mother in law What is with these people??

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I had to attend a meeting at the nursing home today. Gave me a PTSD moment as it reminded me so much of an IEP meeting.:tongue: Nursing home SW was there (more experienced and knowledgable than hospital sw) PT, dietary, Nursing, and Activities Director.

    Nursing- all they're doing is helping her transfer from bed to wheelchair, wheelchair to commode ect. And pain management is their biggest thing. (already knew that lol)

    PT - he was the heavy hand in all this as that's the reason for her admit. He says mother in law is doing very well and has progressed nicely. He says he believes they can get mother in law up to walking within a week. *Good luck bub, I've been talking to mother in law, that's a no go. She's not wanting to deal with the level of pain it causes.* (can't blame her either)

    Dietary nor Activity director had input as they don't apply. Guess they were there just to look good. lol

    Any how...........SW nor PT feels mother in law's insurance (combo GM and medicare) will pay for her to remain for more than a week longer. Then they will expect her to return to home (with in home assistance) or to assisted living. But her current level of care doesn't warrent her remaining in the nursing home.

    Ok. So. This answers when she'll be moving. Just doesn't tell us HOW she's gonna manage it.:faint:

    Unless sister in law is going to come up and live with mother in law until the house sells..........Home is a definate NO. Which leaves assisted living. Sister in law didn't talk like they were full, but then she didn't say they had a spot open either. Waiting on her email back now.

    I just love how they sort of dump this on the family and you're just expected to make it all happen. Her insurance will not pay for mother in law to remain in nursing home after a week, yet will also not help pay for assisted living, nor someone to come in and stay with her. Guess insurance co's don't see how that doesn't make any sense?? Or don't care. Most likely the latter is true.:mad:

    So will wait to see what husband's brother and sister in law think of this latest wrinkle. Makes me ticked that when I asked about what would happen after her 20 days were up they made it sound as if mother in law could stay on with a deductable when evidently that won't be the case. Unless you count 100 percent as a deductable. grrrrr These people are driving me nuts.

    It appears my first week of a new quarter will be moving mother in law. Great. Terrific. Just the start I wanted.:ashamed:

    Vent/whine over

    by the way already told my mother that when it's her turn someone else gets to deal with it. I plan on playing the *too far away* card to the hilt. lol
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Daisy, this is exactly why my husband and his sister ended up caring for mother in law and father in law for almost 12 years. It is frustrating that if you have anything of value, you must give it up to be cared for.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What about rest home care? It is the next level down from full nursing home care. I am very surprised that if a patient cannot walk they can be sent home without nursing care because she cannot walk to the bathroom. They were going to find me a nursing home if I couldnt do some various tasks that your mother in law cant do and I am much younger. Im serious too. If I hadnt been able to finally transfer from the bed to the walker/wheelchair by myself and then to the bathroom...I was gonna get stuck in a nursing home. I also had to prove I could cook something, dress myself, wash my face...etc.

    Lord...looking back on all that gives me the shivers.

    Look into rest homes.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    mother in law doesn't qualify as long as she still owns her home. Nor will her insurance pay for it. Unless sister in law finds a loop hole I don't know about.

    mother in law is not yet medicaid and doesn't qualify because currently, while she's nearly broke, the house counts as an asset. Lovely huh?
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa....PM me...or call me. That house shouldnt be standing in the way. She can have a house and a car and medicaid. They will just go after the house after she dies. Now other income could make her ineligible or make her have a spend down. There is going to be a problem with selling that house. When you sell it, you will have to go x number of months before she will be eligible for medicaid. 3500 divided by the sale price of the home I think the number is. I know this is complicated.
  6. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    I feel your pain and frustration. We went through this with my grandmother many years ago. My mom had to hand over all of her assets even life insurance policies. It is so sad how people work their whole lives, intending to pass things down to their children, but if they end up in a nursing home, it all gets taken away.
    I hope you find a loop hole or someone steps up to the plate to take care of her.
  7. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Geez, I'm sorry Lisa. It was looking like you finally had all this settled and now this. I wish the SW had told you all this sooner. Afterall, you *did* ask specifically.

    I can't believe they would send her home if she can't walk. I would think they could fight the insurance company on that. Liability issues and all.

    You need this like you need another hole in the head.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aww Lisa,
    You sure don't need this to deal with. Will be keeping mother in law in my prayers and hope they find a way for insurance to continue to help with the nursing home. Hugs.