"Kill them" he urged her

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jun 22, 2009.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    At Kanga's psychiatrist appointment, she shared that her voices were encouraging her to kill us all during her family visit this weekend. Lovely.

    The nurse and I both praised her for not listening to the voices and not killing anyone. We both then started laughing because it was just so ABSURD. Praise for not committing murder, that is what we are reduced to???

    therapist was informed immediately and, thankfully, this seems to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. It looks like therapist is going to call off the return home in August and set a new date of January.

    We still have to get through the quarterly review in July for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) funding but that is suppose to be relatively easy with therapist being the one leading the charge (of course, when has any of this ever been easy.)
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Is it ridiculous the things we find ourselves laughing at in this journey?

    I'm so glad she didn't kill you, too. Kudos, Kanga?....

    At least she's not being released in August.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Kudos for not murdering her family in their sleep. Hmm.....now THERE'S a goal chart I'd like to see! Each gold star = a feloneous, physically damaging act not performed. When you get 25 stars....you get a ....a....um...car?

    But it IS a good thing she didn't try to act on the voices. And an even BETTER thing that the doctor has finally caught up. Good luck on the funding review although I would hope that having a patient with voices urging her to commit murder would be a no brainer for an extension.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I think that only parents of difficult children can appreciate that kind of humor....

    I am SOOO glad that the punchline was not "So then therapist said she probably didn't mean it and we should stop over-reacting to every little thing."

    Thank goodness somebody else is paying attention!!

  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    JJJ, I'm so sad, but the way this thread is going, I'm chuckling. Mstng, LOL!
    How sad for your little one. Sigh.
    It sounds like she's in good hands, though.
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    We've had a few of those tdocs. One probably wasted an entire year of Kanga's life because she was convinced that it was mother-daughter conflict and I needed different parenting skills. In fact, I ran into her last month and she was shocked that Kanga ended up in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I just laughed and told her that she'd been hoodwinked by Kanga and she was free to look at the file if she wanted to see what finally came out when the new therapist didn't 'blame the parent'.

    Thankfully (???) Kanga had already gone off on me in front of two different staff members including the therapist so they were ready to hear this and that she told it to psychiatrist and not just to me in a private conversation.
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Good for Kanga for sharing those thoughts. Can't do anything about them if docs don't know about them.

    When difficult child was at his worse, his body would tell him to kill me. He didn't want to but knowing that he had those feelings were very important. He was totally afraid that one day he would be unable to say "no" to those feelings. He was already having a hard time fighting the self harming thoughts.

    I often think about how many people (kids included) do not feel secure in or have anyone to share their feelings and voices. Those people who seem to "snap"? How long have they been fighting off these unwanted thoughts and words when finally not being able to take it anymore they follow through in an effort to find an end to it? Have they tried telling someone? Were their cries for help unheard or ignored by someone not knowing how to handle it?

    Good job to those who are really listening to Kanga's needs.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    WOW! Voices like that are scary to hear about. It must be much more terrifying to hear the voices and also to be the target of the voices.

    It really IS a good thing that Kanga told you and the other person. She must really trust you to keep her safe if she is telling you about them.

    It seems she trusts you to keep her safe from others and herself, and to keep her family/friends safe from her. Think how terrible you would feel if you acted on voices like that and then later were stabilized and had to live with the knowledge that you did such horrible things.

    I was often afraid Wiz would end up with a lifetime of guilt (and a short life as he would be suicidal) because he was so out of control that he hurt or killed someone. As it is he has a LOT of guilt for things he did before the psychiatric hospital and before we moved him to my parents. IT takes a LOT of trust to tell someone about the voices. And you only tell people who you think will keep you safe.

    Wiz is learning to move past the guilt, and to accept that we love him no matter what, even after he hurt us. I pray that Kanga is somehow stabilized enough to work through this.

    how do the other kids feel about changing the release date?

    I am glad the therapist is now on board with not sending her home in August.

    I am so sorry that she is hearing voices though.
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so grateful for people that get the laughter, that another group of people might find totally inappropriate :) I could SO relate to that part.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im glad they are listening.

    However, I would love to be a fly on the wall as they write her goals. "Kanga will work to reduce her impulses to kill her family from X times a week to Y times a week for the next 3 months."
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry, however, I am glad they are taking it seriously and will be keeping her longer. Hugs.
  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Pffft. I shouldn't have read this thread while drinking! Now I have to clean the computer screen. That could be a good goal, I'm going to suggest it LOL
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry JJJ....I have just recently been working on writing goals and they always sound so darn lame. Really! Mine are something like "Janet will strive to reduce her anxiety in social settings by isolating herself less by 5 times a week to 3 times a week." pfft. What the H does that mean? I go nowhere except therapy, doctor appts and the store.
  14. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    JJJ, both Zoloft and Vyvanse can CAUSE hallucinations, especially in a teen who is already prone to them. Furthermore, you still have room to go up on her Abilify dose if necessary. I'm glad the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is keeping Kanga longer, but it's really going to be near impossible to make progress unless her medication combo is right.
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry to hear she is hearing voices. I am sooooo glad she spoke up! Can you imagine not knowing she was thinking that? Yikes!
  16. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Smallworld - Her hallucinations were much more severe without the medications. The psychiatrist did up her Abilify to 17mg. She's not a great responder to medications. Prior to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she was on enough Geodon to choke a horse and all it did was knock her out so she got some sleep -- she alternated between being asleep and in full hallucination.

    But heck, if we lose our drug coverage on July 1st as scheduled, she'll be off of all but Abilify because we can't afford the others.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. This has to be terrifying for you. I am praying you keep her medical coverage and medicine coverage.

    I hope that someday soon she will be healthy and able to function outside the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

  18. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I hate what mental illness does to a family. It has to be such a sad and scary realization that MI has Kanga in it's grips and she is hearing such commands. I hope whatever the cause is that a treatment can be found so she can have some sort of life and you don't have to live in fear.

    The humor is the only way to get through this stuff. It's just so over the top that no one could get through it without humor.