to which result I was made to feel the evil stepmother yet again because 'all kids play COD' - all kids don't have the mental problems that difficult child does though!
2. difficult child is not fed healthy meals by SO, even though I have 'suggested' quite nicely that we could do with more vegetables and less junk food in the house. difficult child has chips with almost everything and even after a particularly bad day when his behaviour is out of control, he always gets 'pudding'(dessert) or otherwise he erupts into another tantrum. difficult child is severely overweight, is extremely obsessed by food, SO's reaction to this is 'well I can't starve him' whilst continuing to feed him adult-sized portions.
3. On the rare occasions that SO allows difficult child to play outside on his scooter, and is warned to stay within the confines of our cul-de-sac, there have been several occasions when SO has fell asleep on the sofa (don't get me started on that one!) leaving the parental responsibility in my hands. On the last occasion, difficult child went missing, it had turned dark, and when I woke up SO worried about difficult child's whereabouts, SO got angry with me for waking him up (!) we then found difficult child in the park, alone, climbing trees! I've since told SO that as he is the full time 'carer' of difficult child, that 'caring' involves staying awake at all times to supervise difficult child until it is difficult child's bedtime! Unreasonable?
4. Lastly, difficult child's attitude towards his older easy child sibling who is 17. Nasty, to say the least. This is a mirror image of how SO treats his eldest child so no wonder when we get the professional psychiatric's reports back stating 'difficult child has 90% negative thoughts about his older sibling' it breaks my heart. I stay in this house to support the older sibling, otherwise he'd be all alone in this dysfunctional set-up.
Rant over.
Now tell me that I should just shut up and put up (as my SO keeps telling me to do) with difficult child's condition. I swear, if I hear the words 'he can't help it, it's his condition' I will scream! There are no excuses for WILLFUL bad behaviour, condition or no condition!