Just Need To Vent

Lately I've been thinking how strange my life really is. I know that "normal" doesn't exist with difficult children but being on vacation with them for a week really made me think...

difficult child 1 was miserable the entire trip because he didn't have his computer. He has absolutely no regard for anyone but himself. Here is one minor example - When getting out of the pool, (his hair is almost down to his shoulders, thick and curly), he shook (Sp???) himself out all over a group of women trying to sunbathe. difficult child 1 was only happy when playing with his gameboy.

difficult child 2 was surprisingly well behaved - only one major "melt-down" at the house we were staying at, and 3 - 4 small ones in the car on the way home. However, he is so strange!!! All he wanted for his 15th birthday was the Curious George movie on dvd. We bought it for him and he took it with him. He also brought a few picture books of monkeys. He was happiest when he was watching Curious George over and over again or looking at the monkey pictures over and over again... All anyone has to do is say the word, "monkey", and difficult child 2 will smile and break out into laughter.

Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 needed to be on schedules in order to stay glued together. Either husband or I had to watch them at all times. difficult child 2 insisted that the kitchen timer be set for exactly 10 minutes every time he brushed his teeth. When we were leaving the house we had to give difficult children the schedule for the day, including approximate meal times, shower times, etc...

All of this just makes me so sad... I'm so TIRED of living with difficult children!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!! I'm tired of tdocs, psychiatrists, etc...

I'm a very private person and resent the intrusion of psychiatrists, tdocs, etc... I know they're necessary because of difficult children, but I want my privacy back!!!

I just keep trying to see the rainbow at the end of the storm...
I just keep telling myself that someday difficult children won't have to live with me anymore... The problem is that I know I can't just toss them out. I'm banging my head against a brick wall trying to get difficult child 2 appropriate services through the school system. I really can't afford an advocate or an attorney at this point and there really isn't much free help in my area.

Well, I think I've vented enough for now. Thanks for listening. WFEN


I was going to say it sounds like you have PTSD and then you mentioned it at the end of your post. My difficult child 2 has similar feelings and reactions to her older sister (difficult child 1). In fact, a small incident 2 weeks ago is what probably sent her to the adolescent psychiatric unit for a week (just last week!)

Her therapist has made it clear to me that she cannot advance in therapy as long as her sister is allowed to be part of her life. I had to kick difficult child 1 out of our house in order for difficult child 2 to be able to have a chance at being healthy emotionally.

I see this relationship with your brother's ex as being toxic to you--no right or wrong, it just is what it is. Also, she is venting and complaining to you but not doing anything to change her situation. What good are you actually doing her? It sounds like it is just too harmful to you to maintain contact--good for you for standing up for yourself. You really do need to take care of yourself and the relationship is way too stressful for you.

Take care,


Okay, so I replied to the wrong thread!!! Sorry, hope this is read by the right person!!!! I'm not as nuts as I seem...

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Oh I can so relate-vent away any time. Many hugs to you. :flower: Please find some time alone to do something nice just for you. :bath:


Active Member
Sometimes the special days bring out the pain of difficult child's in the family more than run of the mill days. Sending hugs.