I have to tell you that I go into Christmas with a light heart today unlike I have known before. I know that not everyone is ready for the level of detachment from my family and my children that I have brought to my life, but I feel that it is important for me to say that if you dread every holiday and just don't fit in with your family, that just starting absolutely fresh may actually be the right thing to do. We arrived here in April, and I knew no one. I still know very few people compared to the number of friends I would usually list. I couldn't put a party together to save my life, but I don't care. We put up a tree for the first time in what must be 8 years. I bought gifts for husband and wrapped them and placed them under the tree. We've both been sick the past couple of weeks, but are on the mend. He had done a couple of household things for me and we were going to call that "Christmas", but deep down I knew it wasn't right. Saturday I sat on his knee and told him I wanted some gifts to open on Christmas morning, and he smiled and asked me what I wanted. I told him I need new gloves, some perfume, and a pretty sweater would be nice. There are three pretty packages under the tree for me. I have a rib roast in the oven, and a couple of neighbors are coming for dinner. I'm not anxious about who is or isn't coming for the holidays, because no one really is. I'm not anxious about being left out of anyone's holiday because it's absurd to think that anyone would invite us. No one knows us, and we're too far from anyone who does know us. We might go to see a movie tomorrow. M is with his fiance visiting family in CA. It's his first real trip out of town on his own as an adult, and he seems happy. Good for him! L is married to her wealthy man and I'm sure she's happy as a clam showing off her wonderful new home and life. Good for her! husband and I are lounging around making all of our favorite foods and the dogs are full of benadryl to keep them somewhat calm when people come. I can't think of a better Christmas. My best wishes to all of you and your families.