Mamma needs help

[mammamo]

Very long story to tell will try and make it short.

I have a 16 year old son who has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and depression. For about 5 monthes he has basically been testing all limits possible. After Christmas he did not want to go to school and wanted to quit, he got suspended for 5 days after the 5 days he went back one day and tried to commit suicide that night. We took him to hospital numerous tests and no answers 5 days later. He went out of control and ended up in a shelter. I am guilt ridden, sad, angry, frustated, and basically going crazy inside. I have had many tell me he is just a brat. I see the good in my son and love him. I want to get help he is on 2 medications right now but still at shelter. Life has been rough for him, my husband (His stepdad) myself and others who care. I don't know when or if he will come back home. I want him to but can't handle the constant stress of others telling me how bad my kid is. He goes in for a full evaluation. tomorrow. Please some one tell me I am not alone.

 

[klmno]

Well, you are definitely not alone here! I'm sorry you are going through this- glad you found the forum and you are Welcome here. When you have a chance, you might want to do the signaature- that's the minimal information that will show up at the bottom of your posts- you can find how to do this in the FAQ section.

Many people here have a lot of experience with different, but similar, situations. If you are comfortable giving a little more detail, it might help people offer more feedback.

(((HUGS)))

 

[mammamo]

Thanks I hope I got this right with the signature. Still learning to navigate.

 

[klmno]

Maureen, when kids have something going on like this with them, they are just "Brats". It's hard to hear what others have to say about our difficult child's (Gift from God) many times. It's hard to accept and deal with what they go through and what it puts us through. The forum here is a good place to vent and ask questions and get some support for all this.

I am curious how your son ended up in a shelter. All of our kids here have been out of control at some point- ok, maybe lots of times for some of us!

PS- Many people use nicknames if you don't want to post real names- particularly of your difficult child- it's ok either way- just whatever you are most comfortable with.

 

[klmno]

SO SORRY_ that was supposed to say "they are NOT just brats" I'm really very sorry- I need to proofread more-

 

[Coookie]

Maureen,

You are definitely not alone. Hugs for your hurting heart and keep posting. You have found a family.

 

[Jena]

hi

you are sooo not alone. i'm so sorry you are going through this it hurts so much. just try to keep in mind that you know your child best regardless of what others say and that you know that all in which you do for him is out of your love for him.

good luck with the evaluation. keep us posted and let us know how he and you are.

hugs to you

and you really aren't alone. there are alot of wonderful people in here.

jen

 

[BusynMember]

"Brats" don't try to commit suicide.
The most common disorder that causes people to commit suidice is bipolar disorder. Often ADHD/ODD is really bipolar. If he is on stimulants or antidepressants and actually has a mood disorder THIS can cause suicidal ideation. I'd want another evaluation, especially if mood disorders run on the family tree. The suicide rate for ADHD is low. ODD is kind of a "catch all" for defiant behavior. If stims/ADHD medications aren't helping your child, I'd want to look beyond that--see a neuropsychologist or a real Psychiatrist (with the MD). I wish you good luck.

 

[daralex]

You're definitely not alone!!!! If you were we wouldn't be here! Society raised us all to believe kids are perfect and if they're not it must be our fault - that's a load of ****! Truth is they don't come with instruction booklets and we have to be advocates for our difficult child's (Also known as brats to "outsiders") These disorders are real and the pain they cause is real as well. Is your son in a "treatment" program or just a housing for boys with bad behavior. I would want him re-evaluated so you can get to the root of what is going on. Keep strong, keep posting, and know you're not alone!!! ((hugs))
-Dara

 

[tycjcj]

Hang in there. You r not alone. I am dealing with the same situation here wondering if my son may be bipolar instead of just adhd and ODD. I ti sso hard to know wht to do or where to turn sometimes. As much as you want Occupational Therapist (OT) be strong you find yourself at your weakest point i think. it will all work out for us somehow. We just have to keep the faith and be strong in our beliefs.

 

[mammamo]

Yes we do have to keep the faith. That is all I have. My husband and I are a praise ministry team at our Church and some how it is so much easier to help others then to ask for help ourselves. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

 

[mammamo]

My son is in boystown shelter, the state is having him reevaluated because he had tried to commit suicide and the hospital he went to was not very helpful. I also work for the state and know there are many hoops to jump through. We went to an evaluation yesterday and had a really good day. I did not want him to go but he refused to go to school, got suspended, called me every name in the book, and pushed me. Then decided I knew nothing and was going to run away and live his life on the wild side. Not much I could do. We go to court on Feb. 28th to see where we go from here.

 

[mammamo]

We had an evaluation yesterday. His aunt, cousin and great grandmother on his Dad's side all had problems. His bio Dad used my sons ADHD medications and never gave them to him. He and his Dad have had words. Hopefully this evaluation will show us something.

 

[mammamo]

Thanks for the words of encouragement hopefully we will get some answers.

 

[mammamo]

Thank you and God Bless you and the others here.

 

[mammamo]

My son tried to run away and rufused to go to school. He is in the shelter right now but we have court on Feb. 28th. We had evaluation. done yesterday. Thanks and hugs to you!

 

[tryinghard]

Hi,

My heart goes out to you and your family. You are definitely not alone. I will keep you and your son in my prayers and thoughts.

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to get him the help he needs.

 

[Marguerite]

Maureen, I hope he gets some APPROPRIATE assessment and intervention. It does sound like more is going on that you have been made aware of.

Why was school the trigger? Was there something happening there that was the final straw? Are there any kids in his class you could talk to, to get some clues?

And now for some site suggestions -
1) You don't need to individually reply to people in separate posts. It's harder on you, and it's hard to know anyway, who you're replying to. Easier for you - simply put it into ONE post and address each person by name if part of your message is just for them. We all get to read everything anyway (which is a good thing, because we're all stickybeaks). If you really want to communicate privately, you can send a PM (private message) to an individual.

2) Especially since you and your husband have a certain profile, I would HIGHLY recommend you go anonymous here. OK, WE'RE harmless here, but if you use your real name you can be tracked.
I'll give you an example from my own situation - a lot of difficult child 3's troubles were NOT helped by the local school's mismanagement. I needed advice from people here, which meant I needed to describe the problems in detail. Sometimes the advice included information I had to keep to myself (or at least keep from the school) so I could take whatever action I needed to.
BUT - I also know that one of the teachers in particular, was tracking anything I wrote. If I had an article published - she would get a copy of it and show it to the other teachers. I never said anything that wasn't true, but I also wasn't always complimentary about the school (which I never publicly named). But any time I used my real name online, or any other clear identifying information - she would be able to track me.
By not using my real name, or the real names of any of my family members (which is why so many of us use 'code' to describe our families) we are more free to vent without fear of litigation or personal attack.

Sometimes on this site I will give information which means I could be tracked from this site back to my real identity - but that's OK. The chances of this teacher finding tis site and reading it enough to perhaps recognise me enough to want to backtrack - unlikely. It's being tracked the other way that is the hazard to your privacy and your freedom to speak.

Unfortunately, the world does have people like this. Especially when you are dealing with officialdom, you will strike some people now and then who will want to keep an eye on you and what you might be saying about them or about the system. A simple Google search can find you, if they plug in your first name, your husband's first name and "praise ministry".
It mightn't matter to you now, but it might in the future.

Hang in there, keep your focus positive and be kind to yourself and your family.

Marg

 

[SRL]

Welcome Mammano, I'm glad that you found us.

Could you please remove the family picture from your signature line. To protect the privacy of the children who are represented here, we don't allow children and/or family photos.

Thanks,
SRL

 

[mammamo]

Sure sorry about that. Thanks.