Hi Frustratedmom,
I am glad you found us, but very sorry that you needed to. Everyone here understands completely what you are going through.
If you don't mind, I would like to ask a few questions to better understand your situation.
When he was younger, we tried many health professionals, and medications
Did your son ever receive a diagnosis? What were the medications prescribed to treat?
He is so thin and he and his room smell badly.
Was your son always thin or did he lose weight? Is it possible that he is using drugs?
My own 26 year old son was diagnosed bipolar at age 3. Most medications we tried in his younger years did not work well or at all. I finally found one that I thought would work, but his psychiatrist (a highly respected, private child psychiatrist) was adamant against putting him on this drug. I fought her for 2 years and finally fired her as his Dr. I got my Difficult Child on it (it was Abilify) and he had some very decent years before stopping it at age 18.
My son's room often smelled badly because he would not bring dirty dishes out, hiding them so I wouldn't see them upon a casual inspection. Difficult Child is also of a naturally thin build but lost weight very noticeably when he started to use meth.
he must control every aspect and still seems miserable
My Difficult Child was like this for as long as I can remember (prior to his psychosis of last 3 years). It is extremely disheartening. It seems like every outing was a disaster. For many years, I could not take him to a single grocery store even (at least not without regretting it)
I'm sorry for what you are going through. He is clearly depressed. That is such a hard thing to watch our children go through. Hugs to you.
Other people will come along with advice and wise words. This site has helped me tremendously. Words can't express.
I just wanted to say hi and let you know you are not alone.
Peace and be well.