I begged Tony not to make me go over to Cory's house to eat dinner once I found out that he insisted on taking Buck. Begged him. I was perfectly happy to stay home and go pick up a hamburger and McDonalds. I made the potato salad last night and I made the fruit salad for him to take over there but I simply didnt want to go. Mandy had even told me she wasnt thrilled about him being there. Anyway, Tony had told me on Friday that he wasnt going fishing any this weekend. After I ate, I stepped out on Cory's porch to smoke a cigarette because I didnt want to sit in there and listen to Buck talk. Its just irritating. It was maddening enough that he had sat down between me and the baby when I was trying to feed the baby. Just pulled a chair right on up and pushed me to the side. So I am sitting outside and I can hear them talking inside and I hear "fishing, you, me, Buck, load up the boat, truck Billy and Momma in his car". Those are the words I heard. Then Tony walks out of Corys door and announces to me that "we are going to the Cape Fear for a few hours this afternoon". He didnt come out and ask "would you mind if Cory and I went fishing at the river this afternoon after we dropped Buck off?" Or anything like that. No...just announced it like he is King. I was ticked. I got mad. And yes...one of the major reasons was because I thought Buck was involved. I will admit that. It turns out he wasnt going to be. However, I still dont like the way Tony just announced his change in plans. So we had a major knock down drag out fight. And guess who spent the entire afternoon at my house? You betcha! I am telling you, we are not going to survive this. My bipolar had been so in control until Buck showed up and now I have zero control. I cry at the drop of a hat and my moods are swinging wildly. Well I dont know that its so much swinging...I just keep going down. I may come up to semi normal once in a blue moon. Or I fake normal to get by. Tony has no intention of paying less attention to Buck. I can guarantee he will be with him every weekend from now on. He goes to work at 4 am and he gets home at 7:30...oh forgive me...now it will be even later since he has to take Buck home. Probably closer to 8. He will want to eat and go to sleep by 9 or 9:30 at the latest. That gives me 1 to 1 and a half hours of time with him a day. He rarely speaks to me other than to complain about Cory or say something about a tv show. He never actually talks to me. Normally its saying I havent done something. And trust me, when he goes to bed, he goes to sleep. Once his head its the pillow, he is asleep in 3 minutes. There is no keeping him awake. And yes I realize he works hard, I know that but I dont need to hear every single day that I dont. I get that too. I would be working if I could. I had to give up a job that I loved because I am hurting and disabled. I would give my right arm if I had that job back and could work again. He seems to think I sit around all day just enjoying myself. Yeah, getting needles stuck in you is so much fun! Im sitting in my room alone and I can bet you dollars to donuts that Tony wont come in here tonight until he has to get his alarm clock. Then he will sleep in the room Buck was sleeping in from now on. Now that Buck has christened it, he can sleep there. I had asked him to try sleeping there before and he wouldnt. Odd...now he will.