So, we go to court tomorrow for CRA hearing. The probation officer is recommending DCF custory. I was pretty upset about this and was ready to fight for him to get some more time and hopefully get him some help. Yesterday, he met with his attorney and adjustment counselor at school and was working with them to make a plan to make up his work, etc. That, apprently, went great according to his lawyer and the adjustment counselor. But - no. He was full of it. Again. Right after that, he met up with his friends and was caught on camera graffitiing(sp) a wall in school, then he skipped out of last two classes of the day and his afterschool program. Came home, all full of bullsh***, said he did homework, blah, blah. Husband caught him smoking in the bathroom while I was out at meeting. So, then today came. He got called down to office because he skipped school and they saw him on video graffiting (sp) the wall. 10 day suspension because he wouldn't admit to it. He denied it, denied it, denied it, then got mad. They put him in outer office and he then proceeded to mouth off to everyone else in the office. I went down to office (I work there) and got the lowdown from asst principal. We called him in. Deny, deny, deny, attitude and he walked out. Was walking down the halls, swearing and yelling and they were following. School went into lockdown. I am all the while dying inside. Son lead them through the school, swearing and yelling, outside, then back in. Mouthing off the whole time, punching lockers, mouthing off at police officers. They had him taken away in handcuffs. He was charged with malicious destruction, disturbing school assembly, and diorderly conduct. He was mouthing off to cops and my husband and I when we were in police station. He was released to our custody. So, now he's home. All he cares about is getting his "stuff" back. Cash, cellphone, etc. He actually had 3 cellphones on him. Two of my old phones with no service and his own. Why? I don't know. Cash? Pretty sure he is stealing alcohol from local store and selling it to other stupid kids. I am not giving him back his stuff. Took it from husband because I'm not sure he won't. I have to go to work in a few hours. what a relief, really. Attorney told him they could fight DCF custody for now if he showed improvement, which it seemed like he was. Now even she says we are screwed. And we are. I don't know what being put in a group home with do to him psychologically. I don't know that he will be given the help that he so desperately needs. How do I get through this? How do I get him the help he needs? How do we get through to him that he needs to change? Why is he acting this way? I am so conflicted. I worry so much about why he is acting this way, why he can't control his emotions, about this anxiety, his depression. But then I am just flipping MAD. I can't even stand the sight of him. I want to grab him and shake him. I want to scream until I have no voice left. I see (rarely) glimmers of hope and progress and I love him and want to help him, but inevitably, he does something stupid in the next moment. I know he has a marijuana addiction and has this whole group of ridculous friends. I know he has anxiety and depression. But what else? I just don't know. Why can't he keep his life under control? Why doesn't he care?