more changes and more stress!!1

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amy4129, Feb 11, 2007.

  1. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    Just when things start to calm down and settle into a routine. Our TSS got a full time teaching job great for the Special Education class she will have; BAD for my boys. :cry:
    They have been way out of sort this last week and truthfully so have I. My focus is all over the place and I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and it is just making me crazy. I don't feel sad or depressed just disjointed.
    The psychiatrists office did find a replacement TSS for Ken but no one wants to deal with Corey after they read his folder...that makes me sad. And the longer it takes it is just ruining 8 months of hard work and progress I can see him slipping back into old habits/ patterns and there doesn't seem to be a way to stop it.
    Sorry just needed to get that all out.
    Thanks for listening. :smile:
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    There's nothing worse than change (transition) for our little wonders. It disrupts their whole take on life.

    I hope that a TSS can be found soon for your difficult child & that it's a good fit.

    Take a deep breath & have a glass of wine! :smile:
  3. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    Any ideas on how to stop the backslide into old behaviors? That is what concerns me as well as the fact no one wants to be TSS to my son. That just really hurts my Mommy heart in ways I didn't think possible.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry for your hurting heart. Doesn't the school district have to assign one? I know, unfortunately, here we don't have a choice in who is assigned. I hope they find one soon and it is one that works for your kiddo. Hugs.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Please don't take lack of personnel personally. The fact that these people are being honest about taking on your difficult child is, in the long run, good.

    You want a TSS who will be a good fit - committed to helping difficult child maintain & achieve success in the school setting.

    It took us many months to find the right PCA for wm, here at home. He's a hard boy to staff. In the group home setting, it took another couple of months to staff an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker for wm. However, by waiting it out - we got the best person possible to handle wm.

    kt's transition home is on hold for the same reason. I'd rather wait & get the right person in place than bumbling about & watching kt lose skills, consistency & stability.

    As to difficult child, spiraling - you're going to have to keep doing what was working before. Will it work now? Don't know. Our difficult children are ever evolving little beings - what works today, may not tomorrow.

    Don't let the staffing stuff get you down!
  6. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    We, too, are facing more changes very soon. difficult child is going to be put into a social development class (fulltime) which is not held on his elementary campus. So, he'll be bussed elsewhere. There goes any type of rapport we have developed with his counselor or se teacher. On Friday, the straw was broken. We got a note to sign from the principal yadda, yadda..."persistent physical violence". Supposedly he stabbed another student with a fork (per a phone call to me from the principal). I immediately went to this child's home and talked to her and her mother. The "stab" wound wouldn't have been seen by anyone if she hadn't pointed it out and she told her mother they were just "horsing around". The mark was on her collarbone, pink and maybe 1/8 inch long. I've refused to sign the "referral" he brought home and have sent a note (so that it will be part of his record the same as the referral) that states that I went to this child's house and "I hardly think this constitutes persistent physical violence." I'm SO sick of the school system and them trying to railroad my son that I could puke! Now I can hardly wait to get him out of there and maybe get him some help they should have offered to him YEARS ago. Sometimes change is good...
  7. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Hey Amy,

    Sorry I haven't been around, but I wanted to post here, because I can tell how frustrated you sound (and have been there done that, too).

    The thing that I'm thinking about here is, didn't the TSS that spent the last 8 months with you TEACH YOU what he/she was doing to keep the "calm" in the home? That should have been his/her job, not doing it for you.

    Wrap Around, at least the several that I have gone through, has never been intended as a long term service. Their goal is to get in, teach the behavioral mod, and get out.

    So, food for thought, if your TSS hasn't taught you anything in the past 8 months, or has left your family in the same state of confusion as you were pre-TSS, he/she didn't really do their job.

    With that being said, we have had good TSS's, and crappy ones. In all honesty, the crappy ones were the ones that were my babysitters. They're the ones that kept my kids happy while I cooked and cleaned. Yeah, it was nice, but no, they didn't teach me a darn thing.

    The good ONE (out of 7) I had was the one that came into my home, told me the things he saw that I was doing wrong or inconsistently, and taught me how to change it. Then, transitioned out.

    Just out loud thoughts.

  8. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    Thank you!!!!! You were right I'm frustrated, tired and totally overwhelmed. I liked your out loud thoughts....
    The TSS as well as the BSC have been great and have taught me many stategies to help but Corey is soooo fluid in his behaviors can still be a challenge. He is showing new behaviors every couple of days and I just don't want to lose what we have worked sooooo hard to acheive.
    It has been difficult lately, I don't know why it just has.
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I hope you can take some of suggestions here and our support and hang in there until you find a replacement. Hugs to you. I hope things work out quickly for all of you.

  10. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Ahh, that's hard when they keep popping up with new stuff all the time, Amy. I know, hon, so sorry :crying:

    I hope you can find a decent replacement TSS quickly. I'm surprised they have the option of turning HIM down!!!!!!!!! What is that all about? That would tick me off :grrr:

    Hope things get better soon, Amy :flower:

  11. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    Let me state this better the TSS has the option not to take a case. Corey still has the BSC and mobile therapist and we are all piecing things together to keep him going. Ken's TSS was eager to take his case but didn't feel she could handle both cases. The TSS that left had both boys.
    We will continue on.........
  12. Janna

    Janna New Member

    This was the biggest problem I had with Wrap, they didn't work with the FAMILY. They work with A child, A child only, and the parent(s). No brothers/sisters. I kinda always thought that was bs, because I had difficult child 1 and difficult child 2, each with their own TSS, MT, and they shared the BSE. Actually, difficult child 2 had TWO TSS's, one for home, one for school. So, I had 3 people in and out of my house all the time. It was insane.

    Amy, we did a thing called Intensive Family Services. You may want to see if that would be available to you. What that basically was is, a team (we had two ladies) that came in and worked with the WHOLE FAMILY. It was nicer, although, my kids' problems were way beyond the scope of their expertise, and I, myself, needed way more help than they could give me LOL.

    Just another thought.

  13. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    After reading and truly thinking about every reply I think that part of my frustration came from letting others guide this process.
    So because Ken's TSS has been at the house for 2 weeks and I will ask her to take on Corey's case as well. She can always say no.
    But the boys are only 16 months apart and so many of their interactions playing, sharing and just being brothers need one approach, one voice. Not 2 separate voices doing things with different ways.
    If she agress I will talk to the BSC and if all else fails the director of the program, who has been easy to speak to in the past.
    "Look out- Mom with a plan"