Well, it's been almost 2 years since I was here last. It's been a rough ride. I probably wouldn't have experienced my downward spiral had I continued to participate on this Forum. So in truth, thats why Im back. Ive managed to slither into a kind of depression that I cant seem to shake off without a glass of wine every night when I come home from work. My difficult child is rocketing into puberty now at 12 years and its a constant battle to get him to wear deodorant, bath, brush his teeth you get the picture. His emotional maturity is still at an 8 or 9 year olds level, so why should he care if he smells? His medications are constantly being adjusted during this time of emotional influx and hes managed to pack on some poundage. After my difficult child was placed in the schools ED (Emotionally Disabled) program in 6th grade, he made the Honor Roll every grading period. This did wonders for his self-esteem. 7th Grade, however, hasnt been as easy. He has realized that he is in a Special class at school, but he doesnt seem to dwell on it too much. There have been ZERO suspensions and ZERO incidents of hurting himself or acting out in class. I truly think that he felt so different in the regular classroom that he acted out in socially unacceptable ways in the hope that others would like him. (Just a theory) My difficult child is extremely negative and constantly complains about school. There have been mornings where he has physically acted out his dissatisfaction by punching or elbowing holes in our plaster walls. A lot of our darkness right now comes from our Ohio winter. Its just not enhancing our moods. Mornings are always full of drama. Temper tantrums over not being able to get his socks on has resulted in me putting them on for him every morning. I know this isnt the right thing to do, but I find myself just not wanting to pick that battle. On the other side is my husband, who is very much like my difficult child or is it that my difficult child is very much like my husband? I find myself in the middle of their battles at times and think to myself lately that Id like to just run away in order to stop the load of stress I place on myself over their actions. Its not even that they argue often or about serious things. It just tugs on me physically now to witness or mediate it. When my difficult child gets explosive or angry about something, I physically feel it pulling me down. We all just really need for Spring to get here.