My brother finally called to check if I'd heard he got engaged...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Gee, it's only been 9 weeks since he told my parents he was engaged, and 9 weeks since I left him a voicemail to see how he was doing since I hadn't heard from him since MAY, and 8 weeks since my MOM told me (she told him she'd give him a week to tell me himself, otherwise she was going to tell me) he was getting married, and 4 weeks since I sent him a congratulatory card to his P.O. box (since I have no idea what his current address or living situation is...) and he finally called tonight for a very brief chat.

    He said he figured Mom would tell me (what, are you too chicken to tell me yourself?). It's going to be "sometime" in May, in Dana Point, and he made a point of telling me there would be no kids -- adults only.

    :rofl: husband turns to me and asks, "Do you think your mom can babysit that day so we can go to the wedding?"

    Part of me is hurt that he would exclude his one and only godson, difficult child 1. And part of me understands that he's an estranged sibling whom I really don't know anymore. It's his wedding and he does have a right to choose whom he invites. I just personally feel it's a really lousy decision to exclude his only niece and nephews. But then, he hasn't really been a part of my family or any family (except maybe his girlfriend's) for a very long time. :mad:

    I guess we all make our choices. I can choose to boycott the wedding, I suppose. I'll see how I feel this Spring... :tongue:

    I had to laugh, though, at difficult child 2's comment tonight: I'll bet Uncle C ends up cancelling at the last minute since he always breaks up with everyone he dates! Yes, well, May is a long way off, isn't it? A lot can happen in the world between now and then.

    Okay, thanks for letting me vent.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    At least he finally got the stones to tell you. I was wondering if he ever was. I think it stinks to have weddings with-o kids, I think that the kids are usually the most fun part of any wedding reception, LOL!

    I thought difficult child 2's comment was actually quite insightful, seeing as the boy doesn't even have the courage to call an estranged sibling to tell them about the "happy" event. If you are not jumping up and down to share this with the world, then it may not be the right thing to do, in my opinion.

    I bet there is more to this story, and I am glad that YOU don't have to plan the wedding, or be in the mandatory "never to be worn again" bridesmaid dress.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I'm sorry that you are upset. It can be so difficult with family members at times. I'm glad he told you. Yet I also believe that children should be a part of a wedding, except the rare circumstances of a "late" wedding and no children allowed. Yet even those ususally include the family members kids, even if their brought home early.

    What difficult child did say wow. You never do know how much can change in a short period of time. This may not even be an issue by then. Ofcourse I do not wish that. Yet as you said see how you feel in the spring. By than you may have a different perspective on things.

    I had a similar situation with family years ago. I was also told "don't bring kids". Yet other family kids were invited. I simply did not go. I said sorry we are a package deal, other children are invited that's just ridiculous. Good luck I told them. I also wasn't very close with them. People can just be very selfish at times.

    good luck i hope you have a good halloween :)
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    A very astute observation! Letting it slide for a while sounds like the best bet yet!
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Man is that kid of yours intuitive!

    Yeah - wait and see....I'm sorry you are hurt - would have been nice to have a brother you could have been a part of. If I had one? I'd give him to you! - send him the worst chicken out of the flock as a gift. :tongue:
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I've been to weddings where kids honestly were not welcome. It made things inconvenient for those who had children but no one that I knew took it personally. Some people just don't want them around. They're too afraid the kids will start running wild, interfering with toasts cause they're bored, topple the wedding cake, etc. I agree that kids at weddings are fun. Give them disposable cameras for the reception and they're usually pretty happy little campers and so dang cute. It is your brother's loss (if he manages to make it to the wedding).

    As to your son, I think he said it all.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The whole no kids at a wedding thing just made me remember a family friend who's 18yo son got married. She sent the announcements and had "no kids" on them - his PARENTS have 2 younger children! Both are very well behaved, and the oldest daughter is great about taking the younger daughter (about 7 years apart in age from each other, and the older bro is 4-5 yrs older than the oldest daughter) out for a break when they need her to.

    You guessed it, the parents were VERY offended and refused to go. Heck, I refused to even send a gift when I saw that even their PARENTS were not allowed to bring the grooms (or the bride's) younger sibs!

    What are people thinking? Are weddigns not family occasions? I guess maybe that is the voice of too many big Catholic weddings.

    Anyway, I hoep that things go off however is best for the bride and groom.
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yeah, difficult child 2 is VERY insightful at times...

    I guess if my kids were little and rambunctious, I'd understand more. But c'mon, by the time the wedding is here they'll be 14 1/2, 12 and 10! And for gosh sakes, they're FAMILY. But then, my little brother does not really seem to have time for family, so that explains a lot. It's actually surprising he's even getting married. Or having a ceremony at all -- in the past he always said he'd elope.


    I told difficult child 1 that when he gets married, he can tell his uncle that grody old farts like him aren't invited to his wedding! :rofl:

    Feels good to grouse about relatives sometimes, doesn't it? :D