mother in law's going downhill fast, please rattle beads

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by trinityroyal, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Hello all...

    My mother in law, who has been more of a true mother to me than my difficult child-mother ever was, is very very sick and starting to go downhill fast.

    She's had cancer (leukemia and angiosarcoma) for the past 5 years or so, and has defied all the odds to even survive this long. The lady is a fighter. She was a WREN AND a pinup girl in World War 2, and she has lived her life to the fullest ever since.

    Until now. Now she just lies in her bed or sits in her chair, staring at the wall. Doesn't even seem to have the strength to watch TV or listen to the radio.

    brother in law (stupid, STUPID man!) insisted on joining us for Christmas dinner, even though he had H1N1. He passed it off as "a little cold or something". Well, mother in law caught H1N1 from him, and then pneumonia, which knocked her completely out. She stayed in bed, not eating or drinking anything, for 3 full days before she phoned anyone for help. We got her to the hospital, got her treated and now she's back home and on the mend, physically anyway.

    We've moved difficult child out of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) temporarily and he's been staying with her full-time as her companion. Part of difficult child's vocational training at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has been as an elder companion, he loves his Nana, and he is doing so very well looking after her. But she's just giving up. Hasn't left her bedroom in days. Won't do anything. difficult child makes her eat and drink, but that's about it.

    I think she's just worn out, but gentle souls in my life have been too few. I'm not ready to lose another one just yet. I know the power of the Board is mighty.Please say prayers, rattle beads, do the nekkid chicken liver dance, throw whatever you've got at it.

  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Well certainly keep her (and you) in my prayers.
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    You got it Trinity! Adding her to my list right now.
  4. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Prayers for your family going out.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm so sorry to hear that, Trinity! Would it help her spirits at all if a member of the clergy were to come by for a visit? Or an old friend? I can't imagine NOT feeling depressed after fighting cancer for so long and then just coming out of a lengthy hospital stay because of the pneumonia. Maybe if someone came into the home, someone close to her age that can talk to her and get her talking or thinking about doing something again... just an idea.

    I hope she's still got some fight left in her and is not really giving up. But whatever happens, will keep her and your family in my prayers.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Trinity! Im praying really really hard for you and her! Those babies need their Nana.
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Trinity, I'm so sorry to hear mother in law is so very ill.

    I have to say (& forgive me if this is just too honest) that my mom became this way about 2 weeks before she passed. It was like her body was giving out; in the meantime, Mom was in her own world - setting things straight. She wrote letters, poems. Mostly just sat & stared out the window.

    Prayers are being sent for your mother in law. I'm glad that difficult child is doing so well in helping care for his Nana.
  8. jal

    jal Member


    I am so sorry. Prayers being sent up for mother in law.
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I'm so sorry that this gentle and loving person in your life is struggling. I will offer prayers for her and for the whole family.

  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm sending gentle {{{healing prayers}}} for your dear mother in law that she can manage to bounce back yet again. And I'm sending a {{{hug}}} for you & your aching heart.
  11. ML

    ML Guest

    Trinity your story about her really touched my heart. I will pray for her and for you you my friend. Bless you, Love, ML
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Trinity, I'm so sorry that your mother in law is not doing well. I will keep her and the rest of your family in my prayers.
  13. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    So sorry, Trinity, my mother in law was a gentle soul too. Prayers being said.
  14. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Trinity, I'm so sorry to read this. Big hugs and good thoughts...

  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I will be thinking of your mother in law, you and the rest of your Family.
    hang in there to you and her, I know that's all you can do but here is some more strength.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Trinity & Family & Especially difficult child -

    I was so touched to read that you were taking care of your Nana. I can't express to you what a lovely, kind, beautiful thing that was to read especially since most of the young people today are so ME oriented. To help your Mom out right now is such a blessing. This is what families are all about and even though I don't know you, I am very proud of you. Trinity; I'm not sure if there really is any right thing or uplifting thing I can say to reach you where you are right now. I know you are such a strong person, but don't try to be right now. This is your Mom, it's okay to just be her daughter right now. This is the time when you just give it to God, and lean on your friends Know what I mean?? That way - you have plenty of time to do what you think will help your Mom.

    I know this sounds a bit whacky - but music often is a "something' that is in our digital hearing memory that our brains recall much quicker than any of our other senses. You said she was a pin up girl during WWII. So more than likely music from the 40's and 50's are bound to have some happy memories for her and get her brain working again. If you know of a certain time in her life that she recalls as very happy and there was music attached to that? Download some songs, burn them on CD and get them in her room and just play them for her. Maybe some favorite smells too. Bake some of her favorite foods. Put some familiar things in her room.

    If she beat the H1N1, WWII (Hitler) she's a strong girl. She's just thinking somewhere that you can't go right now. She just needs something to remind her that there's good things here too. Try the music and the smells. We'll keep the prayers and support going.

    Hugs & Love & Prayers
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my prayers.