AOG, I went through the same thing for over twenty years, and it never got better ... it got worse! And after all that time and after pretty much destroying his own family, he still would never even admit that he even had a problem, much less make an attempt to do anything about it! He was always drunk, mean and cruel and sometimes violent - should I (and the kids) have been expected to put up with that in hopes that he would maybe someday see the light? No way! Whose fault is it the the marriage failed - HIS - not mine! It's been over twelve years and the kids and I are still trying to undo all the damage he has done to us - and he's still a drunk, even worse than before. Should the two kids and I have sacrificed our chances to finally have happy, peaceful, calm, normal lives - again, NO WAY!
From a religious standpoint, I will never EVER believe that God expects a woman (and her children) to remain with a man who is cruel and abusive! When it goes that far, the marriage is already broken and HE broke it! That's the deal breaker right there. I believe that when this happens, a loving God would be very angry at the man who beat and abused his wife, rather than being displeased with the wife who chose to protect herself and her children by leaving. And remember, statistics say that at least 60% of men who beat their wives, also beat their children!