Juvenile court again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nancy, Feb 27, 2008.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's been building. There was no school yesterday so she was gone at 2:30 to this punk freshman's house (the younger brother of the guy she was caught snorting adderal with two years ago). When she got home she tried to dress and go sled riding but I took the keys to her car with me while I picked husband up at the airport (who cut his trip short because things were falling apart here). I asked my brother in law to go to the house to make sure she didn't do anything crazy. Then started two hours of her calling on the phone and texting me with vulgar demands to turn around and bring her the keys.

    When we got home in a driving snowstorm she began smashing drinking glasses all over the kitchen floor and taunting us asking what else she should smash. I called the police. They came, took her cell phone and told me to lock it up, read her the riot act and she just sat there and smirked and was very disrespectful to them. They wrote it up and left. As soon as they were gone she demanded her cell phone back and began pushing husband. I called the police again but she ran out of the house before the police got back. She had no coat and just a sweatshirt in blizzard conditions.

    Now they write it up as domestic violence and go looking for her. I got a call about an hour hour later from her friend's mother who said she walked there, about 1 1/2 miles away. She asked if difficult child could sleep there to allow everyone to cool down and I agreed.

    This morning there was no school again and she called at 8:30 demanding belligerently that I give her phone numbers from her phone. She said she was never coming back to this h*llhole. When the juvenile detective called and I told him she was there and the mom went to work and she refused to come home he sent two offcers to escort her to the station. We went in and filled out a report. They are sending it downtown and will do an intake on her. So back to juvenile court we go.

    I read a couple months ago that we have a new program for mentally ill and substance abusing teens to get them treatment and help instead of jail and I'm hoping that's what they put her in. He wanted me to give a lot of information about medications she is on and what we have tried in the past with therapy and what we think triggered this.

    by the way she had not had her medications in 4 days and said she is never taking them again.

    The detective put her in jail while he talked to us and then went to talk to her alone. He brought her to us about 45 minutes later and she was crying....major breakthrough. He told us to take her home and he would be in touch and we would get a letter from juvenile court in the mail.

    We took her home, she was quiet and subdued and went up to her room where is she been sleeping ever since. We did get her to take her medications today.

    The detective said he has never seen two more whipped parents then us.

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. This is so very hard. I hope the breakthrough lasts. I also hope juvenile court is able to help.



    ps. Good job taking the car keys and calling the police. I know it is hard.
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh Nancy,

    I'm so sorry. I really and truly had my fingers crossed that she'd turned the corner for good.

    I'm glad husband was able to be there for you - bless supportive partners. Glad detective was supportive as well.

    I hope this reigns her in, but I'm just sick that you all have to go thru it.
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    This turn of events must be such a time of despair and disappointment. She was doing so well....

    I'm so sorry.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    When I saw the title of your post I sat here thinking OH noooo not Nancy, not court again. I am so sorry for your struggle with her. She's such a beautiful kid and she has it in her to do such great things. For now her idea of doing great things is dragging her already haggard Mom through the muck and mire again, and again.

    I hurt for you friend - you've tried everything and then some.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Nancy, I am so sorry that she has chosen to go back down a road that will only lead to more trouble. Hopefully, it is early enough that intervention will help. A big hug for you and a kick in the rump for difficult child!
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Nancy, I am very sorry to hear that difficult child is turning to the dark side again.

  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so very sorry. Saying many prayers.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Hugs Nancy. Lets hope this time they keep her long enough to really scare the poo out of her.
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    After reading your post on the drugs, this one makes sense. I am so, so sorry.

    Your daughter will be my prayer for the addict who still suffers.
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh man I am sorry... Do you think the medication refusal is making her worse??? I know K coming off of of some stuff quickly, flipped her out!!! Talk out about destabilizing.
    Not that that fixes anything.
    You are not Whipped... you are trying to not leave a child out to become a statistic!!!
    There is a huge difference between rebellion, And a difficult child with issues.
  12. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey toto, I do think the medication refusal certainly helped escalate the problem but it's been building before that. I think what the detective meant was that we are wiped out, he said he's never seen us so down. We all thought she was doing so well, him included and we all feel as though we have been stabbed in the back.

    She has taken her medications the past three days so hopefully that will help stabilize her, but it will do nothing to change the behavior that has gotten her into this latest trouble.

  13. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member


    No words of wisdom just gentle hugs for your weary heart. :(
  14. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Just wanted to say I'm sorry she's taken a wrong turn when she had started back on the right path. Hope this will point her back and that she realizes what she's started getting back into is not going to put her anywhere good for her future. {{{{HUGS}}}}
  15. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Awww, Nancy, I'm so sorry to read this. Yes, I too wondered if she had slid back again after seeing your question in Teens Forum, but had hoped it was info for someone else. Ughhh. I know how hard it is, especially after she had been doing so well.

    Sending hugs,
  16. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member


    Sounds like my story a few years back. Very draining and sad. Remeber, where there is life, there is hope. Sweet Betsy told me just the other day that what made her turn the corner and come around, so to speak, was when I let her problems be her problems and no longer made them mine. That and time and maturity. I'll pray for the best.


    Mrs. McNear
  17. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I can remember the feelings of despair and of being beaten down. There seems to be no end to self sabotage and self destruction on their part.
    I'm sorry for you, husband and easy child for having to get on the rollercoaster again.
    I think you did the only thing you could do.
    She may appreciate the ****hole you provide for her over the one's the county will provide at some point.
  18. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    So sorry things are not going well. I hope it is short-lived.