Knew it was too good to last

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TeDo, Nov 19, 2012.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Yea, I should have known. Ex has a habit of not paying child support. He's over $60,000 in arrears. We've actually been getting money (FINALLY) for a little over a year now which was nice when I wasn't working. Now that I'm back to work and starting to make a small dent in the bills that are WAY overdue, he decides to quit his job (or he lost it) and we are going to have a VERY bare Christmas. It hoovers that he can have nothing to do with his kids (no phone calls, cards, visits, NOTHING for 10 years) and not feel bad about it not to mention not pay anything to help support them. It must be nice. I wish I could just walk away and know that someone else will take care of them. Yea, I'm feeling sorry for myself. I know there are parents that get no support whatsoever EVER for the kids but it still irks me. I should know better than to trust that he'll ever pay anything and budget with that in mind but I really was naive enough to think that since he's been paying for over a year that it would continue. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!

    Vent over.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs...I hear you. Useless Boy's enabling mother finally started paying the child support once we got close to the "pay up or go to jail" stage. It's frustrating to say the least.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry. Not getting support sucks. Do you live in one of the states that are very active about child support? I mean the ones that will go after him and put his butt in jail and take away his licenses over it? Some times they dont give that much of a potter's damn about their driver's license but go after that hunting/fishing license and you get their attention.

    I dont know if you get any services through the county such as medicaid for the boys but if you do, tell them immediately because they will go after him so fast. They will watch for him to get another job before you will ever hear of it. The new employer has 30 days to report it to child support. As far as the boys and Xmas, contact one of your local agencies that are helping people with this sort of thing this year. Call Social Services or the Salvation Army, they should be able to point you in the right direction. Dont feel badly. Lots of people have had to ask for help, I did a few times when my boys were younger and we were making only enough to keep the actual bills paid with nothing left over for holiday's.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm sorry, Tedo. Can you go after him to get the support? I know that costs money to do it. I think it's odd that he quit his job just when you start working and are able to start making a dent in your bills. Some men are so vile.
  5. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    That really hoovers - I'm so sorry. Hopefully this is short-lived and he'll get back on track.
  6. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    Tedo, it sucks. I know how that goes. difficult child's sperm donor has never seen him and owes tens of thousands in arrears in child support. The state won't do a dang thing about it. And to top it off when he does pay for a while and then stops I get the same way you do and rely on it in the budget. He hadn't paid in over a year and in March started paying again, in August he changed jobs and I didn't get any support for 6 weeks and the way the state has it set up the first payment has to be over 30 days late before they will even check to see if he's switched jobs or what is up. Good luck.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    KTmom, his parents have NEVER acknowledged the boys. Glad something worked for you. I wish it were that easy here.

    Janet, I live in one of the states that is aggressive about it but he isn't. He lives in Texas and the most they have done so far is deny him a passport (IF he ever wants one), deny school financial aid (IF he would ever want to go), and intercept his tax refunds (IF he would ever get one). If he were here, he'd have been sitting in jail for years already. We are on Medicaid so that isn't a problem.

    Bunny, the state I live in is going after him but he lives in a state that is very lax about child support enforcement. I was told a long time ago that it is VERY hard to get the state of Texas to cooperate with our state.
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Cubsgirl, his NOT paying is the norm. I just can't believe I let myself believe that he'd actually continue after a year. I let my guard down and now I'm paying the price.

    lmf, I live in the same state as you. Our county office is aggressive about going after non-payers. I just wish this was just a glitch, but I have a feeling I won't be seeing anything again. He usually works as an "independent contractor" so there is no "employer" to take it out of his pay. When he's not doing that, he's not working at all and letting his mommy and daddy support him.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Well I can tell you--------if you live in some states? You can get the DSS attorney to charge INTEREST ON THE INTEREST........and SISTER...........that is NO FUN to pay in arrears.......(especially on a lying manipulative 34 year old child that actually GOT the cash) but her millionaire mother did not.

    Now off soapbox.....and now done paying.

    Oh and found x didn't have to pay child support by Dude told me a couple of months ago he has prostrate cancer. I guess he did take it up the wazoo afterall. (meant the exam) (sorry.......sorry.......delete it if you must but after working 3 jobs for 15 years it's my only.......never mind......) NOT NICE STAR. :itwashim3:
  10. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    Tedo, I wish my county would push it. Of course, he moves around the country and as a truck driver with his own truck is also an independent contractor. For a while he drives for a company in his truck and then will decide to drive for himself for a while. I wish the feds would take his DOT number away and his CDL and then he'd be the one who lives with nothing. But, he's got a child (now an adult) 7 years older than difficult child and has been playing this game for many years.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    My sister (also in the same state ) has received small checks from time to time then he quits and moves. Also owes tens of thousands . He lives with one of his baby mama's and supports them off the books while she collects welfare and gets a ton of assistance. My nephew and a child in Wisconsin get nothing. My sister went so far as to draw a map for them to go get him but they still said they couldn't find him. Ramsey county has been nothing but rude to my sister.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Last year people here suggested toys for tots. It was so nice and I even volunteered for them. Does your town have organizations that sponsor families. A friends daughter works at a bank and they do that including getting a tree and providing holiday meals. Worth a shot.....
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Who said that someone was living with baby momma and they were getting assistance and he was working and blah blah blah?

    Oh heck NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That was my field and that is what I thrived I went after those cases like I was a blood hound. I actually staked out houses all night long to see daddy dearest come and go, got witness statements from neighbors, went to daughter's work and got his job application with his address on it, and did so many other lovely things and was known to be sitting on his front porch when he got home from work.

    You would not believe how many welfare recipients have cussed me out from across my desk when I cut out their checks because they were committing fraud and I made mommy pay the money back and hauled daddy over to child support and into the court room to deal with the judge. I didnt play.

    Call the fraud unit. If you have to call your states office of the Inspector General. That is who is over all the fraud units in the state. We were certified nationally ..oh lord let me remember what my national license National Welfare Fraud Inspectors. We had to take tests yearly do to that job. You cant just say...oh well, so sad, too bad. And yes, I actually took my test in TX and I went to a conference in MN so I know that it is in effect in both those states.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh Janet, as I said, she took the addy and drew a freaking MAP for them to go bust them and they wouldn't do it. He has several kids with that chick and lives with her. (Sister of course didnt know about her nor the other half sibs to my nephew that were out there....when she was with the jerk)

    We live in a metro area and its not like he was hiding in the woods! It's so maddening.