Met with-difficult child 1's teachers and staff about health issues and grades

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    difficult child 1 has a number of health issues on top of his ADHD and anxiety and some of his grades took a nosedive this past quarter, due in part to him and in part to my inability to micromanage him during husband's convalescence and the drama going on with difficult child 2's issues.

    So today husband and I met with the teachers, counselor, school psychologist (which is really a misnomer -- they don't do any therapeutic counseling) and district nurse to address the challenges he's facing and how we can all work together to ensure his success.

    Overall, I think it went pretty well. Most teachers were willing to just give him an N/A on things that would just be too hard for him to catch up on, that way his cumulative grade would not be penalized. Looks like we may even be able to go back and adjust one or two of his Q3 grades which did have missing assignment and tests factored in.

    Everyone's fine with email communication and these past few weeks that he's been out, they've all been able to provide work for him to do while he was home.

    The biggest challenge I see is his anxiety and self esteem getting in the way of his ability to be proactive. We're seeing psychiatrist this afternoon, so I'm also going to ask if perhaps the stimulant level is too high. We've upped his Lexapro, and GI has added Elavil (tricyclic) to help with his IBS symptoms that are now in addition to his Crohn's diagnosis (which is thankfully in remission).

    Perhaps it's time to get him into a regular therapy session again. Question is, do I go back to the therapist we were seeing, who I think is very good and understands our situation and the challenges difficult child faces but whom difficult child says he doesn't like, or do we start all over and look for someone who's a better match (which takes time)?

    And I'm grappling with my own impatience and wanting to be able to come up with a fix for everything YESTERDAY. Somebody slap me, please.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I won't slap you. I will give you a big ole hug though. I am glad you were able to work with school to help difficult child 1. IBS is miserable, Crohns is much worse from my meager understanding. It is even harder to deal with this kind of problem in your preteen and teen years - everything is more embarrassing then.

    I wish I had a therapy answer, we are pretty much in the same place. Maybe the existing counsellor would be willing to help YOU and a new counsellor would connect with difficult child 1 more? About age 13 or so teen boys seem to gravitate to male counsellors far more. Or so our experience has been.


  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    FYI, Lexapro can increase the level of Elavil in the bloodstream so there's a chance he'll up with too much antidepressant effect. Why don't you just use Elavil for anxiety? I've taken Elavil and its cousin Pamelor for IBS, stress and sleep, and they work like a charm.

    In terms of therapy, my daughter A was seeing a psychiatrist for medication management and psychotherapy who we thought was very good. But A didn't like her and completely shut down so the therapy became useless. I think your son needs to like the therapist for the therapy to have any value at all.
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Thanks, Susie -- it's good for me to be reminded of how big this burden is for a difficult child his age -- sometimes I think I expect too much or am too hard on him. The staff today pretty much echoed your thoughts about his lot in life.

    SW, I agree about the need for him to connect well with the therapist, so I think I'll keep looking, even if it means it will take more time. The school gave me a list of local therapists whom parents have said they liked, and our neurologist also gave me some good recommendations to look into. The psychiatrist is also someone he could talk to, and he seems to like him o.k. He's known him since kindergarten, so there's 8+ years of familiarity going for that relationship.

    I'll also be asking about the whole medication mix -- and maybe we can cut back on the Lexapro... it did wonders for "curing" him of his needle phobia. For blood draws, he refuses the Ativan now and doesn't even need the Emla cream like he did before. I also wonder if his stimulant may be too high -- could explain the reason he's so quiet and withdrawn in classes yet anxious on the inside.