Just down in the dumps

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Got2Sleep, Mar 30, 2007.

  1. Got2Sleep

    Got2Sleep New Member

    Does anyone ever want to give up? I am so tired of dealing with him day to day. Today alone, the F word has become his word of the day! Just for no reason other than to hear it said I guess. He is saying it out of anger, when sad, when fine, whenever he feels like it. I have taken pretty much everything away from him today alone.

    He is hitting and throwing things like crazy! We are on the last day of spring break(THANKFULLY!) and I know part of it is the structure of school is not here, but give me a break!

    On a good note, anxiety seems better today. I can actually close the bathroom door without him melting down. But, rainy outside, so we are all shut indoors and stir crazy is putting it mildly.

    And, he keeps pulling down his pants and trying to pull down older brothers as well. He is not doing anything further than that, but...I dont think it is the hypersexuality, just being defiant I guess. This started yesterday.

    The other kids are sick of him, I am sick of him, heck, I think HE is sick of him. Poor guy!

    Thanks for listening..off to have a few minutes of "me" time and get a much needed haircut! ALONE!

  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am with you... sorry. Our spring break just started and we have 2 weeks!!! And we get to fly to Chicago!!! On a trip I don't want to take!!! difficult child is already super anxious and now we have to travel... she doesn't even know yet!!!
    husband just took her to the dumps which she was excited about, but for about 45 minutes prior to leaving while we were loading the truck, she was convinced it would be nightime by the time they left... she was getting very amped up and pacing and perseverating. It is so annoying. We had to stick her and her sister in the truck and just let them sit there... whining. I don't even remember how many times a day I have to say hands to ourselves.... soft hands, don't touch your sister!!!! She is just grabby and very touchy... agressive. OVERBOARD

    ugh... hang in there.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    Have you gotten hold of The Explosive Child yet? I ask because you sound so at your wit's end. We've all been there. We had to change how we consequenced after she lost everything (I literally stripped her room & stopped her activities). We started focusing on changing a few specific behaviors at a time and we've been much more successful this way. She's also a much happier child now.
    As for the pants thing we his brother, I'd be inclined to think it's a potent mixture of curiosity coupled with a lack of boundaries and control seeking. Try to give his brother somewhere else to be for a few hours this weekend so that he gets a break from his little brother.
  4. Got2Sleep

    Got2Sleep New Member

    Yes, I read have read and re-read it as needed. We do try to implement boundaries and structure, but when he is unstable..well, nothing seems to work.

    He has stopped being so aggressive this afternoon but has turned back to sad and sullen. Nothing is making him happy and he wont let anyone else be happy either.

    As for letting the other kids have some time off, yeah that would be great, but..just not going to happen. husband is working all weekend and most other family are out of town as it is the end of spring break. SO...we tough it out.

  5. Got2Sleep

    Got2Sleep New Member

    UGH- I will keep you in my thoughts as you have to travel...I know how much NOT enjoying the trip makes it so much worse. Hoping you can find a few bright spots during it!

  6. Ltlredhen

    Ltlredhen New Member

    I am sorry things are out so bad for you right

    Around here the favorite word is "Sh i#"! :nonono: And yes, he knows that's not a word he can say. Whenever it comes out of his mouth, he will respond "I'm just saying it to the _____ (toy, shoe whatever makes him mad). Guess he thinks this makes it better.

    Don't mean to overstep my bounds here, but your difficult child sounds so unstable. Is he on any medications?

    Hang in there,


    P.S. I sent you a Private message (go to the top menu and click on My Stuff to find it)
  7. Got2Sleep

    Got2Sleep New Member

    He is on medications, and he is NOT stable. But, our doctor in Texas has said what he needs is a 90 day involuntary stay. We live in NM, so he suggests we find alternate care. So...we are really on our own at this point. We do still have our psychologist(6hrs away), but the hospital he is affiliated with WE WILL NOT go to. been there done that.

    I never got a PM though...nothing shows.

  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Is this child getting any interventions for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified? My son has that and everything your child is doing could be related to his autistic spectrum disorder. I wouldn't be so sure he's being defiant just to drive you all nuts, although I know it seems that way at times! What kind of professional does he see for the autism? medications don't help autism. They can deal with some symptoms, but the kids really need a lot of early interventions. My son had tons of them before he was even a year old! He's doing great now, but he was a handful at your son's age. You don't want to disregard this part of his diagnosis. A psycologist doesn't generally know what to do for any form of autism. I recommend a neuropsychologist to evaluate him and point you in the right direction. You can find them at children's and university hospitals. My son had the same laundry list of diagnosis. that yours does now, but, when everything was dissected and stripped away, his big problem was the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. He doesn't HAVE bipolar, and has no meltdowns at all these days, although he did as a toddler. He was very frustrated! Good luck (I'm in a small town--we had to travel for help).
  9. Got2Sleep

    Got2Sleep New Member

    Thanks. NO, he isnt getting any help other than some interventions at school(still waiting for the autism specialist to see him) through Occupational Therapist (OT). Honestly I needed your post because I do over look this part and focus more on the BiPolar (BP) issues.

  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm not saying he doesn't have BiPolar (BP), but my son was diagnosed with BiPolar (BP) and he doesn't have it. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and BiPolar (BP) mimic each other, especially with the raging. I would definitely have him see a neuropsychologist to maybe sort out what is what, and I'd have yearly evaluations too because things change. What looked like BiPolar (BP) at a young age with my son (and ADHD and ODD too) turned out to ALL be because of his autism. He got worse on medications, not better (zombined out a bit). He's been medication free for three years and is actually a mellow couch potato now. He used to swing from the chandeliers, bite himself, bite us, etc. Without his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) interventions, he still may have a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis. My son clearly doesn't have ADHD/ODD or BiPolar (BP), but it looked like he did when he was younger. Tread carefully and make sure you have the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) interventions in place. They can only help. If you want to post on an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) board, send me a PM and I'll get the address. The kids act a lot like your child because that's part of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Is your son having any speech delays? That was my son's biggest frustration. He talks well now. He never shuts up!!!! Is there any chance your very gifted twelve year old who seems self-centered could possibly have Asperger's Syndrome? These kids can and often are brilliant, but socially clueless and very "me" oriented because they can't understand other people well. They also tend to have obsessive interests (like computers, lots of techies are Aspies--see Bill Gates). Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) runs in families. Just thought I'd ask. Not all ASDers have behavior problems. About half do.