Meeting With difficult child's therapist

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Oct 19, 2010.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    So, the therapist said that he wanted to me with husband and me, no kids allowed, to see how we thought things were going and how he felt we should be proceeding at this point. I basically told him that I do not wish for school to be a topic of discussion any longer. difficult child is a straight A student. School never was, is not now, and probably never will be, difficult child's issue. His behavior at home, and anyplace where he's really comfortable, is. But, as I told the therapist, I try to bring things up that I feel need to be worked on and I don't think that my concerns are being heard because difficult child tends to hijack the topics of conversation and always brings things back to the topic of school, because he knows that that is where he excels and that is what he will be praised for. Really, who wants to talk about threatening to tell people that you mother doesn't feed you and try to modify your behavior when you can talk about what you have done right in school and be praised for it?

    The new plan now is to make a difficult child Book, in which I am supposed to right down what happens with difficult child during the week, both good and bad, so that we will have a solid "outline" of what needs to be talked about with difficult child and where he has made imporvements.

    I told the therapist last night that I feel like it's never going to get better. I feel worse now that I did when I stated him with the therapist three years ago. therapist says that's because it's three years and I'm tired and frustrated. He's right. He tells me that to compare difficult child now with the kid that first walked into his office three years ago would be like comparing night and day. Maybe it's harder for me to see it because I'm in the middle of it.

    My therapist suggested an anti-depressant for the time being. I know that she is right. I an hanging on to the knot that I tied to the end of my proverbial rope and my mood has been awful for months. Maybe, if I can gegt myself into a better frame of mind I will be able to care for difficult child, and easy child, better.

    I know that the medications are helping difficult child. He tantrums have decreased in number and severity. To be honest, I was hoping that they would disappear all together, but I know that would be a miracle.

  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Don't forget that the therapist does not have to LIVE with your difficult child. So it's very easy for him to say "O things are so much better, now" in that breezy, without-a-care tone.

    And things may be better, by degrees....but sometimes a little better is not good enough. You know, if many times every day you used to fall down and hit your head....and now with treatment, you only fall and hit your head once a day - well, that's an improvement, but you're STILL in pain!!!

    He's right, though - you do need to take care of you.

    Sending ((((hugs))))
  3. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Hi Pam,

    I think you should make a "Pam" book that's a really pretty color where you write down all the things you want to do and all the things you're feeling. Making a "difficult child book" sounds tedious and boring (in my humble opinion).

    I chose to go on an AD a several years ago when difficult child's activities really got me down. I remember the exact day -- I was driving down our street like a zombie and one of my neighbors, a mom who I liked, gave me a cheerful wave. She looked so happy and relaxed. I thought to myself "What's up with that?" That day I called difficult child's psychiatrist and made an appointment.

    I also started with a therapist. That was very helpful. We didn't talk about difficult child all the time -- hardly ever. We talked about me. It was good.



    P.S. My mom friend told me later that she had depression too! She was quite amused when I told her that her cheerful face was my motivation for getting some help.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I do have a "Pam" book. It's called my journal, which is safely in my desk. I do alot of writing on the bad days, and even some on the good days. If difficult child ever finds that book all heck will break loose!! LOL!!

    Anyway, I just got back from the psychiatrist and I have been prescribed Wellbutrin. Anyone on it? I told the psychiatrist, which is also the psychiatrist that is dealing with my difficult child, that I needed to be able to help me if I am going to be any good at helping difficult child with his issues.

  5. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    I just discontinued Wellbutrin. I was taking 150 mg for one month and then 300 for about 2 weeks. I had a horrible headache the entire time and it made me more anxious. I noticed I was losing a little bit of weight (which is great) and I didn't seem to crave food I shouldn't have. I wanted to stay on it for those reasons, but it wasn't helping me in the way it should and I could not live with the headaches. I left a msg with the nurse at my dr office and no one has bothered calling me back. Nice. I hope it works better for you! Keep us posted!
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hi Pam,

    I think it's great that your difficult child's therapist met with you alone. That was always helpful for me with my difficult child - gave me an opportunity to bring the focus back to where I felt it should be. Remember, YOU are paying this Dr to help and make valid suggestions, but it is useless if the therapist is able to be manipulated by difficult child (something that happened with ours a couple of times!).

    I took Wellbutrin XL and will take it again if needed, usually the middle of winter when I'm about to crawl out of skin - cabin fever trapped inside with everyone in our tiny house will do it. It works well for me - the initial side effects went away after the first two weeks and then it was nothing, but it sure helped me get through.

    I agree with keeping a journal - very good for you - but I also agree with keeping a journal soley for the purpose of recording VERY BRIEFLY the events of the day. It only has to be one or two sentences, remember, you are not musing to yourself as you do in your journal; you are merely documenting the events or non-events of the day.

    Yay for taking care of yourself!
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    EXACTLY!! The difficult child book is just to report the happenings of the day so the therapist knows what has been going on and what needs to be worked on. My personal journal is where I can write about how frustrated I am. Hopefully, this will help keep the sessions with the therapist on the right track, although I see quite a few session with difficult child throwing tantrums because he won't be able to control the discussion as he tries to do now. I'm hoping that this is the beginning of the next step towards him getting more respectful and less defiant.