My eyes were opened today...what a lesson...


New Member
The IEP team has ALL the cards stacked in their favor. Not to bore you with the story about this IEP meeting, but at one point I said I wanted difficult child to go to "Year-round-school", clarified as: His services and turtoring continue from now until the start of the next school session without any summer break. (The whole team agreed that he totally loses ground that was gained, if there is a holiday - like he did over Easter break.) So I said to ehlp him succeed we need to continue his services and turtoring through the summer - no break.

Breifly they discussed "Extended School Year", clarified as 6 wks in June and July, but not the whole summer break.

On the IEP pages where you "Accept" or "Reject" each proposal, my proposal was marked Rejected, and their proposal was marked Accepted.

I looked at that, and said "Who accepted your proposal, becuase I didn't?" They said, "the IEP Team accepted it". I said, "WHAT, YOU can MAKE your own proposal AND ACCEPT it without when I don't agree. BUT, YOU can reject my proposal and I can't do anything about it????????????" My lawyer looked at me, and said "yep".

Well I didn't let that just go away, and I went into: if I'm part of "The Team" then how can it be accepted if I disagree, and if this is for real then why are we even meeting and wasting time because you're only going to do what you want and not what I want for my son, and I have no say in it, becuase YOU can just accept your own proposals. I WAS SOOOOO PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!

My lawyer then said for us to go get some air, and I asked her if i did something wrong. She said no!! "You stated EXACTLY what everyone in that room knows, which is THEY out number you and THEY will accept what THEY want, and YOU have no power to stop them......the whole process is IN THEIR FAVOR!!!! WHAT???????? :surprise: Then why are "WE ALL" are having a meeting as a "TEAM"????????????????????

Man, what an eye opener. I NEVER realized that, until today. I feel so stupid that I never picked that up in the 5 or more IEP meetings I've been in.

My lawyer said she wanted to give them this last chance to do whats right, and they didn't. Now we're filing our complaints and suing them.

Oh, in the mean time THEY are sending him over to see another Neuro-psychiatric Diagnostician (however you spell it).


Active Member
so frustrating I am sure. today I was cleaning out old papers and found my letters back and forth to the school district about ant since he was in kindergarten!!
ugh. I read them including those where I asked for help and then I burned them all.

at least I know I tried to get help. I hope your lawyer is successful.


No real answers to life..
<span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'>Hope you have your warrior mom armour on....its going to be a bumpy ride, but go get 'em......</span>

:warrior: :warrior: :warrior: :warrior: :warrior:


New Member
That was how it was for us, too.........and even going to due process did not help much. It was so wrong, so stupid, yes.

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I'm sorry-that really stinks-we're in the process of updating difficult child's IEP and it's been nothing but a pain!

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
IEP's are a major PITA.

I started & still do take both an advocate along with our mental health CM to each & every IEP meeting.

I want another set of ears in the room; another set of notes.

I'm sorry that you've had such a rough meeting - I'm glad your attorney is now stepping in.


New Member
you are part of the team but you are one voice amoung many. as i have read after you sign the inital IEP all the rest can go forward on what they decide with-o your approval.

well good luck in due process. i haven't been there myself but i see it coming after next wks bip.

don't backdown!


Active Member
I'll have to check, but my understanding of how OUR system works - a parent HAS to be present for an IEP meeting, unless there are extraordinary circumstances. After the meeting the school draws up the IEP based on how the whole team decided in the meeting. It has to include consensus.

But for us, the BIG leverage - if we're applying for funding (which comes from our Federal government, trickling down through to state government and then to Education Department) then the Learning Team meets (sometimes in the IEP meeting, but usually a separate meeting to discuss funding) and we go through the paperwork to determine what level of support (and therefore funding) is needed.

And NOTHING happens if the parent does not agree - if we refuse to sign, the school gets no funding.

As a result, parents tend to have more say, especially where they know this piece of information.

The complicating factor (which you could probably use also) is that where schooling is compulsory, there is an implied requirement on the school to provide an appropriate education - the education must be accessible. For example, a blind child would have to be supported in some way in terms of access to learning Braille, using an appropriate computer, etc. Failure to do this is discriminatory. Even if the school seems to be trying hard ("hearts in the right place"), if they are failing to meet the child's needs it is their responsibility to fix the situation.



New Member
well at least it only took you 5 iep meetings to figure this out. or maybe less since you already hired an attorney before this meeting. I was so foolish and trusting for years.
Good luck.


New Member
I was just wondering if you had year round schools where you live? My kids went to a year round school for awhile and I felt that it worked really well. They had a short summer, but they still did have some. It was mostly 9 weeks on and 3 off, so they still did have time off. It did feel more continuous than traditional school though. I don't know as if the schools here offer anything except extended school year for kids who need it. I'm not certain if you can get something over a time of vacation that just does not exist.


New Member
Morning ALL, thanks for your thoughts and replies.

Lordhelpme, where did you read that. I'd be intersted in gaining more knowledge about this whole process.

It seems to me that they (the School district) purposely don't inform you of things, so they can get away with stuff just becuase we parents are uniformed. Man that just makes me mad and sick. The SD are suppose to do what is right for our children, whether normal or special needs. Playing this type of game just comes across as self purposeful, without any regard to what IS BEST for the child. It's plain disgusting.

Stella Johnson

Active Member
I know exactly what you mean and have said the same thing myself at least a thousand times. It is ridiculous. There are other avenues.

Is your attorney specialized in anything? I really hope so. Sped law is so difficult with a million loop holes.

I filed a complaint years ago when difficult child was young with the texas education agency. It really kept them on their toes. They go through the school with a fine toothed comb. :devil: I really enjoyed watching them jump through hoops for a change.

Check with your state to see what the protocol is for doing this.

good luck in your fight.