I hear and feel everything you have said here CB. I blame and shame myself. I then get angry and resent the whole situation. We have had our fiscal hiccups (lost a business venture) but by no means are we financially unstable. We have traveled extensively with our son. And we have probably enduldeged him but did not soil him. He always has a warm and loving disposition. It makes me wonder if his warmth and soft heart made him more vulnerable? But I look at the collection of his drug friends and I see no common thread in terms of parenting or social economical status. They come from low income single parent homes to mansions along the lake front with stay at home moms and working dads. No rhyme or reason to it. Accept they they all appear to be sensitive and likeable kids extraneous to their drug problems. Evan spent the night out at a friends. He is 18 he did what we asked and informed us. I didn’t sleep well and today is drug test day. Sigh. Wish me luck.