Malika
Well-Known Member
Could I put a situation that has been revolving in my mind for about, oh, four or five months now to you? I would be very interested to hear people's thoughts. Who knows, it may even help me make a decision!
I am uncertain as to what we should do next year (for the start of the school year in the autumn). There are basically three options - there are more, obviously, but I think I can bear to whittle the indecisiveness down to this...
1. Stay where we are, in the house in the village with the school a minute's walk away. This is what J is familiar with, obviously, and the main argument in favour of staying is that this is what he says he wants to do. The school is tiny - just one other boy in a total class size of five (they are taught with other ages in the room in a single class that ranges from age 2 to age 6) and he seems to be doing well there, on the whole. I worry about the smallness of the pool of friends and the teacher who is overly strict but... it could presumably be a lot worse. The disadvantages of staying are that... I quite often feel like I am going a bit stir crazy in the village (even though part of me also just wants to stay because it is always easier to stay rather than face all the hassle of moving; I also have various friends and connections here) and we really don't "fit" here even though people in the main are warm and polite enough (to our faces at least).
2. Moving to a city in France where there is a school I really like the look of for J - they do conventional lessons in the morning and then various activities such as cooking, gardening, looking after animals (it is set out in nature, in acres of woodland) in the afternoon. This academic approach is obviously going to suit him far more than the conventional, narrow curriculum here - very head-based and frankly not much fun and one that I sense J will find increasingly difficult. There would also be access to all the city things for me, and (most importantly) a Buddhist community with whom I can practice. On the other hand, I will not know anyone there and neither will J. Obviously I am partly reluctant to start over all over again, with the fear that it may not work out.
3. Move back to Morocco, where J can learn perfect Arabic before it is too late for him to do so (really it would be giving him the option to make his life in Morocco one day if that is what he wanted) and where we are both familiar with the culture and lifestyle and have friends. J would also have regular access to his Moroccan family - although, interestingly, my ex-husband does not want us to come back. He says it is because J would have the best future and education if he stays in France, which has a truth to it, but knowing my ex as I do, I suspect there is some other motive to it. He is the kind of person who always has some vested interest, if you know what I mean... But we would not be living near my ex-husband and his new wife and would be leading very separate lives. J would have to go to one of the French schools there, which are expensive. Also, and this is the main disadvantage in my book, they all have conventional class sizes of around 25 to 30 - a BIG disadvantage for someone like J. And it would be the narrow, academic formula that I fear for him... But I KNOW he would be happier with other Moroccan kids and growing up connected to his culture and language (with the extra dimension of speaking French and English).
So... to cut a long story short (because it could certainly be even longer!)... what would you do, based on this information??
I am uncertain as to what we should do next year (for the start of the school year in the autumn). There are basically three options - there are more, obviously, but I think I can bear to whittle the indecisiveness down to this...
1. Stay where we are, in the house in the village with the school a minute's walk away. This is what J is familiar with, obviously, and the main argument in favour of staying is that this is what he says he wants to do. The school is tiny - just one other boy in a total class size of five (they are taught with other ages in the room in a single class that ranges from age 2 to age 6) and he seems to be doing well there, on the whole. I worry about the smallness of the pool of friends and the teacher who is overly strict but... it could presumably be a lot worse. The disadvantages of staying are that... I quite often feel like I am going a bit stir crazy in the village (even though part of me also just wants to stay because it is always easier to stay rather than face all the hassle of moving; I also have various friends and connections here) and we really don't "fit" here even though people in the main are warm and polite enough (to our faces at least).
2. Moving to a city in France where there is a school I really like the look of for J - they do conventional lessons in the morning and then various activities such as cooking, gardening, looking after animals (it is set out in nature, in acres of woodland) in the afternoon. This academic approach is obviously going to suit him far more than the conventional, narrow curriculum here - very head-based and frankly not much fun and one that I sense J will find increasingly difficult. There would also be access to all the city things for me, and (most importantly) a Buddhist community with whom I can practice. On the other hand, I will not know anyone there and neither will J. Obviously I am partly reluctant to start over all over again, with the fear that it may not work out.
3. Move back to Morocco, where J can learn perfect Arabic before it is too late for him to do so (really it would be giving him the option to make his life in Morocco one day if that is what he wanted) and where we are both familiar with the culture and lifestyle and have friends. J would also have regular access to his Moroccan family - although, interestingly, my ex-husband does not want us to come back. He says it is because J would have the best future and education if he stays in France, which has a truth to it, but knowing my ex as I do, I suspect there is some other motive to it. He is the kind of person who always has some vested interest, if you know what I mean... But we would not be living near my ex-husband and his new wife and would be leading very separate lives. J would have to go to one of the French schools there, which are expensive. Also, and this is the main disadvantage in my book, they all have conventional class sizes of around 25 to 30 - a BIG disadvantage for someone like J. And it would be the narrow, academic formula that I fear for him... But I KNOW he would be happier with other Moroccan kids and growing up connected to his culture and language (with the extra dimension of speaking French and English).
So... to cut a long story short (because it could certainly be even longer!)... what would you do, based on this information??