I'm new and I'm really getting desperate. My daughter is 5 and 1/2 and her attitude is really out of control. It's difficult to explain, because people like to comment on how "good" she is because she's not the kind of kid who has ever colored on the walls or torn things up or been disrespectful to our family and friends. The problem is that the way she treats me and my husband is just beyond our comprehension and we don't know what to do with her anymore. I'm going to call a family therapist in the morning and see if maybe they can help us, but I'd like to hear what you expert parents have to say as well.
Examples of her behavior include repeatedly refusing to do things she's asked to do, which I understand can be normal at her age, but this isn't just a case of ignoring us. This is her flat out screaming "NO!" at us over and over again, until she ends up in time out. Then refusing to go to time out. Then refusing to sit quietly, sometimes winding up stretching the whole process from the 5 minutes appropriate for her age to 20, once we get her to the chair and get her to stop screaming at us. She's recently begun telling us to shut up, which I can't even begin to understand, because my husband and I never talk to each other that way - NEVER - and obviously we don't talk to her that way, either. Another new thing is that she's begun hitting or kicking us whenever she's angry, particularly on the way to time out. She's also begun insisting that we are calling her stupid or idiot, which we have never and would never do. For instance, if we try to talk to her about her behavior, she screams, "Stop calling me an idiot!" When we tell her we aren't and wouldn't, she then says, "But that's what you mean." This one is probably the most baffling. Whenever we try to talk seriously with her about her behavior, she closes her eyes, crosses her arms and says, "Hmph!" and turns her head away, all very snottily, so talking to her about her behavior is pointless, as attempting to do so only causes her to act that way a few minutes longer. Additionally, she seems to hate pretty much everyone. She constantly talks badly about her cousins. When we're out at a playground or something with her and another child tries to play in the same area as her she insists they're trying to make it so she can't play and tells me they're stupid. She generally won't interact with them at all.
We do homeschool, but I honestly do not want one more person to tell me that's her problem. For one thing, she's 5 and 1/2 - not even old enough to be required to be in K in my state. In fact, she barely made the cut off, so it's not like she's screwed up from 4 months of homeschooling. For another, she's been this way for about 2 years now - it's just gotten worse and worse. I've tried telling my husband her behavior wasn't normal for at least that long and he's only just today come to agree that maybe it's not. It's not, is it? She's an only child, but I'm expecting a new baby in April.
She honestly seems like the most unhappy little girl in the world and I can't understand it. I've just spent the last hour crying my eyes out because I feel like I have to have majorly failed her somewhere along the way. We don't spank and never have. We try to be consistent, but we so often feel like we're walking on eggshells around her that sometimes it's easier to ignore her behavior than deal with it - especially when it's never anything destructive or dangerous to property, just to our relationships. It's hard to determine sometimes which will be worse for all involved: ignoring her screaming at us and walking away or dealing with it and knowing it will turn into a 45 minute episode of her screaming and saying she hates us and we hate her.
She does not act this way to other adults - only us.
Examples of her behavior include repeatedly refusing to do things she's asked to do, which I understand can be normal at her age, but this isn't just a case of ignoring us. This is her flat out screaming "NO!" at us over and over again, until she ends up in time out. Then refusing to go to time out. Then refusing to sit quietly, sometimes winding up stretching the whole process from the 5 minutes appropriate for her age to 20, once we get her to the chair and get her to stop screaming at us. She's recently begun telling us to shut up, which I can't even begin to understand, because my husband and I never talk to each other that way - NEVER - and obviously we don't talk to her that way, either. Another new thing is that she's begun hitting or kicking us whenever she's angry, particularly on the way to time out. She's also begun insisting that we are calling her stupid or idiot, which we have never and would never do. For instance, if we try to talk to her about her behavior, she screams, "Stop calling me an idiot!" When we tell her we aren't and wouldn't, she then says, "But that's what you mean." This one is probably the most baffling. Whenever we try to talk seriously with her about her behavior, she closes her eyes, crosses her arms and says, "Hmph!" and turns her head away, all very snottily, so talking to her about her behavior is pointless, as attempting to do so only causes her to act that way a few minutes longer. Additionally, she seems to hate pretty much everyone. She constantly talks badly about her cousins. When we're out at a playground or something with her and another child tries to play in the same area as her she insists they're trying to make it so she can't play and tells me they're stupid. She generally won't interact with them at all.
We do homeschool, but I honestly do not want one more person to tell me that's her problem. For one thing, she's 5 and 1/2 - not even old enough to be required to be in K in my state. In fact, she barely made the cut off, so it's not like she's screwed up from 4 months of homeschooling. For another, she's been this way for about 2 years now - it's just gotten worse and worse. I've tried telling my husband her behavior wasn't normal for at least that long and he's only just today come to agree that maybe it's not. It's not, is it? She's an only child, but I'm expecting a new baby in April.
She honestly seems like the most unhappy little girl in the world and I can't understand it. I've just spent the last hour crying my eyes out because I feel like I have to have majorly failed her somewhere along the way. We don't spank and never have. We try to be consistent, but we so often feel like we're walking on eggshells around her that sometimes it's easier to ignore her behavior than deal with it - especially when it's never anything destructive or dangerous to property, just to our relationships. It's hard to determine sometimes which will be worse for all involved: ignoring her screaming at us and walking away or dealing with it and knowing it will turn into a 45 minute episode of her screaming and saying she hates us and we hate her.
She does not act this way to other adults - only us.