My youngest difficult child is 24 and has had a substance abuse problem since college. He had Tourette Syndrome growing up and some challenges with that and had to be on regular medication, but he was well-liked, a good student, loved sports and had a sweet disposition. Once he hit college the **it hit the fan. Every 6 months there has been some type of negative event since. What? Name it. Stealing my prescription medications, spending school loans on marijuana, having his car repo'd, drinking and getting ticketed, on-line gambling etc. He came home to go to junior college and met a girl and got her pregnant. They decided to keep the baby and make a go of their relationship. We were not pleased, but it looked as if they were in love and ready to make a go of it. They moved out of our home after the baby was born. They split up and difficult child has been living with us since. She has since taken up with his best friend. She is a negligent mother, drug user and has been indicated by DCFS for medical neglect of our grandson and hazardous environment. My son was the better parent, but not by much. My husband and have provided a lot of support in the form of care and $ for our grandson. As it turns out, our beautiful grandson has special needs. He needs therapies, to see special dr's., has had surgeries etc. My son was handling the baby's needs very well. They shared custody, but he started to falter in summer of 2012. He got a DUI, he missed out on a promotion at work because of it because he needed to drive. It cost a ton of money and it came out of our pockets while he payed us back in small increments. It's been a bumpy year. His license suspension has been prolonged by his failing on the breathalyzer machine on his car. I was ill in May and then on a vacation in the fall and during this time I found he stole money by using our credit cards and forging checks. He threatened suicide in the fall and was as well. He never took anything. We told him he had to leave. He is renting an apartment from a woman. She lives upstairs. He was fired for not showing up to work before the new year. He had worked there 2 years. His drinking and pot addictions are back and we found out today that just yesterday he was smoking pot at her home. He had the baby yesterday. I am sick about it. The landlord told him he had to move out within 7 days or she would phone us and tell us all of his misdeeds. So he came clean this morning and I went ballistic. He took a handful of Seroquel and said he was committing suicide, and my husband called 911. difficult child then went in the bathroom, where he must have spit them out, because when the rescue squad came he said he had nothing in his system. We called the baby's mother at noon and she finally showed up after 7 p.m. We are never able to get a hold of her and she has never put him on the bus for school, sends him with dirty, smelly clothes (teacher wrote a note home to us) and disappears for months at a time. My son's faltering has put his son in peril by having to turn him over to his inept mother. When she picked up the baby tonight I would swear she was on something. I asked my husband and he said she stumbled on her way out to the car. I am sick. Now the phone rings and my son says the hospital has nowhere for him to go for treatment until tomorrow and he wants a ride. I turned him over to his father. His father said he's done doing anything to help him. I told him as much prior to his fake-out OD. So difficult child is stuck at the hospital. We have been married for 30+ years and are tired of parenting. We are scared for our grandson. I never thought that my son would let himself get this out of control so as to let primary custody fall to his mother, but I guess he was never really rock steady. Another thing, baby mama was in rehab 2 months ago and "came clean" by admitting she had done drugs while she was pregnant with him. My son did them with her. My hubby and I are flummoxed. What makes this overwhelming is that my elder difficult child son is bipolar, off medications, was homeless, arrested for assault and has been found unfit to stand trial. He is in a state mental hospital. These are our only 2 children. There has been so much turmoil and upheaval in our lives that we are left drained. For this reason I don't feel we are equipped to try to get custody and raise our grandson. It is a very high standard in order to get custody and both parents would have to consent. They both think they are the BEST parents and delight in each other's faults, to the detriment of their son. The physical demands of raising a special needs toddler are beyond me and the mental demands at this point after what we have been through seem insurmountable. In addition we would still have to deal with his parents. We have gone through NAMI family to family, it was very helpful. I am in counseling and have been successfully treated for depression for several years. I was afflicted when both my sons were diagnosed with Tourettes and my mother was dying of cancer. My treatment is as good as it can get under the circumstances. They don't make medicines to counteract a life like mine. My elder son will be a whole other post. We spent years building a strong family. We were happy. We had fun and love and respect for each other and then the bottom falls out. Now we both feel empty and I grieve. Help.