Confused, I haven’t been in your exact shoes, but I feel for you, truly.
I do know what it was like to be raised without a dad, to think my mom was in the wrong and my dad was perfect. Of course, I was a little kid and didn’t know squat. As I got older, I saw my dad for who he was—alcoholic, irresponsible in some respects, never had money for child support, wanted to party with us instead of be a father, and all three of his grown children lost respect for him until he became sober many years later.
This is often what happens as children get older and more mature. They realize who actually parented them, the sacrifices that were made, and they begin to appreciate the parent who did all the work.
My feeling is that an alcoholic, carefree dad might have trouble living up to all the hype and promises he’s making to your son. He is bound to disappoint sometime.
Just keep being the mom that you are, the best mom you can be. Don’t denigrate the ex—take the high road. I know it hurts, being seen in this light by your son and ex, but keep in mind that someday your son will see and know the truth. If you are a praying person, keep praying.
We care and we are here for you. I’ve read some of your previous posts. Don’t ever think that you’re a burden on this forum. That’s what we’re here for, to listen and learn from each other. Hugs to you.