A few things here - if you only make a fuss about her racist remarks AFTER you lose your job, you have no way to be able to prove you lost your job because of her feeling she had to 'get in first'. As you said, the job is physically challenging for you, there are probably legitimate reasons they could point to, to justify sacking you. Not that I'm saying you do a lousy job - I'm not there. But if there is ANY way you're not doing your job brilliantly, they can always find a reason to point to.
And she seriously may not consider herself a racist. Maybe she is very open-minded and welcoming, compared to her mother and daughter. Some people really have no clue - I know I've said racist things or cruel things, thinking i was being kind and generous. It needs the ability to step outside your own viewpoint and see that the other viewpoints are so far removed from your own. And sometimes, for some people, this is too great a leap. In her mind, being racist probably means thinking or saying that black people are inferior to white and should never be given jobs in a position of authority, or do not deserve the same opportunities as whites. This bus driver may well disagree with that, but still be saying things like, "Black people CAN do as well as whites but they have to work harder at it, life is going to automatically be much tougher for them." And the trouble with this viewpoint - it is at least partially right, because it is this attitude (along with the more extreme attitudes) that make this problem of struggle self-perpetuate.
Attitudes are changing but they don't swing full circle in less than a generation. It takes a number of generations to overcome the damages of the past.
I never considered my parents to be racist. They financially supported Aboriginal missions. I went to school with a lot of Mission kids. But we know NOW, that in supporting those missions both morally and financially, we were doing a grave disservice to Aboriginal people.
Later governments dealt with the major, ongoing problems in Aboriginal communities by blindly throwing money at them. This only encouraged exploitation by a few individuals, who took the money, promised to help the communities use the money wisely, and then frittered it away.
And our governments are still getting it wrong, still coming up with policies which are racist. Our legal system and policing is badly biased against those of Aboriginal descent. It's no longer based in law, but the practice and beliefs do not evaporate overnight.
Other issues are similar - I worked in an all-male environment and made it a point to do at least as much as the men, if not more. I knew I had to constantly work against the belief that because I was female, I could exploit my working environment and have an easier workload. So I toted that barge and lifted that bale with the best of them. I donned overalls with the men and got absolutely filthy in some of the nastier jobs. And I had a boss who let me do this because he wanted people to see he did not discriminate. I was held to the same work standards as the men, expected to do the same work for the same pay. And he was triumphant about this - he said one day, "We don't have any sexual discrimination around here, do we darlin'?" as he patted me on the behind. And he was not joking - he really believed he was a fair man in this. His swat on the behind was not a pass in any way, but he certainly wouldn't have done it to any of my male colleagues. I will not repeat what he said when I told them I was going to a lunchtime meeting on equal opportunities for women in the workplace - the site censor would block it. It was almost enough to stop me from going, it was a very colourful description of the sort of women who went to such meetings.
My boss was a much older man who genuinely believed he was not sexist. And maybe, compared to his own father, he wasn't.
I found, in my time at that place, that if I reacted to sexism with hostility, shock or disgust, this was met with, "Oh no, here we go again - I wish these women would stop being so reactive." All I was doing, when I got annoyed, was reinforcing their stereotype. Plus, it was making it harder for me to do my job, because the men were constantly either angry at me, or trying to get a rise out of me by being sexist. Other women in the workplace (all office staff - I wasn't) who reacted in the same way mostly left in tears after a few weeks, or were totally insulated by never having to deal with the men I worked with. So I learned to react with humour. It worked. I was still reacting, still making my point. Next time my boss patted me on the rear (always in front of my colleagues) I turned, smiling, and patted him kindly on the head, as I would to a balding grandfather. When the men put up yet another poster of naked women, I put up a poster of naked men - but a slightly humorous one, which had been totally figleafed and air-brushed. They learnt to not push my buttons because I would up the ante beyond where they dared go.
With racism - I'm not sure how you could handle it with humour, except maybe to tell anti-racist jokes. We have an Aboriginal TV presenter and sometime comedian who tells some beauties - Q: "Why don't Aboriginals get taken by sharks?" A: "Because they each wear around their necks a medallion which says, 'Australian government gives land rights to Aborigines' and not even a white pointer will swallow that one!"
MWM, I did a Google search for some anti-racist jokes you could use - if this bus driver says she's not racist, then she can't object to you telling her anti-racist jokes, can she? If you deal with this by using humour, you also leave the door open for friendly communication and an opportunity to re-educate her.
I knew I had won, in my all-male workplace, when a directive at long last came round that all poster material which offended other co-workers (or could be deemed to offend) had to be taken down. My colleagues removed their posters and came to me, caps figuratively in hand and tongues firmly in cheek. "Please, we have taken down our offensive material. You have a poster up which we find offensive. Please will you remove it?"
To which I replied, "Certainly, I relish the opportunity."
Gone forever were the days of the workshop wall being papered with Penthouse centrefolds.
Humour, right to the end. It works as a social lubricant and educational resource, when all else seems impossible.
Marg
