Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DDD, Jul 2, 2011.
I started thinking about it last night and decided to ask this morning. DDD
I had called them about a week or so ago, I think, then I poked around some more on their web site and printed some things out that I sent to difficult child with a letter telling him what PO's current idea is, although I'm not sure this PO has validated that as a viable option yet, and explained a little about what I learned about Boys Town. I also told difficult child it was his decision but based on what I'd learned so far, I would support it if he wanted to go. I received a letter from him yesterday saying he was interested but had a few more questions first and he relayed those to me so I can find out the answers. He also asked for a couple of more printouts and photos from their website and thanked me for trying to make this work. I'm going to compile a list of difficult child's questions with additional questions I have, then call them back to get some more information. Once I get the additional information to difficult child, which hopefully will be next week, I will ask difficult child for a final decision then start trying to figure out what hoops I have to jump through to get Department of Juvenile Justice to allow a psychiatric to get in there to give difficult child an evaluation (required by Boys Town application), and Department of Juvenile Justice doesn't normally allow this when it isn't for an IEP or them doing it themselves for processing at intake. I don't want to stir that up and talk to difficult child's "old" therapist (psychiatric PhD) about cost and scheduling until I know for sure that difficult child wants to pursue this and will stick to it. I wonder if a therapist is ethically allowed to do an evaluation interview over the phone if he is familiar with the difficult child and has previously evaluation'd him?? That would be a lot easier to make happen and cost a whole lot less. Boys Town also requires a social hx be a MH prof but said they would accept the one from the IEP. I don't know if difficult child's social hx from last year's IEP re-evaluation will be recent enough for them though but if it's not, maybe I can talk the school district psychiatric there into updating one and sending it to me. They said the psychiatric evaluation had to be less than 6 mos old.
Thank you for thinking of us!!
How is your world going with your grandson?
FWIW, I talked with Boys Town at one point in our journey, and found the people there remarkably kind and empathetic. I decided not to go that route, but they were very helpful and offered some good suggestions for dealing with difficult child. They did not blame, or suggest behavior charts, or any of the usual stuff we often hear from "professionals." Keep us posted.
I don't envy you trying to travel that fine line of not offering it to difficult child but having to offer the idea to him. It must be very stressful for both of you. Glad to read the update and am still crossing my fingers that it's a possibility. DDD
As long as it's a safe place and they really do what they say (instead of being like MST which professes to do so much only to really just be a typical behavior contract), I would be fine with it, given difficult child's age. Still, with difficult child's Department of Juvenile Justice and parole status, it won't be that easy. It will take me going to court to get approval more than likely.
But koi, I found out on Thurs. that I might have to go to court over difficult child's restitution anyway. His deadline for having all $4000 (nearly) paid off is Dec. 1 of this year, even though he's incarcerated. Being that I'm his parent, I am legally responsible. However, the clerk said since I have now paid over 75% of it and difficult child is now 16yo, I have valid reason for saying he should pay the rest himself. The problem is that he can't as long as he's incarcerated. So I either have to go to court to explain that or just pay it off myself by the deadline established in his file. And I'd have to request that hearing before the judge in the jurisdiction we used to live in, where the restitution was ordered, not where I live now. I'm thinking I'll just pay it but am going to wait unjtil the 11th hour to make a final decision. I have to go back there the third week off Nov. for another dr's appointment so I figure I'll go to the courthouse then and either pay it off or request the hearing. I'll decide on the drive over. LOL!
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