I've been in a funk lately. Some things have happened that took me on an abbreviated roller coaster ride but like always it ended up at the bottom. I almost wish I wouldn't hear from difficult child at all, but then when we go weeks without word I worry too. husband and I feel into the trap again beginning with her call that she was sick and ending with husband filling her gas tank and giving her $40 for food because she was hungry which she promptly spent at the bar drinking all night and passing out in a blackout at home. Anyway we once again learned our lesson, we allowed ourselves to feel sorry for her.
So tonight I went to my parents meeting and the subject was expectations. Two of the women there are nurses and they both commented that they deal with patients everyday that have serious diseases, cancer, diabetes, kidney failure. They said these patients fight so hard to stay alive and to get better and if you told them there was a way they could get better they would grab it in a heartbeat and yet their loved ones have a disease and they don't fight at all and how angry that made them and they both said they don't understand that kind of disease. That really hit me.
My difficult child has a disease. This disease is chronic, progressive and fatal if not treated, but there is a cure. And difficult child will not fight.
I am sick of this disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. The one mom said to her son that she was sick of living with this disease and she had no expectations of him any longer and so he should just go and do whatever it is he is going to do because his 90 days sobriety just didn't mean much to her. It was raw emotion and yet I so understand what she is feeling.
Nancy
So tonight I went to my parents meeting and the subject was expectations. Two of the women there are nurses and they both commented that they deal with patients everyday that have serious diseases, cancer, diabetes, kidney failure. They said these patients fight so hard to stay alive and to get better and if you told them there was a way they could get better they would grab it in a heartbeat and yet their loved ones have a disease and they don't fight at all and how angry that made them and they both said they don't understand that kind of disease. That really hit me.
My difficult child has a disease. This disease is chronic, progressive and fatal if not treated, but there is a cure. And difficult child will not fight.
I am sick of this disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. The one mom said to her son that she was sick of living with this disease and she had no expectations of him any longer and so he should just go and do whatever it is he is going to do because his 90 days sobriety just didn't mean much to her. It was raw emotion and yet I so understand what she is feeling.
Nancy
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