It has been thirteen years!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, May 31, 2013.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm having an "ah hah" moment. Many of you have not been around for a decade or more but it has been THIRTEEN years since my precious kid fell off the edge. TODAY, officially, I wrote him a check for under three hundred dollars and said " you are a MAN and I am no longer your savior". I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I have, as of today, detached. Truly I do not know how to describe it. I love this messed up kid with my whole heart BUT as of today I must be through. I will no longer "save" him. I am determined to no longer "invest my soul in his life". Without a doubt today is the most profound day since I became a Mom in 1960. It is "beyond" weird. I so hope that I can move on with no burdens and responsibilities for my children or my grandsons. It's been a long road and I don't regret my choices at any stage. on the other is over. He knows I still love him! DDD
  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    Bless you DDD....sort of your Independence Day.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    He will ALWAYS know your love, DDD.

    You have been such a precious member of this board for so so many years. I sure hope you will stick around with us...I for one ALWAYS need your care, your special touch here on the board.

    You know how I feel about you. If my grandma lived past the age of 13 for me, she would have been just like you.
    I was her "favorite"...I always knew she had a special place in her heart reserved only for me. You are that way for easy child/difficult child too...close to his heart no matter what.

    DDD, I agree with American Girl.
    It's time for you to celebrate your Indepence Day.
    Love to you, Always,
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was here DDD. You are one awesome lady. I know the feeling of finally handing their life over to them. While I'm still somewhat involved in difficult child's life it's nowhere near what it was and sometimes I am so overhwelmed by the freedom I now have.

    Your difficult child is so very lucky he has you in his life and he knows this. You have nurtured him and walked the path with him to adulthood. You have patiently stood by him and taught him the life skills he has today, the skills that will allow him to be a man and take charge of his life. Sometimes it takes longer for our difficult children to get to the point of independence. I see that with mine, she is beginning to understand the lessons that I tried to teach her years ago.

    Congratulations on a job well done!
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I am very happy for you. You've been fantastic to difficult child. I hope you continue to post here. You've provided great inspiration and support to everyone here.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was here, too. You have worked long and hard to ensure he has an independent future! CONGRATS to you! Your success is proven in your ability to detach now. I am very, very happy for you!
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, I was here too and its been 14 years for Lord how time flies. I dont think we ever thought we would make it through to the other side. I know I didnt. If someone had told me that one day I would be sitting in NC and one kid would be in VA and the difficult child would be actually working and supporting his family halfway across the country I would have thought they were delusional. You never stop loving them or being their parent/grandparent. Thats just who you are.