So I had everything set up...
The instruments were gone. I left a note that said in very large letters "It feels terrible when something you love is missing. That is how WE feel every time we cannot find YOU."
I didn't know whether difficult child was going to come home after school, or go straight to her job - but I was taking no chances. I locked the house up tight, left a bad with work clothes in it on the porch and LEFT.
Meanwhile, I told husband everything and I told him he was NOT NOT NOT to have a big discussion with her. (And I am SO angry with him right now!!!)
I should have known he was gonna be a waffler because he was saying "Well, I just wanna know where she was...". I asked him whether he thought he was going to get the truth. Did he REALLY think she was gonna tell him who she was with? And he was talking all tough that if she tried to call for a ride today - he was gonna tell her to WALK.
So - while I was out, difficult child came home from school and grabbed the bag with the work clothes and left her backpack on the porch instead.
When husband found the backpack on the porch, he carefully carried it in and put it away for her. I reminded him AGAIN there was to be no big discussion. And at that point, he was still talking tough.
So phone rings later - difficult child wants to know if she can have a ride home? Well, husband jumped right up - sure thing, honey....I'll be right there! ????? Oh well, he explained, I really don't want her walking in the dark.
He brings her home - she is about to go into her bedroom and husband comes charging in to find me and basically yells in my face "It's gonna hit the fan! Are you making me handle this?" to which I said YES.
At that point difficult child comes tearing out of her bedroom screaming and swearing. She is yelling that she missed the bus (so clearly, she is under the impression that we only noticed she was gone when the schoolbus stopped at the house and she didn't get on). husband absoluely loses it and screams that he doesn't want to hear it because he has work to do!!!
Then he comes back to MY bedroom and screams at me and tells me that I am un-supportive and he doesn't appreciate my behavior.
What????
So I go sit right next to him and ask him what it is he wants me to do. Nothing. What do you mean? Well, now he wants to yell at me some more that difficult child is upset and it's not fair to HIM. HE wants to have the big discussion and get to the truth.
Meanwhile, difficult child is having a rage in her bedroom. She is screaming, yelling, ranting and raving - we can hear things slamming and banging...there is pounding on the walls.
That lasted several hours into the night - but difficult child never physically confronted anyone....so we did not call the police. Finally, things calm and we were able to try and sleep (yea, right).
This morning, difficult child was still madder than a wet hornet. Her bedroom is a mess - but there is not any damage to walls or anything so that is good.
In response to my note - she wrote a note of her own:
You Know what, I'm okay with-you taking them even though I thought I missed the bus, but I swear to all the divine if I never see them again because you've permanently gotten rid of them then you'll never have to see me again. But then, I guess that's what you've always wanted, getting rid of me.
So...my husband is mad at me and my daughter is trying to emotionally manipulate me.
Any ideas what I should do next?
The instruments were gone. I left a note that said in very large letters "It feels terrible when something you love is missing. That is how WE feel every time we cannot find YOU."
I didn't know whether difficult child was going to come home after school, or go straight to her job - but I was taking no chances. I locked the house up tight, left a bad with work clothes in it on the porch and LEFT.
Meanwhile, I told husband everything and I told him he was NOT NOT NOT to have a big discussion with her. (And I am SO angry with him right now!!!)
I should have known he was gonna be a waffler because he was saying "Well, I just wanna know where she was...". I asked him whether he thought he was going to get the truth. Did he REALLY think she was gonna tell him who she was with? And he was talking all tough that if she tried to call for a ride today - he was gonna tell her to WALK.
So - while I was out, difficult child came home from school and grabbed the bag with the work clothes and left her backpack on the porch instead.
When husband found the backpack on the porch, he carefully carried it in and put it away for her. I reminded him AGAIN there was to be no big discussion. And at that point, he was still talking tough.
So phone rings later - difficult child wants to know if she can have a ride home? Well, husband jumped right up - sure thing, honey....I'll be right there! ????? Oh well, he explained, I really don't want her walking in the dark.
He brings her home - she is about to go into her bedroom and husband comes charging in to find me and basically yells in my face "It's gonna hit the fan! Are you making me handle this?" to which I said YES.
At that point difficult child comes tearing out of her bedroom screaming and swearing. She is yelling that she missed the bus (so clearly, she is under the impression that we only noticed she was gone when the schoolbus stopped at the house and she didn't get on). husband absoluely loses it and screams that he doesn't want to hear it because he has work to do!!!
Then he comes back to MY bedroom and screams at me and tells me that I am un-supportive and he doesn't appreciate my behavior.
What????
So I go sit right next to him and ask him what it is he wants me to do. Nothing. What do you mean? Well, now he wants to yell at me some more that difficult child is upset and it's not fair to HIM. HE wants to have the big discussion and get to the truth.
Meanwhile, difficult child is having a rage in her bedroom. She is screaming, yelling, ranting and raving - we can hear things slamming and banging...there is pounding on the walls.
That lasted several hours into the night - but difficult child never physically confronted anyone....so we did not call the police. Finally, things calm and we were able to try and sleep (yea, right).
This morning, difficult child was still madder than a wet hornet. Her bedroom is a mess - but there is not any damage to walls or anything so that is good.
In response to my note - she wrote a note of her own:
You Know what, I'm okay with-you taking them even though I thought I missed the bus, but I swear to all the divine if I never see them again because you've permanently gotten rid of them then you'll never have to see me again. But then, I guess that's what you've always wanted, getting rid of me.
So...my husband is mad at me and my daughter is trying to emotionally manipulate me.
Any ideas what I should do next?