Okay, so I'm obviously livid about this but more so, I'm broken hearted because this was at the hands of blood relatives, my own brother and my own mother. Without giving gory details, well most of you know my mom is bipolar, we don't talk, all ties severed. My brother and I have a very superficial and limited relationship for many reasons but mostly because we are very different and as much as I love him because he's my brother, I don't respect him. He has 5 kids with 4 women. His oldest is 17, his youngest is a year old (second youngest being 2 months apart in age with the youngest, doing the math, both preg same time). He has never paid a single support payment for a single child ever. He has zero contact with 4 of the 5. He has been living with the mother of the youngest until, well until this past weekend when she told him they are over and never to return but for picking up/dropping off the baby for visits. Anyhow, he showed up here a few weeks ago with no notice (lives 2 hours away) and stayed 12 days. Spent not a minute with me or kids, used my computer to sign up for dating sites and posted profile and recruiting women here in the town I live in. Posted as single, no kids blah blah blah. This is typical behaviour for him historically. Under my roof? He$# no! So he spent 3 nights with 3 women during that time, telling me if his g/f calls don't answer your phone so you don't have to lie. I felt in such a bad spot, he's family but this sickens me. I was glad when he left and was determined to speak with him about it when he called again and tell him never again. Well fast forward to Wednesday. He calls, they are broke, baby is sick, have booked appointment for doctor on Thursday, no bus fare to take baby in to the doctor. No Tylenol, no pedialite, using diapers extra cuz she had diarhea and would not have enough to see her through. I did a email money transfer through to them so it was instantly in their account for $100 to get her to docs and anything she needed, any cost if she needed script etc. I hear nothing back until he lands in my doorway Friday about 2p.m. HUH????? Uh, no!!! NOT doing this AGAIN! Sure enough, he talks to me for 10 minutes, BS's me about a job interview on Monday here in town (LIES) and then straight to my kitchen computer after a quick phone message left for the one woman who is actually falling for him hard, saying call him when she is in, made a special trip here for her! (Gag me!) easy child was home for weekend, not with her dad, so I was determined that as soon as she was in bed I would throw him out. I didn't want any scene, should there be one, in front of her. So her and I ran up to video store before her bed time. I come back and difficult child tells me he is gone, message is he may or may not be back before morning, leave door unlock (Heck no!) and again, if g/f calls don't answer phone so you don't have to lie. He was gone to dating site girl's house for the night. So I called when easy child was in bed, to this woman's house (last number dialed on my phone so just hit redial). Was polite and asked her to speak to my brother. Told him politely that I will not lie for him, he can't stay here, pick up bags the next day please. No fight, he said ok. He showed up Sat. and picked up bag, all friendly, stayed 2 minutes and left. Good. Told him that I wasn't going to call g/f cuz this isn't my life here, but if she calls looking for him and asks me anything where I'd have to lie, I wouldn't. Told him take care of your crap and get it together. He smiled and said no problem. So 11p.m. g/f calls crying looking for brother, baby is still vomitting, diarhea. Needs to take baby to ER, looking for brother. Turns out the jerk didn't even leave her bus fare to go to ER, didn't buy tylenol, pedialite, diapers, nothing. Left her broke. She was praying he was here to beg him to please send her enough money to get baby to ER. I broke down crying, emailed her money to take care of my baby niece (named after me) and she said Melissa, I never asked you before, he's your brother and I didn't want to force you to break confidence but I have to know. Is he with another woman when he is running away from here to your house? So I cried, she cried, I told her truth. It hurt to do to her, she was devestated. She said well maybe he's not sleeping with these women, which well I know he sleeps there but I wasn't there either so no proof. So I have spyware on puters in my house to monitor difficult child's usage. Gosh my brother knows that, knows I see everything he does when I read difficult child's logs. So I used it to get passwords to his dating site account and email and sure enough, evidence of how far things have gone with this woman. I felt for the woman too. She was conned. She was falling for him. Another vulnerable single parent looking for a loving family man to accept her and her kids etc. So I ignored the other women he is "woo'ing" online who haven't met him yet. I emailed the woman here in town who is falling in love with my brother. I kept it short and sweet. I simply told her she deserves to know the truth before she gets hurt, and she can do what she wants with the information. Is this a betrayal of my brother? Well he sees it that way, I knew he would. The way I see it, he betrayed my home, he used us as a way to cover his true dealings here in town, he didn't ask me to cover for his garbage, he merely told me to do so without listening when I said I wouldn't lie for him. As for telling the other woman, well why should another woman get destroyed by him? She had gotten to where she was feeling safe letting him meet her 3 teenage children. I didn't ask to be thrust into my brothers messed up life. ARGH! So he can't go home now, he's been told he no longer lives here. Locks are changed. She is currently as I type this getting emerg. court order for full custody of baby because he has threatened to take baby since neither has custody so police won't force him to return baby when he picks her up for visit. She will allow access but only after she gets that protection through court today. She isn't sleeping. Baby is still ill. He is calling and leaving horribly abusive messages on machine. I learned that he has been physically abusive, recently had her in bathroom cornered strangling her. I am glad he is out of that house! Sorry, off topic again. So yesterday I had both kids home, company for dinner. A police officer arrives, tells me I'm under arrest for harrassment (calling my mother and brother at my mothers house over 20 times that day being abusive, leaving messages etc), slander, defamation of character and fraud (said I hacked his accounts online). When I tried to ask for a moment to tell my side, he said "tell a judge" and walked toward me with cuffs!!! I stood my ground, politely said perhaps 5 minutes of your time to hear my version will help you from arresting a mother with 2 kids who has company and doesn't even HAVE my mother's new phone number as it changed months ago and her I don't speak. That I have company to verify, kids to verify, I've been cooking and crafting with kids all day and haven't touched my phone, just as a start. Thank GOD he stopped at hearing that, said ok, you have my attention, you have 5 minutes. I told him the story. Then I cried. This is my blood, my family. I didn't hack anything, it was all on my puter to see. I did log in his accounts but he had given me his password a long time ago when he needed me to check something because he didn't have access to a computer. Morally? Yes maybe it crossed a line to access his email. And yes, he was stupid to make the same password for the dating site and I "morally" shouldn't have gone into it to read it. I however would still do it again in this situation as that was only way to prove for his g/f's sake that he was cheating. As mother of his baby she has a right to the truth and she certainly wouldn't have gotten it from him. I never slandered him or defamed him. Thank god I studied law in college for 3 full years! I know what those charges entail. I did not "email every person in his address book and in the dating site" as he said and "spread lies and garbage to them". I emailed one woman, the one who he has falling in love with him, and told her fact. That he is in a relationship, has a child with this woman, and is cheating. Period. It was short and sweet and not slander etc. This officer was very apologetic. I thanked him for listening at my request, because had I not asked and he not finally given me a chance to talk, I would have had to beg my company to stay with my kids for god knows how long as I was taken away in handcuffs!!!!! This is low even for a lowlife deadbeat like my brother. There wasn't even an ounce of truth in the harrassment towards my mother. They both stood and lied to a cop to have me arrested when I've never called that number and don't even HAVE her frreaking number??? I have cried alot of tears through the years with both of them, mostly my mother. I spent years gaining courage to end her abuse and end contact with her and keep my kids away from her. Not alot about either of them shocks me or can hurt me anymore. This incident did both, badly. Thankfully we remained outside, easy child was oblivous and thankfully saw/knows nothings. difficult child is crushed, angry, disgusted, sadly more aware than ever about what they are really like. He gathered all pictures in his room of my mom and my brother and destroyed them including their frames. Ranted about going to find my brother and start attacking him. I knew it was venting, I let him vent. He has a right to his anger and I know he isn't going to go truly start a fight. He then cried and told me he has no clue how I have not gone crazy all my life living with my mom and brothers garbage, he can't take it and is glad that with this, the door has slammed shut for my brother as well because his nerves can't take it. He told me again that never will he ever be able to be abusive or hurtful or hateful towards me again and how sorry he was again for being that way in the past. He told me he was once like them and can't live with knowing that. I told him you were a kid, you were fed alot of lies and you were manipulated, that it wasn't his fault, he knows better now so he does better now and that I am proud of him. That at almost 14, he is more man than his 35 year old uncle and he never needs to think he is anything like them. I didn't sleep well last night. Half afraid they'd pull something new. Broken hearted and broke down many times after both kids were sleeping. This is a tough time. As for mother and brother, police officer said it was a charge of public mischief for both of them. He was livid that they wasted police time on such garbage and used the police for vengeance and it was a criminal offense. I said yes but if you charge them I end up having to go to court against them to say what they did and I plum don't want to spend anymore energy on them. Not to mention then it will lead them to looking for more ways to try to set me up etc. He agreed then to go freak on them, scare them, threaten them with charges for this if they pull one more stunt etc. But he told me that if either of them pulled an attitude with him, all bets were off and he would be arresting them both so he hoped for my sake that they understand the trouble they could be in so keep their mouths shut. I said I can live with that. He then gave me his card and said if he calls or she calls, to not answer (I have call display) and even if they don't leave a message, call him immediatly and they will be arrested for the public mischief and then harrassment. He was to make it clear to them to not come here, call here, contact me or my children, period. Or the public mischief charge is laid. What a sad family I was born into. I am hurt. I am angry. I am lost. I am ashamed of my name, my heritage, my blood. The whole eperience was humiliating on top of everything else that it was. Having to tell a stranger my whole messed up family garbage. Crying on my doorstep at this all. This could have ended very differently had I not gotten his attention to listen to my side. I'd have been locked up!