Lent Vent

[nvts]

Got a question for you.

difficult child 2 had a major meltdown at school on Friday. He's turning 9 this month and is trying on an "attitude" (which is pretty amusing, because he doesn't have a "snotty" bone in his body). After spending about 10 mins. lying that they must have given D's point record to him by mistake, he finally came clean about the issue.

Seems that the kid asked for a peanut butter sandwicch rather than the burger that they were giving him.

Now here's the question: Even though I'm not sure if the issue is about lent and fasting from meat on Fridays, they still violated his rights. Do I write a letter to the teacher, the principal or both?

I can't stand that they are constantly inviting meltdowns by the way they act and are surprised at the reaction!

Thanks!

Beth

 

[Hound dog]

Do you think it was honestly about lent or fasting from meat on fridays........or a kid trying to pull a stunt and getting away with it?

If you think difficult child was not trying to pull a stunt and cop attitude.......then yes, I'd complain. Otherwise......no. Regardless of his timing, he still was trying to pull a stunt and cop attitude.....using lent or fasting on friday would be a cover excuse to do so. You complaining would show him it worked.

Just my opinion and how I'd handle it.

Hugs

 

[nvts]

Hey Lisa! I agree with where you are coming from! That's why, no matter what I decide, the letter would be sent in with difficult child 1~! HAHAHAHA~! They wouldn't have a clue!

Seriously, if it was difficult child 1 with the issue, I could see him coming up with this, but difficult child 2 is the sensitive one - academically brilliant, but has a really tough time expressing his "problem" when something upsets him (hence the meltdown rather than just telling them what was wrong - he'll tell you a month later "remember that time I got upset?" - I always want to say "which time?").

Ordinarily, I would say "nice tantrum", but the night before he and difficult child 3 asked me why they shouldn't eat meat tomorrow and we had a HUGE discussion about it (mostly because they were trying to drag out bedtime!).

Ugh. I hate this sometimes!

Hugs back at you!

Beth

 

[Andy]

What is the policy for your school on this? Does there have to be a letter from the parent giving permission (or asking) for the student to request a non-meat entree?

If so, time to talk to the kids and say, "I understand that you decided to have PB sandwhich for lunch. I don't have a problem with that, however, the school needs to know ahead of time so they can prepare enough sandwiches for everyone who is going to request it. I am sorry this happened today, however, we do have to follow the lunchroom policy. So, if you would like, I can write a note for you."

If not, then a letter requesting an explanation why your child was denied the request so that it can be avoided in the future.

 

[Hound dog]

Beth I put it the way I did because.......Nichole would've pulled that stunt just to get the peanut butter sandwich. Travis would've done it because I had explained it was the right thing to do.

I had something similar happen to Travis over his medicine bag he wore. He made the mistake of telling someone who'd asked what was in it......tobacco and some other things.....a spiritual thing, very important to him and our beliefs. But somehow word got to principal and next thing I knew I had an 8 yr old melting down who never did at school.

Principal and I made a compromise. Tobacco was replaced with sage and Travis still got to wear his medicine bag. But principal got a earfull about stomping all over someone's spiritual beliefs. lol Although I saw his point. He couldn't allow tobacco in the school, period. Travis had had his medicine bag so long I'd never given what was in it a thought.

Hugs

 

[nvts]

That's great! I love a great story like that! You made my night!

Part of what I'm wanting to talk to her (the principal - great lady - she's done a lot for the school!) about is the number of people that seem to "goad" (sp?) these kids about - and then are amazed that a meltdown comes into play. According to both of the kids (difficult child 1 & 2) there was a tray of "PBJ's" right there. They were just used to 2 always picking a burger. The NYC school system has no advanced warning policy - it was just someone with a wild hair you know where - that didn't want to swap out the plate. I have to say, it's not the 1st time they've told me this, but I pick my battles with the school too.

OMGosh! It's 11:15 and the baby's still asleep. I'm waking her up for a bottle - maybe she'll sleep through the night! Yahoo!

Have a great night!

Beth

 

[ML]

Nothing to add except that our kids can't keep the truth out of the equation for long I would believe an aspie every time.

 

[DaisyFace]

I'm actually surprised that this would have happened...regardless of a child's attitude--but then again, I grew up in an area where Catholics pre-dominated....so fish sticks were always on the school lunch menu on Fridays.

--DaisyF

 

[nvts]

Aaahaa! My difficult child's tend to be on the "chunky" side, so I've laid down the law about seconds for lunch. Add that to the fact that most of the NYC schools will let them eat until they drop rather than endure a meltdown, difficult child 2 left out an integral part of the story (you know, the part that would get him in trouble!).

See, the FIRST time he went through the line, he took a burger and there were TONS of pb&j's. The SECOND trip through, there were only burgers. Since he's only allowed ONE lunch, difficult child 2 thought that if it was a DIFFERENT lunch, it didn't count as seconds.

He's going to be spoken to about only giving 1/2 the facts - the good thing is that I can laugh about his reasoning before he gets home so I'll be able to keep a straight face when I'm going over this with him. Since I don't believe that he truly thought this would not count as seconds, he's busted to his room after school.

Thank you guys for keeping me going off 1/2 cocked. I just called the Parent Coordinator and told her what his story was, (her son's autistic and has blown up about the same thing!) and she checked into it for me.

Beth

 

[Hound dog]

LOL Beth.............Travis still reasons like that when it comes to seconds.

Now if you start to giggle when going over this with him......inhale very slowly with your teeth clenched. Helps kill the urge.

I can hear him now.........But Mom, I didn't have seconds of the burger.....I wanted PB&J. lol

Hugs

 

[trinityroyal]

See, the FIRST time he went through the line, he took a burger and there were TONS of pb&j's. The SECOND trip through, there were only burgers. Since he's only allowed ONE lunch, difficult child 2 thought that if it was a DIFFERENT lunch, it didn't count as seconds.

I just LOVE kid logic. Especially Aspie kid logic.
What a HOOT! I would have trouble keeping a straight face through that conversation as well.

Since my family is a collection of gooves (plural of goof?) of the first water, I've learned over the years to howl with laughter at the transgression AND still mete out the discipline (As my Goof-in-Chief, Little easy child, alias Burpo the Clown, knows well). Unless this will totally undermine the discipline with your difficult child, it might be worth letting him see the humour in it.

Trinity

 

[nvts]

Lisa and Trinity:

Don't you love it? Every time I think I'm done laughing at this kid, I start grinning like an idiot! My Dad showed up at the door looking for a cup of coffee and a cordless phone (you don't EVEN want to know!) and asked how things worked out with The Peanut (keep in mind, this kid is built like a linebacker!) and I started laughing all over again.

Eh, I can think of worse ways to start a week off!

Beth

 

[Andy]

I agree with your difficult child, PB & J's are not 2nds (especially if you didn't get one as a 1st). They are an addition to your meal.

Isn't it awesome how the truth can clear up so much and make us laugh?